


The Time Wanderer

by b92morgan



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alex and Mordred are the same person, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, F/M, Historical Inaccuracy, M/M, Marriage, Mpreg, Multiple Chapters story, Possessive Behavior, Romance, Story strongly inspired by Outlander, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-28
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:02:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 44,998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23899435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/b92morgan/pseuds/b92morgan
Summary: Merlin is a normal young man on his second honeymoon with his husband Alex after being apart for a few years. Soon he ends up in the past, in a foreign world to him. Surrounded by friends and foes alike, he will do anything to go back to his time, but the meeting with the legendary King Arthur will make it very difficult, especially for his heart.
Relationships: Gwen/Lancelot (Merlin), Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin/Mordred (Merlin)
Comments: 84
Kudos: 427





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Story strongly inspired by the tv show/book Outlander, obviously with my own twist.  
> If you don’t know Outlander, there is not problem. This note is for those that know it and may find this story familiar.

**July 2019-Glastonbury**

Taking a deep breath, Merlin tried to enjoy as much as possible the sun and fresh air of the countryside; the wind messing up his raven hair. He and his husband, Alex, were travelling to Glastonbury in a rent convertible to spend together what they called their second honeymoon, after five years apart due to Merlin's job. Merlin had been travelling all over the world with Doctors Without Borders (MSF). This call of his had been cause of a lot of arguments between the two of them, considering they had just got married. For awhile Merlin had done as his husband wished and worked in a hospital in London, but at the end of the day he was not really happy. He needed more, and only a year after the marriage, he joined MSF. And now, five years later, he came back, and he and Alex needed some time alone to remember who they were together.

"Are you all right, dear?" Alex asked, looking away from the road for a second.

Merlin turned to him and smiled. "Never better. I am so happy to be back and to be with you. I missed you." 

Alex smiled. He took his hand and kissed it. "I missed you too, Merls."

After another hour drive they reached the city centre and parked in front of their Bed&Breakfast, _The Rising Sun_.

"It's cute. Very mediaeval" Merlin commented.

Alex chucked while he grabbed their bags from the car trunk. "It's said to be the oldest hotel of England, and was indeed build during the Middle Ages. Legend says King Arthur himself used to come here for a drink once in awhile." 

Merlin laughed. "I guess that even legendary kings that pulled swords from stones needed a pint at the end of the day. Posh clotpole”  
  
"You haven't just called King Arthur a clotpole!" Alex said laughing.

"Of course I have. Posh git doing nothing all day but playing with his sword. That's what you should teach to your students."

Alex was a Folklore and Mythology professor at London University, and was obsessed with the Arthurian Legends and the druids, maybe because his surname was Druidson, and maybe it was destiny he fell in love with someone called Merlin Emerson. They had laughed about this coincidence a lot at the beginning of their relationship. And this obsession was the reason why they chose Glastonbury, and later Cornwall, for their second honeymoon. They said King Arthur's tomb was in Glastonbury, and that he was born in Tintagel, Cornwall. Merlin had to admit he knew very little of the Legends, only what everyone knew: Camelot, Excalibur, the Round Table, Lancelot, Guinevere, Morgana Le Fay and or course his namesake Merlin the Wizard. But after being selfish for so long it was only fair he did whatever Alex wanted. Therefore if his husband wanted to do an historical trip, following King Arthur's path, so be it. 

"Remind me to never invite you to one of my classes. You may corrupt my innocent students." 

Merlin lifted one eyebrow and smirked slyly. He stepped into his husband personal space. "Well, I do enjoy corrupting young and innocent Mythology students, as you know very well. I am a very naughty boy. I need to be punished, professor."

Alex's eyes dilated in arousal. He was never able to resist his husband. He had always found Merlin very sexy. He had wanted him as soon as he saw him, and later fell in love with his cheeky personality. He kissed him deeply on the lips.

"Oh yes, my dear, you will be punished... but before that, let's go to our room as fast as possible."

They entered the Rising Sun and soon their room.

"Very cosy. I've always found floral wallpaper very sensual." Merlin commented with his hands on his hips, while looking their room with a critical eye. 

His husband's only answer was to wrap his arms around his waist from behind and start to kiss his neck. 

"Uhm, yeah, now we are talking"

"I missed you so much" Alex murmured. "I yearned for you every night. I want to take you."

Merlin turned around to face him and caressed his face.

"Then what are you waiting for? Take me. Make me yours again."

And Alex did. He grabbed Merlin from the butt and lifted him up, forcing him to wrap his arms around his neck and his legs around his waist, and took him to bed. 

The curious and meddling owner of the B&B, who liked to listen to what young couple these days were up to, could only hear the banging of the bed against the wall, and Mr Merlin's loud moans of pleasure, from her place outside the door.

She giggled. "Young men." And she kept going. 

The two men in the room were catching their breath after the long shag after so long.

"I think Mrs Graham stopped at our door at same point. You were too loud" Said Alex, his arms around Merlin's shoulder. 

"Well, I hope she enjoyed the show. Not my fault my husband is a sex machine." Merlin said, his head on Alex's chest, while playing with the hairs on his chest.

"Sex machine? There's no need to flatter me. You already had your wicked way with me."

Merlin chucked. "Well, I hope we didn't scarred her given that at check-in she thought we were brothers." 

Alex laughed. "Oh my, her face!"

"We should be used to it. It definitely wasn't the first time. We do look like brothers."

Like Merlin, Alex had raven curly hair, white skin, a tall and slim body and blue eyes. However, if on one hand Merlin's eyes were blue like the ocean, Alex's were icy blue; some people even considered his eyes to be cold. 

"We do, and we had our fun confusing people when we were younger, but I am happy we are not."

"No?" Merlin asked, having fun.

"No. Committing incest would have been quite inconvenient, don't you think?"  
  
Merlin was shocked. "Are you saying that you would have fucked me even if we were brothers? Blood related." 

Alex turned serious and grabbed Merlin's wrist. "I'll always want you. No matter who, where, or when we are. Regardless of the circumstances, you are mine. We are destined to be together. I love you.” He kissed the wedding ring on his finger. "I knew you would come back to me. You always will."

Merlin smiled, but it was not his usual open smile. He had forgotten how possessive Alex was. At the beginning Merlin was sure he was being stalked by the other, but then he realised his constant presence was just a coincidence and relaxed, allowing their relationship to flourish.

"Well, here I am. And I am not going anywhere." 

"I am so happy. Does it mean you are ready to start a family?" Alex asked eager. 

Alex had always wanted a family with Merlin, since day one, but Marlin was not ready. At the age of 20 there still was so much he wanted to do with his life before properly settling down. Alex had not been happy, but gave Merlin the time he needed, and Merlin knew he could not postponed this anymore.

"Yes, Alex, I am."

The other smiled until his face was about to break, and hugged Merlin tight against his chest.

"Thank you! Oh, my love, I am so so happy. We are going to have a baby."

“Let’s work on it right away then. What do you think?”

***

The next day, Merlin and Alex travelled just outside Glastonbury to visit its Tor, a hill topped by St. Michael Tower, where a tomb supposedly belonging to King Arthur was found.

It was a beautiful place. The hill was of a bright emerald green with terraces. The Tower on top of it was rectangular and roofless. Once they reached the top of the hill, Merlin was speechless in front of such stunning view.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" Alex asked next to him.

"Yes, breathtaking"

"And in the Middle Ages, this hill was surrounded by a lake, that everyone believed to be the Lake of Avalon. However, sometime later, it dried out and only a small pond on the other side of the hill remained. Let's go inside the Tower."

Alex took Merlin's hand and they walked inside the stone building.

"Here. This is the most interesting part"  
  
Alex dragged him inside an underground chapel where a long rectangular marble tomb stood.

"Is it...?"

"Yes, this is King Arthur's resting place."

The side of the tomb was ornate by inscriptions, some were well visible, while others were long lost. On the top of the tomb, a man's figure was engraved. The man was dressed like a Knight, but with a Crown on his head. It must have been King Arthur. And next to it another person shape was engraved, but again time had destroyed it.

"This is a marriage type of tomb. It means that the bodies of a married couple rest in there, and their images are engraved in the cover. But as you can see, one is completely ruined, impossible to recognise." Alex explained.

"Well, it can only be Guinevere’s. Wasn't she King Arthur's wife?" 

"Legends say she left Arthur due to her love for Lancelot, Arthur's most trusted knight. But it may be that since they were never divorced, she was buried here when she died." Alex shrugged. 

"And what do the inscriptions say? It looks like Latin”

“ _Hic jacet sepultus inclitus rex Arthurus in insula Avalonia, et dilecto_. ‘Here lies interred the famous King Arthur on the Isle of Avalon, and his beloved’... The rest was cancelled by time. Whoever is in there with him will always remain a mystery."

Merlin felt the overwhelming need to caress King Arthur's marble face, a delicate touch, the one reserved only for the most beloved ones. How strange.

He felt Alex's hands massaging his shoulders and then whispering in his ear. "What do you think, Merls? Would you like to do it here?" 

Merlin turned around quickly. "What?? Here?" He laughed.

"I see you still have that kink of yours, where you like to do it on historical sites."

Alex shrugged.

"Honey, someone may come here and see us." Merlin tried to reason.

"Since when you are such a prude? And don't worry. Being a sort of God in my field allows me some privileges, like booking a private tour with my beautiful husband."

Merlin smiled and shook his head. "Well, Mr God, nonetheless this is not a monument. It's a grave. We should show some respect." He couldn't tell him the real reason was that he felt very uncomfortable having sex in front of the remains of King Arthur, as if he was cheating.

Alex sighed, but nodded. "You are right, of course. Come on, let's go have lunch. I am starving."

He grabbed Merlin's hands and started to lead the way out.

However, before they exited the underground chapel, Merlin felt a light touch on the back of his neck, as if someone was caressing his hair. He turned around toward the tomb, looking around for something, maybe a draught, but nothing. Somehow he was not surprised. The touch felt pretty much human. He closed his eyes, hoping to hear something. He jumped out of his skin when the touch moved to his left cheek. It was warm. Before he could move, Alex's voice destroyed the moment.

"Merlin, are you coming?"

"Yes, coming!"

The presence was gone. Merlin looked around for few more seconds, then followed his husband outside. He didn't hear the whisper in the air...

" _Merlin_ "

***

"Are you all right, dear?" Alex asked a bit worried later that evening while he and Merlin were spooning on the bed after making love. "You are very quite."

Merlin snored. "You just made me scream by lungs out with that big monster of yours in my ass, and you say I am quite?"

"Monster, uh?" He smirked at Merlin's unique way to compliment him. "What I mean is that you are quieter than usual. You have been since we left Glastonbury Tor."

Merlin remained silenced for a moment, but then smiled up at his husband. "It's nothing. I am just tired"

He saw Alex frowning and before he could open his mouth to ask him more questions, Merlin put a finger on his mouth, and straddled him, to distract him.

Alex was looking at him full of love, and Merlin felt a bit guilty. He took Alex's cock in his hand and guided it to his entrance, enjoying the gasp from the man under him the moment he must have felt his warmth around his penis. Then he started to ride him, all the while feeling as if someone was watching them.

***

The next day, Merlin was sitting on an armchair in lobby of the B&B, near the window, allowing the sun to kiss his white skin. He was reading a book.

He felt Alex coming to him from behind and kissing his head.

"What are you reading?" He looked over his shoulder to peek. "Le Morte d'Arthur. If I knew it would only take a couple of days here to make you finally interested in my field, I would have brought you here sooner."

"Ah ah very funny"

"I am going to the library this afternoon. What's your plan?"

"I am going back to the Tor. Yesterday I saw interesting plants and herbs along the hill sides and near the pond. I was thinking to go and collect some." During his time with MSF, Merlin found a passion for using herbs for medical proposes, sometimes due to lack of proper medicines.

Alex smiled, finding his new hobby very funny for some reason. "All right, but be careful. I'll see you later this evening. I’ll take you out to a nice restaurant"

Merlin smiled, took the neck of his shirt, and pulled him down for a deep kiss.

***

Merlin parked not far from the pond, and slowly made his way near the water to look for the right plants. He felt in peace surrounded by nature and that mystical place. He avoided the Tower, feeling silly for thinking a ghost had touched him the day before. 

Soon he was distracted by a glowing in the centre of the pond, as if there was a golden object on the bed of the lake.

Always curious, he removed his shoes and entered the lake, and moved toward the centre. The water was not very deep, it only reached the knees level. He bent forward to have a better look.

All of sudden the face of a woman appeared in the water. She had brown hair and gentle brown eyes.

Merlin jumped in fright, but before he could straighten up, an arm emerged from the water and grabbed his wrist, keeping him there.

She smiled kindly to him. Somehow that smile made him feel calm, despite the absurd situation.

Before he could free himself, she pulled him underwater.

Pure fear invaded him as he fell deeper and deeper, as if the lake was bottomless. He felt cold the deeper he went. He was too aware of the girl's hand still around his wrist.

Before he lost consciousness, he saw a light coming closer. His eyes closed and the last thing he heard was a female voice. 

" _The King is waiting for you, Emrys_ "


	2. Chapter 2

Bubbles everywhere he turned, he couldn't breath, his lungs were on fire. He kept flailing in the water, disorientated. He only knew that the woman's hand was not around his wrist anymore. Instinctively he moved his arms and legs to push himself upwards, toward the light.  
Soon he breeched the surface, and the shock of the sudden rush of air filling his chest left him floating in the water for a few minutes.

When he was finally sure he could breath normally, Merlin dared to open his eyes and look around. As suspected, he was in the centre of a lake, however he saw that the shore was not far, right in front of him. Gulping, he started to swim. Thankfully, it didn't take him long to reach the bank. He grabbed the green grass and pulled himself out of the water. He decided to lay down for a few minutes, panting.

"Ok, Merlin, calm down. It was nothing. You only slipped and almost drowned yourself. That's it. No strange lights, no woman in the lake. Now you will sit up, then stand up, go back to the car and return to Alex, for a nice dinner followed by mind blowing sex. You will laugh about all this one day, clumsy idiot." He said to himself.

He stood up and for the first time properly looked at his surrounding. He gasped when he noticed that what only a few minutes ago was a small pond was now a huge lake, encircling the hill. A light mist was floating above the surface. His eyes widened even more when he noticed that the Tower was in ruins no more, as if fresh built.

"What the fuck?" He whispered, keeping looking left and right. He touched his forehead in confusion. "I must have hit my head. I am losing my mind. Let's get out of here."

He started to move toward where he left his car and realised he had no shoes on. "Shit" He had removed them before entering the water. He looked around for them very quickly, and not finding them he murmured, "Oh whatever. I'll come back another time. Now I really want to go the hell away from here!"

He continued to the car, only to find it gone. He spread his arms in frustration. “Oh come on! Are you fucking kidding me??" He sighed deeply. "Great. Just great. This day is getting better and better. Now someone stole my car as well, and my phone was in there!" He pulled his wet hair in frustration. "All right, Merlin. Don't panic. You found yourself in worse troubles. The nearest town is not far, probably a few hours walk, and if you are lucky, which you are not today apparently, you will find someone on the way so nice to give you a ride."

Sighing one more time, he started the barefoot walk toward what he hoped was Glastonbury.

On the way he had to pass through a forest, even though he didn't remember seeing one on the way to the hill.

"I swear, if tonight my brain is not fucked out of me during the best sex of my life after all this..." He muttered to himself after tripping for the hundredth time on a fallen branch or rock and hurting his bare feet even more, " ... I will divorce you, Alex!"

Then all of sudden, he heard a noice coming from some bushes on the right. He stopped right away, a bit scared. "Hello?" He asked, scared to utter more than a whisper.

A man jumped out. He was dressed in black, with a helmet, chainmail, a shield, a bloody sword, and he wore a crest with a red tree on a black banner. Merlin was quite sure he was supposed to be a knight.

He and Merlin looked at each other with the same level of surprise. 

Merlin gulped, "Oh hello." He chucked awkward, "I am sorry, I didn't know you were shooting a movie. I don't want to disturb your work, but I am lost I think, and someone stole my car. Could you please be so nice to ask your supervisor if I can use a phone to contact my husband?"

The knight's only answer was to unsheathe his sword and run toward him, shouting.

Merlin's eyes widened in fear and he stumbled backward, but before he could be stabbed, an arrow flew out of nowhere and hit the soldier right in the heart.

Merlin had seen enough wounds to recognise one, and years as a doctor made his body move instinctively and reached the man, now on the ground.

"Holy Crap!" He shouted when he saw the blood, that was not as fake as he thought, and more importantly it was not fake the fact that the man was now a corpse. He saw enough dead bodies in his life to recognise one even before checking for a pulse. "Double holy crap!!" 

Before he could do anything about the dead man in front of him, he saw more men dressed as knights coming his way. 

He did the only thing he could think of. He ran.

He ran as if death itself was chasing him. He ignored the branches hitting his face and the mud dirtying his feet and clothes. He could hear men behind him. He ran faster. 

"Shit, Shit..."

He reached a river all of sudden and found a man kneeling on the shore, drinking.

For a moment, time stopped when their eyes met. Merlin couldn't breath.

"Alex?" Merlin asked in confusion. The man could have been his husband’s twin. "What are you doing here? And why are you dressed like that?"

The man was dressed with long black ropes, a forest green cloak, the red tree crest like the dead knight on the front, and a triskelion tattoo on his collarbone. He didn't answer Merlin's questions. He just looked at him intensely and slowly stood up.

An uneasy sensation started to settle in Merlin's guts. "You are not Alex" It was not a question.

The man smiled, not in a nice way. "No, I am not. My name is Mordred." He bowed mockery. "At your service. And who may you be? I have never seen you around here. I would never miss such a beautiful man." He looked at Merlin up and down, as if he was a juicy piece of meat.

Merlin stepped back and again he decided to run.

"Oh I don't think so, darling"

He didn't go far before he heard Mordred muttering something and a strong wind picked up around him, pushing him against the nearest tree.

Shocked, Merlin looked up and gasped when he saw Mordred's eyes were shining gold.

"What the fuck? Who the hell are you?"

Mordred smirked evilly and stepped forwards, caressing Merlin's cheek. In response, Merlin snarled and kicked him in the nuts. Mordred bend over in pain, and Merlin took this as a chance to escape. Again he didn't go far. Mordred lifted his hand and his eyes shone gold. Merlin was pin to the tree again, this time however he couldn't move.

Mordred grabbed his chin and raised his face so they could look into each other’s eyes. Mordred seemed to like what he saw.

"You are a fierce one. I like that." Again he looked at him from head to toes. "I like everything I am seeing" He then touched Merlin's ass, and licked his cheekbone. "Tell me your name"

"Get your hands off me, you creep, or I'Il..."

"You what, my lovely _Merlin_?"

Merlin's eyes widened. "How?"

Mordred smirked, tapping his head. "A little talent of mine. Where were we?"

He kept molesting him. He kissed his neck up and down, while squeezing his ass.

"No!" Merlin couldn't move. He was scared. "Let me go, you bastard!" He spat in his face.

Mordred removed the bit of saliva from his cheek and, to Merlin's disgust, licked it away from his thumb, moaning. "Uhm, delicious. But I wouldn't do that again if I were you, darling. I am a very important and powerful man." He put his hands in Merlin's pants and caressed his cock. "You will be my lovely sex slave once I take you back to Camelot with me."

"The boy doesn't seem to appreciate your touch, Mordred. Let him go" A new man said. He was wearing a chainmail. 

Mordred snarled and held Merlin tighter. "Get lost, before I kill you. This one is mine!"

He would have said more if another man had not turned out to hit him on the head, knocking him unconscious, his power stopping working on Merlin right away.

The first man approached Merlin slowly, as if he was a scared animal. Merlin definitely felt like one.

"Are you all right?"

In truth, Merlin was kind of traumatised at the moment. "Fine!”

"Lance, we need to go. More soldiers are coming." The other man said urgently, looking around with his sword drawn.

This Lance fellow nodded at his companion, and then turned to Merlin. "Percy is right. We must go." He grabbed Merlin's hand.

"No, wait. I cannot come with you. I need to go back to my husband."

"Do you know where he is?" Lance asked.

"I don't even know where I am" Merlin admitted. 

"Lance!" Percy said more urgently.

"Look.. ehm…"

"Merlin"

"…Look Merlin. It's dangerous here. Come with us and then we'll see about finding your husband." He started to drag the scared boy away.

"No, please, I don’t want to."

"Percy"

Unceremoniously, the mountain of a man lifted a shouting Merlin on his shoulder and the three men left the river bank.

They stopped at the opening of a hidden cave about half an hour later and Percy let Merlin down.

"Finally! I was about to get sick. I am not a sack of potato." 

Lance smiled indulgently, "Yes, Merlin. You said that many times on the way here. Poor Percy was about to drop you in the mud in exasperation."

"Percy!" Merlin said shock and a bit hurt. "After dragging my ass around in the forest like a caveman, I thought there was something special between us."

Lance laughed. Percy blushed and ran inside the cave. Lance shook his head amused. Then he grabbed Merlin's shoulders to guide him inside.

"Wait, Lance. Come on, man. Please let me go." Merlin pleaded. 

Lance sighed. "Merlin. I have already told you. It's dangerous. There are many like Mordred out there. You will be safe with us." 

Merlin frowned. "Us?"

Lance smiled and finally managed to push Merlin into the cave. Inside Merlin saw other men, all dressed in brown clothes covered by chainmail. All of them drew their swords when they saw Merlin. 

"Put them down. He is with me" Lance said to his companions, who immediately did as asked by their trusted friend, and moved to the end of the cave.

"Are you crazy? Who the hell is he?" A man completely dressed in black asked, clearly not happy.

"Percy and I found him in the forest. He and our friend Mordred were getting to know each other."

Everyone turned to him.

"He was trying to rape me...” Merlin clarified.

"Be silence!" The man shouted. "You have no say in here"

Before Merlin could give him a piece of his mind, Lance put a hand on his shoulder to stop him.

"Agravaine, let him be. He was lost in the forest. He was trying to find his husband since they got separated, but found Mordred. We saved him."

This Agravaine stared intensity at Merlin, who stared back.

“You seem sure he was in dangerous. How can you be? Maybe he is one of them. Look at his clothes for God’s sake. And you brought him here to us?" 

Lance straightened up. "Mordred was attacking him. It's my duty as a knig... I mean... as a man to protect people. It's going to be only for tonight. Tomorrow I'll help him to go back where he came from"

Before Agravaine could say more, a groan came from the far end of the cave. Merlin looked and saw the other men standing around a sitting figure.

Lance escorted Merlin near the group. Agravaine was kneeled in front of the seated man. 

"How are you, boy?"

"It hurts like hell" The man groaned in obvious pain.

Lance leaned toward Merlin's ear . "These are my companions: Gwaine; Leon; Elyan..." He pointed first at a man with beautiful long brown hair and eyes, who was eating an apple; then at a very tall man with curly ginger hair and blue eyes; then at one with dark skin and eyes. " ... you have already met Percy and Lord Agravaine. The one sitting down is Ari."

"He is hurt" Merlin noticed from the man's posture.

"He fell from his horse during a fight. The bone of his shoulder came out."

Agravaine kept talking to Ari. "Can you ride?"

"Not with this shoulder"

Elyan stepped forward. "All right. We have no choice. I need to put that bone back in its place."

Merlin kept watching what they were doing. He knew it would be better for him to just stay quite for once in his life and mind his own business, but when he saw how Elyan was about to just push the bone back in, he couldn't stop himself.

"No, stop!"

He stepped towards the men, that draw their swords again. Merlin didn't care anymore.

"You will break his arm if you do that. You need to set the arm in the right position before putting the bone back in."

No one moved, until Ari nodded, indicating to his friends to let Merlin come closer. Merlin did and had the opportunity to see Ari's face clearly.

He was a very handsome man. He had a strong jaw and his nose gave him a Roman look. In the darkness of the cave he couldn't make his hair colour out, however it was quite dirty and most likely brown. What he managed to see with absolute clarity however were his eyes. They were blue like the summer sky. They were shining in the dark and piercing Merlin's soul.

They looked at each other in the eyes, strangely been able to understand each other without talking. Ari nodded and Merlin got to work.

He positioned his arm in the right way, ignoring Ari's moans of pain. Then he looked at him.

"This is the worst part"

Ari nodded again, shaking a little bit.

Merlin took his hand and slowly guided his arm inwards. You could see the bone of the shoulder moving until it disappeared in the articulation with a loud pop sound, followed by Ari's gasp.

Ari looked down in awe, then up at Merlin. "It doesn't hurt anymore".

"It will. It'll hurt for a week. You have to take it easy, using warm compress" Merlin said while creating a sling from a belt let by a generous Gwaine around his arm to keep it up against his chest.

"You seem to have experience with this"

"I am a doctor" Merlin said proud.

Before Ari could ask more, Agravaine interrupted them.

"Can you ride now?"

Ari looked at Merlin first, then he turned back to Agravaine.

"Yes, I think so"

"Good. Let’s go!" He turned towards the opening, soon followed by the rest of the men.

Ari stood up. He was very tall with large shoulders. Merlin barely refrained himself from licking his lips.

Ari nodded in thanks and told Merlin to follow him and that he would ride with him.

Merlin frowned. "I am staying here, so tomorrow I can go back to my husband."

"You will come with us!" Agravaine said, coming back.

"What!?" Merlin protested. "No, I don't want to. You cannot take me with you against my will. Look, I am sorry for invading your set and interrupting your job. By the way, I love your costumes. But I have a husband that is looking for me for sure. I would like to go home."

Agravaine rudely took him by the arm. "I don't know what you are babbling about, and I don't care. Unfortunately you saw our faces and our names. We cannot let you go." He dragged him outside, where the men were getting on their horses. It was dark by now.

"You will ride with..."

"He will ride with me." Ari interrupted whatever Agravaine was try to say.

The man nodded unhappy and whispered to Merlin, while Ari was getting on top of his horse. "If you try something funny, I will slit your throat."

Merlin snarled at him, but kept his mouth shut.

Ari smiled down at him and helped him to get on the horse.

Merlin ended up sitting in front of him. Thankfully it was not the first time he rode a horse.

He looked ahead and gasped. "Where is it? Where is the city? Should be visible from here."

"Glastonbury?" Ari asked behind him. "You are looking straight at it."

Merlin was shocked. There were no electric lights as far as the eye could see, so, adding what he had experienced until then, as much as his rational mind rebelled against the idea, he knew in his heart he was no longer in the 21st century. 

He jumped when he felt a hand near his waist. He turned around to Ari. “Hey what are you trying to do?”

“I'll get my cloak loose to cover you. You're shivering.”

“Thank you, but I'm fine, really.”

Ari leaned forward to whisper in his ear. “You're shaking so hard it's making my teeth rattle. The cloak’ll keep us both warm a bit, but I can’t do it one-handed. Can you reach?”

Merlin felt really cold indeed. He didn’t know if it was for the weather or the life changing realisation that somehow he travelled through time. Therefore he did as Ari asked, and pulled the sides of the cloak towards him, wrapping himself and Ari up like a sort of burrito. It was actually warmer.

“Don't want you to freeze before sunup.”

“Sunup? You mean we'll be riding all night?” He asked shaking.

“All night.” Ari confirmed with a smirk. “And the next one too, I reckon. A fine time of year for a ride, though.”

Merlin rolled his eyes and said what he wanted to say for the past hours.

“Fuck”

***

Morning came and they were still ridding only God knew where to. Merlin was tired, his legs hurt, and didn't let him start with his ass. He squirmed in his seat.

"Is there something wrong with you?” Ari asked.

“I've been on a horse all night.”

“Is your little bottom sore?”

“Yes. It's not as fat as yours.”

Ari laughed aloud. “You know, you've got a lot of nerve for a wimp.”

Merlin scoffed, but he was having fun. Ridding so closely for so long creates a certain level of intimacy between two people. “I may be a wimp, but at least I'm not a dollophead.”

"Please, oh great one, describe a dollophead” 

Before Merlin could come up with a sassy reply, bandits came out of nowhere, running toward them with their swords drawn.

Ari quickly removed the sling and, not so delicately, pushed Merlin off the horse, shouting, "Hide yourself!" 

Merlin rolled under a bush and looked terrified as his companions drew their weapons and charged at the enemy.

He didn't waste time and took this opportunity to escape. He ran.

Not knowing where he was exactly, he decided to follow the river toward the cave where he met those men, in the hope to be able to remember how to reach the Tor from there.  
After running for a few minutes, he heard a horse stopping near him.

"Did you get lost?"

Merlin winced while he watched Ari jump off the horse and come to him. He noticed his sword was covered in blood, his shoulder as well, and a part of his face and hair too.

"You shouldn’t have used that shoulder like that so soon. You are hurt"

Ari looked at said shoulder and smirked while returning his intense blue eyes to Merlin.

"This is not my blood. At least not all of it." 

He came closer and Merlin was looking at him as if he was a dangerous animal. He tried to run, but Ari blocked the way easily, and kept looking at him without blinking. Merlin realised Ari as well was studying his every move. Like prey and hunter.

"Agravaine and the others are waiting for us. We should go" Ari’s eyes said that was not a suggestion. 

Merlin bit his lower lip and tried to run again; again he was stopped.

"I am not coming with you!"

"Yes, you are!" Ari pointed his sword right toward him.

Merlin scoffed with fake courage. "Or what! Are you going to cut my throat if I don't?"

"Why not?" He stepped closer. "Although, you don't look that heavy. If you don't want to walk, I'll pick you up and throw you over my shoulder." He said grabbing Merlin by the elbow and dragging him to him. Their faces were so close and Ari never stopped staring into his eyes, as if he was looking at his soul. "Do you want me to that?" He challenged.

Merlin looked at him right in the eyes. He knew he couldn't do much more than that, since he was in front of a warrior, bigger than him, and with a sharp weapon. And if he had to be honest, Ari was particularly scary now that he was covered in blood and dirt. Somehow his eyes seemed brighter. He looked a bit like a demon. However, Merlin may have been an idiot, but he definitely wasn't a coward, and didn't like bullies.

Therefore he made sure to never look away from Ari's eyes, and to look at him severely, to the point of almost snarling when he said, "No" to his question about being put over his shoulder.

Ari smirked, almost smiled, obviously fascinated by Merlin’s strong will. He looked up and down at his face. "Good. I suppose that means you are coming with me."

Merlin scoffed and went to the horse, all the while murmuring, "Stupid Dollophead".

Before Ari got on the horse as well, Merlin watched as he bent down to collect some mud and spread it on his hair, making it brown like usual. Merlin had indeed noticed that the colour was fake and saw some blond locks on Ari’s head in the light of the day. Now he was curious to find out the reason why someone would want to hide their real hair colour.

They joined the rest of the group, who was unharmed by the attack. Merlin was happy.

Ari wrapped his cloak around both of them and took the reins. Merlin swore that this time he felt Ari's arms tighter around him.

***

It was night, and their were still ridding, at a slower rhythm. Merlin felt the sensation of a burden dragging him down. He looked behind and saw that Ari was unconscious and therefore was about to fall from the horse.

"Help. Stop. Help me. He's going over.” He shouted to the group.

He tried to keep Ari up, but he was too heavy and fell to the ground.

Everyone stopped and dismounted. Merlin and Leon ran to assist Ari.

"Lay him down, Leon, please. I need to check him up."  
He uncovered his injured shoulder and found a more recent cut, most likely done by a sword.

"The bastard wounded himself. He lost a lot of blood, but it’s not too bad. I need to clean the wound, before it gets infected."

"Infected?" Elyan asked, not knowing that word. 

Merlin huffed, "I need iodine." Blank faces. "Merthiolate?" Blank faces. Exasperated he asked, "Alcohol?" 

"Oh yes, I always have some with me" Gwaine said, passing a flask to Merlin, who smelled it. Whisky. Perfect. 

He drank a little bit, ignoring Gwaine’s protests. He had no idea what kind of couple of days Merlin was having. Then Merlin poured some on Ari's wound, causing him to wake up immediately with a shout due to the burning.

"Shit!!"

Merlin smiled slyly, "Welcome back"

"I am fine, just a bit dizzy"

"No, you are not fine. Can you tell how bad you were bleeding? You're lucky you're not dead. Brawling and fighting and throwing yourself off horses.” Merlin told him off, not noticing the intense gaze from Ari, who couldn’t take his eyes off him. “Right, I need a sterile bandage and some clean cloth.”

Noticing no one was moving and understanding him, he swore and ripped his shirt and used it to clean and dress the wound. 

“And if you move so much as a single muscle while I'm tying this bandage, I will bloody throttle you.”

The men gasped, expecting Ari to attack the younger boy for threatening him. However, to their surprise, Ari just threw his head back and laughed. 

Agravaine stepped forward, “That’s enough. We still have a long way to go. Finish dressing that wound, and then let’s go”

Merlin was indignant, “He needs rest”

“Mordred” Ari said.

Merlin turned to him.

“The man you met. He won't give up so easily. He commands the Queen’s army hereabouts. He'll have sent patrols out in every direction by now. I can’t stay here long.”

Merlin kept working on the bandage. “You know Mordred?”

“Yes. I won't risk you or anyone else being taken prisoner by that man. If you cannot fix me up well enough to ride, leave me here with a sharp sword, so I can determine my own fate.”

Merlin looked at him for a moment in silence, impressed by his spirit. “Might've well told me you were hurt before you fell off the horse.”

Ari smirked, “Didn't hurt much at the time.”

Here was the arrogant bastard back. 

“Does it hurt now?” 

Ari smiled cheeky at him, “Yes”

Merlin smiled in return at that, “Good.”

Ari chuckled and smiled sweetly at him.

Merlin finished the dressing and stood up. Before he could change his mind, he offered a hand to Ari, who looked at it for a second before grabbing it. Merlin pulled him up on his feet.

“Thank you…ehm…” Ari laughed, and shook his head. “…you know, you have already saved my life twice, and I still don’t know your name. In my mind I have just been calling you _idiot_ ”

“Thanks” Merlin said sarcastically. “My name is Merlin Emerson”

Ari smiled. “Nice to meet you, Merlin. I am Arth…” He coughed, “…I mean, Ari De Bois”

They looked at each other for while, smiling all the time. Then someone coughed, it was Gwaine, and they interrupted the connection, realising only then that they were still holding hands. They let go.

Merlin turned towards the horse, smiling, “All right, well, on your horse, dollophead.”

***

The next day they reached a castle, located on a cliff facing the sea. Merlin had noticed the change of smell in the air. From the fresh penetrating smell of the forests to the saltiness of the sea.

“Where are we?”  
  
“Tintangel Castle” Ari answered behind him.

Merlin gulped. In the past few days he had travelled through time, had been assaulted, threatened, kidnapped, and nearly raped.

And somehow, he knew that his journey had only just begun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lots of quotes from Outlander.
> 
> And well, obviously Ari is Arthur. Why there is so much secrecy will be revealed in the future chapters.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I deeply apologise for the wait. This lockdown is making me lazier than ever.

Do you know when in your dreams you stand in a familiar place but you don't actually know where you are? And in that moment you feel like drowning, the sounds around you are deaf and everything around you moves slowly. Everything is real but doesn't feel so at the same time.

That's how Merlin felt when he got off the horse in what he thought was the castle courtyard. Strangely, what kept him grounded in that reality was not the multitude of men and women coming out of the Castle to greet the returning warriors, but the strong sound of the sea waves crashing repeatedly against the rocks creating the cliff where the castle stood.

Merlin looked around, disorientated, almost unable to breath. He felt like screaming for someone to help him.

"Hey Merlin. What are you waiting for?" Ari called him. 

He turned to the injured warrior, who was looking at him with a lifted eyebrow.

Merlin frowned. "I don't know where to go" 

Ari smiled. "Well, don't worry, you'll find your place. For now, just follow me. I'm afraid my shoulder still needs your assistance. The physician is not here at the moment."

Merlin scoffed. "Now you asked for help?"

Ari shrugged, smirking. "I'm scared you may tell me off again. You can be scary for a twig"

"While you can be very annoying for a dollophead" He said while following the laughing knight through long corridors. On the way Ari asked a passing servant to bring hot water and bandages to his room, and Merlin added some herbs to the request with a smile, that made the girl blush. Ari shook his head.

Then they reach what Merlin found out being Ari's room. It was very spartan and with no personal touch. Just a bed with furs on it, a long table and a fireplace.

"I don't need more than this" Ari said, noticing Merlin's expression at seeing his humble room. "After all this is not my home"

Before more could be said, the maid came in with the requested items. She placed the pot of hot water in the fire place and the herbs on the table and left after bowing. Ari sat on the bench in front of the fire place and removed his chainmail and shirt, leaving his chest bare. In the meantime Merlin added the garlic and witch hazel and the clean bandages to the hot water.

"So, how come this is not your home?" The brunet asked to fill in the silence.

"Well, I was born here, because this is my Mother's home, but I was raised since then in my father's Kingdom, far from here. That's my home."

"So what's are you doing here?" Now Merlin was curious.

There was a moment of silence, as if Ari was trying to decide whether he could trust him with this information.

Merlin let him think, busying himself with the cleaning of the wounds.

"My father was an important man, and I was the heir of all that was his"

Merlin nodded in silence, already guessing that Ari was someone raised with privileges. He was an arrogant ass after all, Merlin smiled to himself. 

"But my half-sister had other ideas. She thought that my father’s possessions were hers by birthright. She attacked our castle with an army of sorcerers. She killed our father in cold blood and was about to execute me as well if it was not for my men that help me escape. I have a bounty on my head since then."

"Sorcerers?" Merlin asked confused, from behind him. 

"Yes, magic users. They are evil corrupted monsters. My father tried to eliminate them for twenty years before his death, in order to purify these lands from that filth that is magic. But something that no one could predict happened. His own daughter chose to practice that evil and, like everyone else, got corrupted and thirsty for power."

"Magic doesn't exist" Merlin said right away. 

Ari frowned. "As much as I wish it was true, unfortunately, it does. You saw it. You met Mordred after all."

"Mordred? Is he a sorcerer??"

"Yeah, one of the worst ones. He is unbelievably powerful and cruel, and he is the Queen's favourite, since he is her nephew."

Merlin then remembered his meeting with Mordred near the river. He remembered golden eyes. He shivered. Where the hell did he end up to?

Ari continued, allowing Merlin to have a small panic attack in peace.

"After my sister took over, my men and I came here..." 

"Because your mother is here I suppose" Merlin guessed. 

" ... my mother is long dead. This castle belongs to her older brothers: Tristan, the Duke of Cornwall, and Agravaine, his military chief."

"Agravaine is your uncle? You don't look alike at all." Merlin meant it both physically and regarding their personalities. Agravaine was a snake, Merlin could feel it in his bones he was someone not to be trusted. Ari on the other hand was a dollophead, but a good one. 

Ari smiled, knowing what Merlin meant, but decided only to address the most obvious differences between him and his uncle. "I took my colouring from my mother."

"So you are hiding from your sister? Why can't you ask help from the Sovereign of the Kingdom where your father’s lands are? Shouldn't the King/Queen be able to settle this matter?"

Ari's eyes clouded over. "Those lands are ruled by the Queen. She won't help me. She is fond of my sister and hated my father. She has magic. She is a real monster." 

"But..."

"Please, don't. I have already said too much. If I tell you more you'll be in danger and I'd hate myself if something were to happen to you"

That stopped Merlin on the spot. He lifted his head to look at the other man. Ari was staring at him without blinking, intensely. His sky blue eyes were piercing his own. 

"Why did you say that?" Merlin's voice was rough.

Ari stared at him for a few seconds more, then he smiled and shook his head. "Nothing, just saying... So tell me something about you, since you know so much about me already. What were you doing when we found you?"

Merlin had prepared for this since he understood in which situation he was in. Once Alex told him that the best lie is the one nearest to the truth.

"I am originally from Wales, but I have been away for a long time from home, where my husband was. Therefore, when I came back, my husband and I decided to go somewhere just the two of us, you know, to reconnect... we chose Glastonbury due to its beauty. My husband knows the area since he is a merchant. We were not far from the big lake when bandits attacked us. I am not sure what happened but we got separated. I got lost and ended up in Mordred's path."

"And your husband?"

Merlin couldn't help himself. Thinking about Alex all of sudden the gravity of the situation finally catched up to him. What was Alex going through? His husband disappears without a trace, without a word, without explanation. Fears would prey on him. Perhaps he thought he was abducted. Perhaps dead. Perhaps, worst of all, he had left him for another man. He started to sob out of control, heavy tears running down his cheeks. He felt the need to sit down.

Ari's eyes widened in surprise, obviously not expecting such a strong reaction. Hesitant, he asked, "Are you afraid he didn't make it?"

Merlin tried to put himself together. He couldn't forget he still was in a foreign world where he could count only on himself to survive.

"The last I saw of him, he was covered in blood... I...” He took a deep breath. " ... I feel like he is not in this life" He burst into tears, hiccuping.

Ari slowly sat next to him on the bench. Delicately, he took the crying brunet in his strong arms, cradling him as if he was a baby. Merlin leaned his tired head on Ari's shoulder, feeling warm and safe for the first time in days. He felt a hand caressing his hair slowly.

"Sh, don't cry. Everything will be all right"

Merlin lifted his head and looked at his face. Ari's voice had been so gentle and soothing. He felt better.

The two of them were staring into each other's eyes, and Merlin could see Ari slowly leaning in. For some reason he felt like mirroring his movements, like under hypnosis. Their faces were so close. But the feeling of Ari's warm breath so close to his lips woke him up, and Merlin stood up suddenly, putting some distance between the two of them.

"I'm sorry"

Ari said nothing; then he stood up as well and got near the distressed brunet.

"You don't need to be scared of me, nor of anyone here, so long as I'm with you."

Merlin looked at him intensely. "And when you are not with me?"

Ari smiled sweetly, squeezing his arm.

"You need to rest. You can stay in my room for a few days. It's too late to prepare you one." At seeing Merlin's wide eyes, he laughed. "I will sleep in the barn"

"But this is your room..."

"And you need it more than me. Besides, I always have to get up early to tend to the horses"

"All right. Thanks"

Ari smiled. "I should thank you, for taking care of my scratches. Goodnight."

"Night"

Finally Merlin laid down in bed and fell asleep right away.

***

The very next morning, Merlin was abruptly woken up by someone opening the curtains, causing the sun rays to hit his face.

"What?" He asked disoriented.

"It's time to get up! The Duke wishes to see you. You need to get dress"

The voice belonged to a lovely young maid with mocha skin, wearing a nice lilac dress.

"Who are you?"

“I'm Guinevere, but most people call me Gwen. Arth… I mean, Ari asked me to help you this morning. As I mentioned, the Duke and Lord of this castle, Tristan De Bois, wants to meet you."

"Nice to meet you, Gwen. I am..."

"I know who you are. Everyone does. You are Merlin, the outlander our men found lost in the woods. Elyan is my brother. He told me everything."

"I didn't know I was famous..."

She blushed. "Well, these are difficult times, and we don't see strangers as a good sign, but you look like a nice guy. Even though your clothes are weird and dirty."

"Well, you try to keep them clean while riding for days in the wild with a bunch of rugged men that I doubt ever hear the word _washing_ ”

She laughed, "You are definitely talking about Gwaine" 

He laughed in return remembering the warrior with beautiful long hair. "Yeah, him"

The two of them started chatting as if they had been friends all their lives, while Gwen helped him into his new clothes: lousy brown trousers, a long blue shirt, a leather belt around his waist, a light brown jacket and a red kerchief around his neck.

_I look strange_ , he told himself while looking at his reflection in the mirror. But he had to play his part, survive, until he found a way back to Alex. Even though he didn't know how.

Gwen showed him the way to the council room, where the duke alone was waiting for him.

The Duke of Cornwall was indeed the older version of Ari, same strong jawline and penetrating blue eyes. His hair was dirty blond.

Merlin saw enough historical movies to guess he had to bow to the Lord of the Castle.

"Please, come and sit here in front of me, boy. I have some questions for you."

"Yes, my Lord. And thank you for your hospitality."

As expected Tristan asked him how he ended up where his men found him, and what he was doing in the company of someone as evil as Mordred. His eyes were cold, penetrating his own like ice. Merlin for his part kept a calm appearance that surprised him as well. He had to be sure of himself and convincing. He actually concentrated on Tristan's eyes to keep himself grounded. They were the same eyes of Ari.

He told him the same story he told his nephew, stating he got lost after being forcefully separated by his husband Alex, that meeting Mordred had been an unfortunate coincidence and that he was eager to return to Glastonbury and its whereabouts to try and look for his husband, who, he remembered, was badly injured last time he saw him.

The Lord nodded and asked questions in the right moments, and seemed like believing him when he finished the tale.

"What happened to you and your husband was very unfortunate"

Merlin nodded. “It was and I could never thank your men enough for saving me. I'll never forget this. I would like your permission to travel to Glastonbury as soon as possible."

"One of my merchants needs to go in that area tomorrow morning. He can give you a ride"

Merlin smiled openly. "Oh thank you, my Lord. That would be great”

Tristan returned the simile. "It's the least I can do. You saved my nephew's life. That boy is very dear to me.” He stood up and shook his hand. "Good Luck for your journey, Merlin."

Merlin spent the rest of the day smiling, while exploring most of the Castle. Now that he knew he was about to leave, he found himself doing his best to see as much as possible of this period. It didn't happen everyday you could stay in a real and functional medieval caste. Alex would be so jealous if he could see him.

Thinking about Alex made Merlin stop during his tour of the kitchens. He actually didn't know how to return to his time. However, his best shot was to look around the lake and see if there were traces to help him.

He left the kitchen slightly sadder and interrupted the tour. He only left the Physician's out. He went to sit on the highest tower, overlooking the sea. The sound of the waves worked like a balm to his confused and scared soul.

***

Later that evening he found himself in the Great Hall, where a small feast was taking place. 

He had all the intentions to just sleep that night and rest for the next day, but he met Gwen in the corridor leading to his room that happily inform him of the party and that he should participate, to have some fan after his misadventures.

That's why he was here now, and he was happy to. In the corners there were minstrels playing music and juggling. Wooden tables were filled with great food. Servants, including Gwen, walked around pouring wine to the many people standing and chatting in the Hall.

Gwen saw him and filled his goblet of red wine with a smile.

"Here. Go and have fun, but stay away from Gwaine. He is a flirty drunk."

Merlin laughed and thanked her. He walked around the Room, trying to blend in, however the untrustworthy looks from the other guests, who obviously were not pleased with the presence of an outlander in their mists, made him feel unwelcome. So he just lead against a pillar in the corner and sipped his wide in solitude.

He noticed with curiosity how when night fell the servants took chairs and benches in the room for the guests to sit in, while a bard took a seat in front of the audience, a small harp in his hands.

He saw Ari making his way through the crowd toward him, a big smile on his face when their eyes met.

"Merlin! Good evening" He said when he stopped in front of him.

"Hi, Ari” He smiled in returned.

"What are you doing in the darkness looking at nothing?"

“I'm like a swan. It seems like I'm not doing anything, but there's a lot of work going on underneath.”

The other man, whose hair Merlin noticed had been dyed again brown, looked at him as if he had never seen someone more weird than him. He most likely had not. “Hm. Interesting. I see you more as a head louse.”

“Right...”

“Useless. Irritating…”

“I still see you as a dollophead on the other hand…arrogant, a pompous ass”

Ari threw his head back, laughing, causing people to turn to them in curiosity. “I swear Merlin, one day, you will find out that you really cannot address me like that…”

“But until then…”

Ari chuckled. “Come on. Let’s sit down. I saved you a seat”

He grabbed Merlin’s hand and dragged him to a couple of seats in the third row. The bard had already started singing in a language unknown to the brunet. It was probably Cornish. He felt Ari’s breath near his ear.

“He is singing of a young maiden, who after a fight with her beloved, ran into the forest, and stopped at a lake covered with mists and a hill at his core. The maiden couldn’t help herself, she was complicated enchanted by the energy of the lake, and stepped into the water, and no one saw her ever again. Her beloved cried for her until the day he died, and his spirit did for thousands of years more after the death of his body, never stopping looking for her and hoping his love would come back to him”

Merlin was panting, feeling a déjà vu at hearing the translation of the bard’s song. He turned to Ari, who was looking at him intensely. “Where did she go?”

“No one knows. There are those who say the Lake is a gate to another world; others that fairies took her and made her their slave; and others that she just drowned”

Merlin felt numb after this. He knew deep in his heart the song spoke about his same lake, that, as if a portal was opened, brought him here. In that case, his only chance to go back home was to enter the lake again, and hope not to drown. 

So concentrated in his plan, Merlin slightly jumped when Ari took his hand once again.

“Do you mind having a look at my shoulder? It had been bothering me all evening”

“What, now?”

“Yes”

Merlin wanted to know more about the lake, but his ethic forbidden him from abandoning a patience of his in pain.

“Sure, let’s go to my room”

They walked to his temporary room, which was Ari’s, but the boy didn’t seem to mind, and Merlin knew he would leave soon, so he didn’t feel guilty about stealing his room.

They stood next to each other in front of the lighted fireplace.

“Let’s have a look here” The doctor said as he moved Ari’s shirt aside so to expose his shoulder. He leaned forward, alining his body with Ari’s, and looked at it for a moment, touching it. “The wound is healing fine. There is no pus or anything. The skin is closing itself on it so it’s stretching, making it very uncomfortable. That’s what’s bothering you. I’ll give you a balm to make it softer, and to ease the discomfort. Try not to scratch it, as tempting as it may be”

He noticed the long silence and looked up, coming face to face with the most intense gaze he had ever received. Ari’s eyes were half-closed and staring at him, not blinking. His expression was serious, taking in every movement of Merlin’s body.

The brunet swallowed, and licked his lips, nervous, and immediately noticed Ari’s eyes dilated while focusing all his attention towards his lips. Merlin’s heart was beating like crazy in his chest. It was almost painful.

Cough. “Do you understand?” His voice was rough. The question came out more like a whisper than anything else.

Ari lifted a corner of his mouth, and leaned in to softly rub his cheek against Merlin’s; the touch delicate like a feather. He stood back to look at him. “Understood. But I can be very rascal, so I think I will need your help again in the coming days”

With Ari a step away from him, Merlin could finally breath again and his brain work. “I am afraid, this is all I can do for you. I am leaving tomorrow”

It was impossible to ignore Ari’s crestfallen expression when he announced it. He was frowning in disappointment, sadness and hurt at the news. “Huh”

Merlin turned around with the excuse to look for the balm, when actually he couldn’t stand those sad eyes, that until that moment were filled with desire. “Mr Thompson, the fabric merchant, is travelling to Glastonbury tomorrow morning. I am going with him”

The other nodded, looking down, before forcing a smile. “Good. I am very happy for you. I don’t want to disturb you further. You need to rest” He moved to the door. “I thank you for all your help. You saved my life”

“You saved my life as well. The least I could do was making sure you would not bleed out in your sleep”

Ari chuckled. “We have been a very good team. Good luck, Merlin. I am sure you will find your husband. He is a lucky man, to have someone like you by his side, with such a gentle touch and soul”

He opened the door ready to leave.

“Ari?”

“Yes”

“…everything will be all right, you know” Merlin didn’t know why he felt the need to say that.

Ari answered him with another sad smile. “I am not so sure anymore” And left.

Sighting, Merlin laid down on the bed and soon fell asleep with a heavy heart.

***

The next morning, with the sun barely up, Merlin made his way to the courtyard, where Mr Thompson should be waiting for him. 

He was not there.

Frowning, he sat down in waiting, but for long minutes no one appeared. Then he heard footsteps and turned around.

“Morning Mr Thomp…”

“Thompson has already left” said the unpleasant voice of Agravaine.

“What do you mean? He was supposed to take me to Glastonbury”

“I told him there was a change of plan. Want to know something? I have always thought there was something strange about you, since the moment I laid my eyes on you” He grabbed Merlin’s chin, who immediately move his face away. “There is too much fire in your eyes, too much rebellious spirit. A spirit that must be tamed like a dog” His eyes were full of lust.

Merlin was disgusted. “Careful, my Lord. This dog bites”

Agravaine scoffed. “No doubt. However, as I was saying, since I could smell something fishy about you, I sent some of my men to Glastonbury to investigate whether what you told my brother was true. And guest what? No one there ever saw or heard of a married couple from Wales that were then attacked in the woods. And this fact confirmed my suspicions”

“Perhaps you'd be so kind as to give me a notion of your suspicions, or is that too much to ask?”

“I suspect you may be a spy.”

Merlin laughed. “A spy? Me?”

“You have no told the truth about who and what you are. Of that I'm sure. And until I am sure of you, I'll have you watched day and night. Now you know my mind.”

“This is ridiculous. You cannot keep me here!”

“You will find out that as the chief of the army and in charge of the safety of this kingdom I can”

“I am sure Tristan…”

“My brother will never believe an outlander over his own brother. But if you want, why don’t you ask him?”

Merlin followed Agravaine’s gaze to find Tristan looking at them from a window on an higher floor. As soon as he saw them looking at him, the blond duke nodded at his brother and turned around, disappearing from view.

“Shit!” Merlin said in utter frustration.

Agravaine just smirked evilly.

“So, what will you do with me? Am I to be a prisoner?” Merlin asked , trying to be brave.

“Of a sort. I will not put in the dungeons for now, because I still don’t have the proof of your treacherous behaviour. Therefore, from now on, you will be the Physician’s apprentice. Gaius is an old man and could do with a bit of help. The castle will be my eyes. Come, I will take you to him”

Pissed, Merlin had no choice but to follow.

***

They reached the physician chambers. Merlin liked their smell. Smell of herbs of every type. The room itself was full of shelves with books, dry herbs and potions. It was amazing in Merlin’s eyes.

In the middle of the room stood a old man with red robes, intended to tide up his bag.

“Gaius, welcome back. Was your journey a success?”

“My Lord. The illness was nothing too grave. I found a cure and everyone in the village is now safe”

“Good good” Agravaine dismissed, and turned to Merlin. “This is Merlin. He will be your new assistant. You need one, right?”

Gaius’s lips tightened in displeasure, but he knew better than disagreeing with the Lord. “Indeed”

“Great. I’ll leave you two to know each other”

He left, leaving the two men in silence to study each other. Merlin could see the old man was not happy with this situation. Well, at least, that was something they had in common.

“If it makes you feel any better, I was forced to be here, so…”

Gaius kept staring at him with a lifted eyebrow for a while. “It does make me feel better actually” He sighed. “Well, there is nothing we can do now. Agravaine is not someone to cross… he is…”

“An ass? A rude, pompous bastard?”

Gaius smiled, “I was about to say strong willing man, but your description is definitely more fitting”

The two men smiled at each other, finally relaxing. 

Merlin stepped forward and shook the other’s hand. “Nice to meet, Gaius.”

“Nice to meet you, Merlin”

Gaius lifted Merlin’s hand and studied it. 

“Well, at least, I can smell you used herbs once in awhile in your young life, and I can see you are a hard worker. Two qualities I am fond of. Come. Let me show you your room and how I work, and what I expect from you”

The two talked until late in the evening, getting to know each other both in a personal and professional way. Merlin found Gaius a genius in his approach to science, considering the era, and Gaius found Merlin a bright young man, with a good heart and a clever mind. He was particularly fascinating by his strange techniques when dealing with surgery, especially since he always tried to cover his mouth and hands before touching an open wound. 

Before realising it, it was night and Gaius suggested it was time to go to sleep. 

Merlin went to his little and cosy room at the end of the laboratory with a light heart, loving the old physician and his new job, but Gaius stopped him.

“Before you go, my boy, can I suggest something?”

Merlin frowned, “Of course”

“I think you should take off your wedding ring”

“What? Why?”

“My boy, have you seen how most of the people that visited us today were eyeing it? That’s because it’s made of gold, very precious. These are dark times. The wars with the Queen have caused poverty to thrive, and a little object like that could feed a family for weeks. That’s why I think you should keep it hide, before someone does something stupid and painful in order to steal it from you”

Merlin understood what Gaius meant, and he was right. Nonetheless he felt like he was betraying his husband when he took it off. That ring, made of gold shaped in Celtic knots with an amber stone in the middle surrounded by little diamonds, had been with him for years, even before their marriage. He never tried to take it off, especially because Alex always got angry if he tried. It was the symbol of their love, a comfort during their separation. That was also why he didn’t want for someone to take it away from him.

He kissed the amber stone, whispering, “I love you, Alex. I will do all I can to come back to you. I promise” Then he put it in a small wooden chest.

“One of the floorboards under your bed moves. You can put it there”

Merlin nodded, ready to cry. “Thank you, Gaius. Good night”

The young boy fell asleep on his bed with his face still wet with tears.

That night, Merlin dreamt of dragons. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I deeply apologise for the wait.
> 
> In this chapter is useful to know how I have imagined the division of the Main two kingdoms. 
> 
> \- the De Bois Kingdom is current Cornwall and they speak Cornish and English and the capital is Tintagel.
> 
> -Camelot Kingdom is current Wales. They speak Welsh and English and the capital city is Camelot.  
> Therefore for this time, Merlin is Camelotian since he is born Welsh.
> 
> Lots of quotes from Outlander

Deep blue eyes opened as soon as they were hit by the first ray of dawn. Their owner sat up, intent on regaining self-awareness. 

He had dreamed deeply and intensely. This was certain. But the mental haze of the awakening was already doing its job and despite his best efforts, he soon forgot what he had dreamed of.

He snorts a little in frustrated, but then sighed in resignation. Whatever it was, it had given him one of the best sleeps ever. He hadn't slept so well in years. He felt light and filled with a strange energy, which he could feel throbbing in his veins, like a raging river after a storm.

With this new strength in his body, he jumped up, dressed, and joined his colleague in the main room of the laboratory.

"Good morning, Merlin. Did you sleep well?"

"Good morning, Gaius. Never slept better actually”

The old man chuckled. "I'm happy. You looked very tired yesterday."

"They have been very intense few days to say the least"

Gaius nodded. "It's understandable. Come on, sit down. Breakfast is ready."

_Breakfast_ was a soggy porridge that Merlin couldn't help but look upon with suspicion. But at least there were some berries and honey on top. He began to eat them fiercely.

Gaius smiled, "I see you like it. I'll bring you some more"

He got up carelessly and bumped the jug of water with his elbow, which began to fall towards the floor.

Later, Merlin would not be able to describe how it happened. He just knew that all of a sudden he felt a sort of pressure behind his eyes and then he felt them like going on fire. What he knows for sure was that in front of him the pitcher stopped in midair, suspended, and the water that was coming out of it was like frozen.

He stared at this phenomenon with a mix of fear and wonder. It seemed like hours, but it most likely only lasted a few seconds.

He looked away when he heard a gasp from Gaius and the pitcher fell to the ground with a loud thud, water flooded onto the wood of the floor.

Both men didn't muttered a word. Merlin could hear the beating of his heart in his ears. 

What had just happened?

"Oh my boy ..." he heard Gaius whisper.

He turned to him, confused.

"Gaius..."

"How did you do that?"

"What? No ... I ..."

"You are a sorcerer! Are you crazy?"

Merlin's eyes were wide open. When he realised what Gaius was implying, he stood up, agitated. “Sorcerer? Me? What are you saying? I have no magical powers!!"

“Then how do you explain _that_?” Gaius yelled, pointing at the floor.

The young dark-haired man exhaled deeply. "It just happened."

Gaius glanced at him. "I may be old, but I'm not stupid, and definitely not blind yet! I know what I saw. And what I saw was magic! Now tell me where did you learn to do such a thing without uttering a single spell!"

Merlin was speechless for a while, "I swear to you. I don't know what you're talking about. It wasn't me!"

"Merlin, your eyes turned gold and the pitcher stopped. Now stop with your lies and tell me the truth."

"I swear. I didn't know I could do it. It was instinctive. I just thought I wanted to stop the falling pitcher and it stopped... like magic." He whispered the last part, finally fully realising what he had done. He dropped into his chair and put his hands through his hair in despair. "Oh my god. I have magic. I'm a freak... worse... I'm a monster" He was having a panic attack.

Gaius, noticing the boy's genuine desperation, finally believed his words. He sat down beside him, placing a wrinkled but strong hand on his knee for comfort. "You're not a monster, my boy. Yours is a gift. But are you sure you didn't know?"

"Super sure"

"Impossible" Gaius muttered to himself.

Merlin looked up, now more curious than frightened. "Why do you say that? From what I understand there are many people with magic. There is even a kingdom ruled by a sorceress.”

"You see, Merlin. All these sorcerers you are mentioning had to study for years to use their powers. Yet none of them, not even the Queen, a powerful witch, are able to do what you did without a spell. And here you are, in front of me, unaware of your powers and able to do the impossible. Who are you really?"

Merlin blinked, feeling cold all of a sudden. "I am just a man"

"Are you?"

The intense moment was interrupted by a guard knocking on the door and informing Gaius that the Duke was waiting for him for his daily check-up.

"Whatever the reason, you have a power and it's powerful, and you can't control it yet, which makes it dangerous, especially here, where someone like you is sentenced to death for just the crime of existing."

Merlin panicked. “You won't tell anyone, right?"

Gaius smiled softly and put a hand on his shoulder. "No. Your secret is safe with me. And I have something that might help you." He opened a secret compartment in the wall and pulled out an object covered in dark red fabric. He gave it to Merlin who immediately understood that it was a book. He opened it.

"Oh, but this is ..."

Gaius chuckled. "Yes, my first book of magic. It has helped me a lot in the past. Now I hope it’ll guide you."

"I will study every word" Merlin smiled fully towards his new but already dear friend and hugged him. "Thank you"

Another knock.

"Come on, boy, let's go to work."

***

Over the following weeks, Merlin got used to his new life in the past.

He visited patients every day and it didn't take long for him to become a much loved doctor. His knowledge of the medical techniques of the future allowed him to heal even cases that were considered desperate in this era. He tried to pass some of this knowledge to Gaius in a discreet way, like some "tricks" to avoid infections when touching a wound with either the hands or a surgical object. 

The black cloud of his days, even the most pleasant ones, was obviously Agravaine. Merlin could feel his black eyes on him constantly. And when he turned around, the Lord was always there, hoping to see him make one mistaken that would confirm him as a spy, or, to see him in a moment of intimacy, if his eyes full of lust were to be believed.

Despite the restlessness of that behaviour, Merlin was calm. He had no intention to give Agravaine anything to see.

What made his days tolerable, if not pleasant, was his beloved book of magic, with which he practiced every day, gaining considerable control; and of course his visits to Ari.

Like many other afternoons before this, Merlin walked towards the stables where Ari worked, with the calm of someone used to the hectic life of London and now was in the middle of nowhere. He had with him a basket full of bandages, ointments and some food to share with the boy.

He saw him on the other side of the horse paddock training a recently bought white mare. Merlin smiled sweetly as he watched the young man talk to the mare. Ari was speaking Cornish looking the animal in the eyes that had calmed down at that hypnotic sound, clearly happy with the caresses on the muzzle that Ari was giving her.

Always clumsy, Merlin leaned against the fence, dropping an iron bucket, which made a great noise. The mare fidgeted and reared, almost hurting Ari who let her ride in the open meadow with the other horses, where other grooms would recover her once she was calm once again.

Ari swore in the Cornish and Merlin was mortified. "I'm sorry"

Ari sighed but then a bewitching smile broke on his face. "It’s just a creature with a lot of spirit... That's always a good thing"

Merlin chuckled. “She made a number of you. Bet you can’t wait to tame her”

Ari smirked and looked at him straight in the eyes. “Oh I love a challenge…seeing a wild spirit melting under my touch…”

Merlin gulped and blushed, sensing they were not talking about horses anymore.

Ari smiled content. “What can I do for you today, Merlin?”

“I am here to do the last change of bandages and I thought you would like some food”

“Great. Follow me”

They sat on the straw in the stable, sharing a picnic once the bandage was done. Ari attacked the food right away.

“Quite the appetite. I should think you'd eat grass if there was nothing else.”

“I have. Doesn’t taste bad, but it's not very filling.”  
  
“You've actually eaten grass?”  
  
“Last winter. I was living rough, you know, in the Darkling woods with the boys after my sister’s betrayal, raiding cattle.We'd had poor luck for a week and more and no food amongst us left.”  
  
“One might ask why you were raiding cattle and living the life of a thief instead of finding a safe place to call your own”  
  
“I told you. Once I escaped execution by my sister’s order, there’s a price on my head. And once she asked the queen’s assistance there was no way I could just hide. I needed protection. So I remembered my mother’s brothers”  
  
“So I was right to think your real name's not Ari De Bois”  
  
“No. No, it's not.”  
  
“A nom de guerre, as it were.”  
  
Ari laughed, “If you like”

“And your hair colour is also different…”

“Correct. My natural hair colour is very recognisable”

“Why did you tell me all this valuable information?”  
  
“You asked.”  
  
Merlin scoffed, “That's no answer. You could have lied or told me it was none of my business.”  
  
“Well, I suppose I could have. Didn't think of that. I decided to trust you instead.”

Merlin smiled lightly, happy. “But you don’t seem to trust others in this place, just your men and me apparently.” At Ari’s confused look he specified. “I noticed you always watch behind you, as if expecting an attack, and you always have a dagger with you”

Ari smiled, impressed. “That’s true. My situation here is very dangerous. On one hand there’s Tristan, who wants me as his heir. On the other hand, there’s Agravaine, who wants power more than anything else, even more than family love. He has been coveting his brother’s title for years, since Tristan doesn’t have children, and I was supposed to be my father’s heir. And then all of sudden, here I am, trying to steal his birthright, according to him. He has been trying to kill me for awhile now”

Merlin was speechless and if possible even more disgusted by that snake of Agravaine. He wanted to tell Ari to leave this place, but at the same time understood why Ari couldn't leave. He was between two fires, since both his sister and uncle wanted him dead. But it looked like Agravaine was the lesser of the two evils.

"I see"

"Ah, don't be sorry for me, Merlin. I'll find my way out of troubles."

"But you are a noble’s son. Don’t you hate that your uncle is forcing you to work in the stables like a peasant”

“I actually don’t. I always wanted to see how it feels like to be normal, just a farmer. With no responsibilities on my shoulders… free to be who I wish to be and to be with who I wish to be” He turned to Merlin when he said the last part.

“Ari…”

"Merlin... come on, boy!"

Gaius's voice echoed in the air.

"Coming, Gaius!" He turned to the amused Ari. "I better go, before Gaius kills me for my lateness…again."

Ari laughed. “You better. Well, thank you for the bandages and..." He pointed to the empty plates.

Merlin smiled. "Next time I better bring less or we'll have to add a hole to that belt"

"Are you saying I am fat?"

"Nooo... well, not yet"

"I am fighting fit!!"

"And we want to keep you that way"

Ari's face was too much. "Merlin!!" and threw a straw at the laughing brunet, who ran toward the castle.

***

Merlin grew even more restless with each passing day.

Discretely he tried to escape once, after manipulating the wine of a feast with magic that made everyone extremely drunk, too drunk to notice much. However, Merlin didn't count on Ari not participating to the party and staying hidden in the stables for fear that Agravaine's men would attack him while encouraged by alcohol. He stopped Merlin while he was stealing a horse, pointing out it would be stupid to run since he didn't know the horse, there were extra guards all around the area and he didn't know the territory. He would definitely get lost trying to find his way to Glastonbury. Merlin felt demotivated when he realised Ari was right. He sobbed in frustration to be so unable to go back to Alex. Ari hushed him and hugged him to his chest. Then he took his hard and returned him to the castle.

One day Merlin was laying on his bed reading his magic book while animated brooms and mops were cleaning his room, when Gaius slammed the door open, causing for the magic to stop.

"Were you using magic?"

"No" Merlin lied.

Gaius looked at him in disapproval. "Well, lucky you it was me coming in."

"Sorry Gaius" Merlin grinned.

The old man sighed. "You better control your powers for the following weeks. Lord Agravaine is leaving tomorrow with a group of men to collect rents in the De Bois's territory (Cornwall) and is taking you with them"

"But why me?"

"He think it would be wise to have a healer along. And it looks like I'm too old for the job"

"Ah it' s not that, we both know it 's so he can keep an eye on me"

"Definitely. That's why you must be careful, boy"

Merlin nodded. "I will"

Another chance to go home presented itself, knowing this time he must not fail.

***

The world "rent" had definitely a different meaning in the past. Commoners could pay for staying in the De Bois's lands and have their protection not only with coins, but also with goats, bags of grain and cabbages and sometimes young daughters and sons. The journey from town to town was long and tiring, but at the same time allowed Merlin to enjoy some breathtaking landscapes and to witness traditions of a people that were long gone, forgotten by time and history.

Less pleasant was the company. His travel companions were mostly Agravaine's men, but at least Ari, Lance, Gwaine, Percy, Leon and Elyan were there too.

At the moment they were taking a break to eat and water the horses and one of Agravaine's bootlickers gave him a rotten rabbit and started to laugh about him with his friends in an impossible language for Merlin.

He wasn't offended by the lewdness of their jokes or squeamish over the fact that his dinner looked like a shrivelled Easter rabbit, nor was he too dainty to sleep on a pillow made of stone.

What troubled him was that they were clearly using Cornish to exclude him.

Merlin just had to remember his time with them would be over soon. Being on the road was his chance to escape.

"Don't worry what they're saying"

Ari kneeled in front of him and offered him bread with cheese. Merlin accepted with gratitude.

"They hate me." Merlin pointed out.

"They don't trust you. Well... Maybe uncle Agravaine hates you, but he hates everyone."

"What about you? Do you think I'm a spy for the Queen, as your uncle suspects?"

"No. But I do think there are things you're not telling us, and I know you tried to run during the last party in a very cunning way I may say. It's still on your mind, plain and clear." Ari smirked.

_Well Fuck_ Merlin thought. He needed to be better at hiding his intensions from now on.

Although this friendship with Ari and his men was making life on the road more tolerable, he could not allow it to distract him from his quest to get back to the lake and return to his own 21st-century life.

***

In their next stop, Merlin decided to take advantage of the long wait it takes to collect rent to go explore, he had enough of seeing Agravaine collecting goats from poor farmers.

His exploring was stopped by singing. He walked around a house to see a group of eight women sitting around a rectangular table while punching a wet long piece of fabric. He didn't know what they were singing. He couldn't understand the words, but by now he was quite sure it was Cornish.

"Something I can do for you, mister?" A tall old lady asked, approaching him from behind.

"I was just curious. I've never heard singing quite like that before."

"Ah, I see. This's a waulking song. We're waulking wool."

“I'm Merlin"

“I'm DoIma.”

"I came with the De Bois party., and since the men are all busy with the rent, I found myself rather idle."

Dolma laughed. "Well, we'll see about that. Do you have strong hands, boy?"

Merlin lifted an eyebrow and smiled. "I do, madam."

"Good, then you can join us" She grabbed his arm and dragged him to the table. All the ladies turned to him. "Ladies, this is Merlin. He's going to be helping us today."

"Hello, all."

They were looking at him intensely, probably asking themselves why a man wanted to join them in this task that was typically done by women.

He waited patiently for what he knew was coming. And there it was. The spark of recognition in their eyes. They now knew he was a _carrier_. A man able to carry and birth children.

It was still unknown how people were able to distinguish a male carrier from a no-carrier only after a few seconds. Some says it's because carriers have a more feminine body, with gentle curves, wide hips and small tits. Others say that carriers seem to possess a delicate but unique smell set to allow potential partners to recognise them and let them know they could have their babies. Whatever it was, a carrier was seen by women as one of them, so Merlin was not surprise that now the ladies were smiling and greeting him warmly.

He and Dolma stepped forward, and Merlin was shocked by the very familiar strong smell.

"Ugh, that's pungent... is that..?"

"Yes, boy, it's hot piss. Sets the dye fast." Dolma pointed out and smiled impressed when the boy sat down with no hesitation and went to work.

After a good hour of work where Merlin became friend with all of his coworkers, giving them medical advices, Merlin and the ladies sat in one of the houses to rest.

"Here's some refreshment, boy. You've earned it." Dolma passed him a glass.

"Thank you."

All the ladies lifted their glasses and said a word in Cornish to toast.

Merlin did the same but actually said,"Bottoms up" causing the women to look at him strange, but by now they were used to the strange behaviour of their nice new friend.

Merlin drank and gasped. “Oh, my god, that's got a kick to it."

All laughed nodding and Dolma said, “It's our little secret. Not a word to the menfolk."

"My lips are sealed" And drank with gusto.

Then once of the infants woke up crying.

"Did we wake the little one?"

"He's hungry, that's all." His mother said. “He's teething and won't nurse. My husband had to give away our goat to Lord Agravaine this morning, so we haven't any milk."

"Doesn't seem very fair." Merlin frowned.

"Where are you off to next, boy?" Dolma asked.

"Uh, I'm not sure exactly. But tell me, have you ever heard of the lake around a hill topped by a chapel near Glastonbury?"

"Oh yes, where the fairies live." Edith said.

All the others hushed her, reminding her that all mentions of magic was banned on the pain of death.

"Well, I 'd like to go there. Is it nearby?" Merlin asked.

"Oh, about three days as the crow flies I'd say." One said.

Before he could asked more, Dolma stood up, “All right, back to work, ladies and gentleman. We're going to need a fresh bucket."

Merlin gasped at the implication. “You mean now?"

They laughed. "What do you think the tipple's for?"

Merlin laughed too, “All righty, then." He finished his drink and stood up. “Geronimo."

He slightly lowered his trousers over the bucket but before he could release, the door was slammed open, and Sir Kay, one of Agravaine's men and Merlin's "bodyguard", entered.

"Oh, shit. I've been looking everywhere for you!" He was not happy.

"I've been right here." Merlin sighed.

"What the hell are you doing??" He noticed his position.

Merlin stood away from the bucket, “We were waulking wool."

“Right! We're going."

"But we haven't finished."

"Yes, you have. Disappearing under my nose. The Lord is not happy about it." He took Merlin's arm and forcefully started to drag him away.

"I was only over there. What's the problem?"

"You've been drinking, and you smell like piss."

"Well, that's the pot calling the kettle back."

"Fine. Next time, I'll tie you to the horse."

"Get your hands off me!" Merlin shouted and freed himself. He grabbed one of the goat and tried to storm off back toward the houses.

"Hey, hey, where do you think you're taking that?" Kay screamed, running after him.

"Back to her owner. The family needs her."

"The goat's ours. We're taking her with us." Said Agravaine's cold voice.

Merlin turned to him with eyes full of hate. “The hell you are."

"That's goods and chattels has to be accounted for. You'll be giving me the goat!"

"No!! Their children are hungry!"

"The beast is payment for rent, fair and square." Agravaine was emotionless.

"So you'd let a child starve?" Merlin asked in disbelief.

Agravaine smirked and signed to his men to take the goat. They forcefully did. He kept looking at Merlin with a evil smirk. "The goat goes with us, as every beast should."

Before Ari, who was approaching the scene who knew whether to protect Merlin or to stop him from killing Agravaine, could do anything, a man stepped forward and asked Merlin, "Sir, is everything all right?"

"I'm sorry?" Merlin asked confused to the strangers. He had a light Welsh accent.

"May I be of service?"

"You'll keep your nose out of our business." Agravaine said before Merlin could open his mouth.

"I was speaking to the gentleman"

"The gentleman is a guest of the De Bois."

"Do you treat all your guests this way?"

"Bugger off. Go home to your mommy, boy, before I kill you. Come on, men, we’re leaving."

Merlin had to go along. He had no choice. The air was now even more tense in the group. Thankfully Ari’s men seemed to still be friendly with him.

It felt as if Agravaine could read his mind like he was daring him to run. He had brought Merlin along on this trip to watched him, also because he earned his respect as a healer, and at least some measure of trust. But now Merlin could see that small trust slipping away, and with it, his dream of escape.

***

The days passed ablur, turning into weeks. They visited village after village, and Merlin’s feeling of helplessness growing. He felt trapped. Would he have to reconcile himself to live the rest of his life amongst strangers, in the past?

One day they had to stay hide in the bushes as men dressed in black patrolled the area. Merlin was told they were called _the Watch_ , soldiers of the Queen sent to the borders of her enemy kingdoms to use force to convert the people to her, to become sorcerers. This part of the kingdom was very dangerous therefore.

Even though it was still Cornwall, hence ruled by the De Bois, it was regularly breeched by the enemy.

Merlin obviously asked why Tristan wasn’t doing anything to protect these areas of his kingdom, and why they were hiding now instead of fighting.

The reason was that in truth the De Bois didn’t have enough soldiers to send this far away from the castle to contrast the Queen’s sorcerers. Therefore Tristan and Agravaine had chosen to use the army to protect the area nearest to Tintagel, the capital city of the kingdom, and leave the citizens of the borders to fend for themselves.

Merlin was speechless. He felt the need to to something to help as he saw the Watch setting a house on fire. He knew he couldn’t use his magic openly, too risky given the company, however that didn’t stop him from lowering his face to hide his golden eyes and whisper a spell that protected the family inside the house from the fire. The Watch had left and the family could get out unharmed, watching their home collapsing. But at least they were alive.

While the group prepared the horses to proceed, Merlin noticed that Ari was not with them.

“Where’s Ari?”

“Oh, he's making himself scarce. He has a price on his head, remember. The Watch would turn him over in a minute” Gwaine explained.

That night they decided to sleep for once in an Inn loyal to the De Bois and on the opposite direction of where the Watch went instead of on the floor in the woods.

Given the tension between Merlin and Agravaine’s men, in order to avoid issues, since some men had mention that the only way to shut a whore like Merlin up was to rape him and put a bastard in him, Merlin was given a single room, while the men slept in a common room downstairs. All saved Agravaine of course. The Lord was sleeping in a private room on the top floor.

Merlin was trying to sleep, but he kept hearing noises from outside his door. Scared it was one of the men threatening to rape him, he slowly stood up from the bed and approached the door with a candelabra in one hand and the other raised, ready to use magic.

He opened the door and stepped forward, tripping on something, or better someone on the floor.

“What on Earth! What are you doing sneaking around outside my door?”

Ari stood up, “I wasn't sneaking about. I was sleeping or trying to.”

Merlin frowned. “Sleeping here? Why?”

Ari looked down. “The taproom's full of townsmen half gone with drink. Our men as well. I was worried some of them might venture up here in search of... well...I didn't think you'd appreciate such attentions.”

Merlin’s heart was beating faster with gratitude. “After the last few days, I doubt any of them are feeling very kindly towards me.” He chuckled. “I'm sorry I stepped on you. You're very kind. Oh, You can't sleep out here. It’s freezing and it’s dirty. At least come into the room. It's warmer.”

Ari’s eyes widened scandalised, “Sleep in your room with you? I couldn't do that. Your reputation would be ruined.”

Merlin laughed, “My reputation?” He had forgotten how old fashion this period was. Carriers were treated as they were women. “You've slept under the stars with me before, you and ten other men.”

Ari blushed. “That isn't the same thing at all.”

Merlin murmured _prat_ but said aloud, “Well, at least let me give you the blanket off my bed. Or is that too scandalous?”

Ari smiled. “That would be great”

Merlin went into the room, feeling Ari’s blue eyes following his every movements. He returned with a blanket and offered it to him. When Ari took it, their hands touched. They both stood still for what felt like forever, staring at their hands. And Merlin swore he felt a spark running along his arm at the touch. He looked at Ari that was looking at him in return.

The boy smiled sweetly, blushing, and took hold of the blanket, keeping it near his chest. “I'll be right here. Good Night.”

“Good night” Merlin whispered, and slowly closed the door and went back to bed feeling safe finally.

The next day Merlin’s relationship with his travel companions slightly improved. During breakfast, some of the townmen said something to upset his group who started a fist fight with them.

When it was over, and Merlin was healing their wounds, he asked them why.

Sir Kay answered they did it for him. “We were defending your honour. They call you a whore. You're a guest of the De Bois. We can insult you, but god help any other man that does.”

Well that was actually sweet, Merlin thought.

***

The next day they stopped to refresh themselves.

“I'm going to the river to wash.” Merlin said, walking away.

He was washing his neck when he heard steps coming from behind him.

“Who are you?” It was Agravaine.

“A healer from Wales”

“That's what you'd have us believe. But you would seem to be a healer and a carrier as well of strong opinions.”

“There's no harm in an opinion.”

“You came out from nowhere and have seen things in our midst. You saw our castle, our army, our secret locations...You tell the Queen, and we are doomed.”

“I'm not a spy.” Merlin insisted for the hundredth time.

“Maybe not. But you are not telling the true about yourself neither. You are hiding something big, something dangerous, behind your carrier’s charms to make as lower our guard.”

“Oh Agravaine, you couldn’t be more wrong. I am not the enemy. You are. You are starving your people, you tried to kill your own nephew for power, and only god knows what else you are doing, you snake”

Agravaine panted, clearly pissed off now, “Why you little...”

“Sir... pleasure to see you again. Once more, I ask you...is everything all right?” Asked the same boy who had defended Merlin in the village a few weeks ago when he tried to return the goat to a starving family.

“Hello, again” Merlin said.

“Sir Daegel, of her majesty's army. And this time I do mean to ascertain your well-being.” He told Merlin.

“He is none of your concern.” Agravaine snarled.

“And you are?” The Queen’s knight asked cold.

“Agravaine De Bois, war chief and brother to Tristan De Bois, Duke of Cornwall, and the lands upon which you stand.”

“De Bois or not, if you are holding this Welsh gentleman against his will, you’ll be in trouble. Tell me, sir, are you here by your own choice?” He asked the final part to Merlin.

Merlin wasn’t sure of what to say. On one hand, this Daegel could be his saviour and allow him to leave the De Bois. On the other hand, he was a stranger and one of the Queen’s men. And until now he hadn’t heard anything good about this Queen. And for some reason the idea of leaving without saying goodbye to Ari hurt him deeply.

“I… I can assure you I am a guest of the De Bois.”

“As you wish. Nevertheless, I am certain my commander will wish to speak with you. He's presently in residence in a fortress nearby. Will you accompany me?”

“Well, if he goes, I go.” Agravaine demanded.

“Very well then. Let’s go”

Even though he wasn't going by his own choice, he still felt a heaviness leave his breast. For the first time since arrived in that strange world, Merlin found himself surrounded by his own people. They might be called Camelotian or something instead of Welsh, but they were still from his mother land. And they were sorcerers as well. Somehow it felt liberating to be looked upon with sympathy and respect instead of hostility and suspicion. Now it was Agravaine’s turn to feel like that, like an outlander. They may be still in a Cornish village, but for Agravaine was now enemy territory, surrounded by the queen’s knights.

On the way to the fortress sir Daegel asked Merlin questions, and he told him, while ignoring Agravaine’s looks, he was very eager to reach Glastonbury. His heart filled with joy when Daegel said it would be no problem for one of them to escort him there.

They entered the fortress and soon found themselves in front of the commander’s door. Daegel knocked before been granted entrance.

“My Lord, I have here the guest of the De Bois I suspected was actually their prisoner. His name is Merlin”

“Bring him in”

Merlin frowned. He knew that voice. And his blood froze when he saw its owner.

“Mordred”

“Oh hello darling. How nice to see you again” Mordred smirked evilly, and what hurt Merlin the most was not that stupid smile of his, but his eyes, so like his beloved Alex’s, that used to look at him with love but were now showing him only coldness and lust.

Useless to say, Merlin wanted to run. Mordred must have seen that, because he turned to Daegel.

“Sir Daegel, escort Lord Agravaine downstairs. There’s plenty of ale there for him while he waits. Lock the door behind you”

“I’m not going anywhere without...” Before Agravaine could finish his ranting, Mordred’s eyes turned gold and the Lord was thrown out of the door. Daegel followed him in silence, locking the door behind him.

Merlin couldn’t breath. He thought how he could escape. He could use magic, but something told him it was better to keep it a secret from Mordred for now. So he did.

Mordred forced him to sit in one of the empty chairs and started to walk around him, slowly, making sure he could hear the wood of the floor creaking under his shoes.

“Oh lovely Merlin, you have no idea how much I have longed for you. Ever since our first encounter, I have been in a state of extreme discomfort.” He said in a lustful way. Merlin shivered on the chair, only imagining what discomfort Mordred was taking about. “I wish to apologise. That awful day in the woods...The mere memory of it leaves me shamed.” The Queen’s nephew continued.

“Your apology pleases me more than you know. I'd hate to think a knight such as you would behave in such an ungentlemanly manner.” Merlin could barely recognise his own voice as he kept watching Mordred walking around him like a shark.

“I am not a casual person with someone of your beauty and charms. I look forward to the opportunity to reveal my true nature to you, and I can only hope that honesty will be met with honesty. I am very curious about you. You intrigue me”

“My honesty will match yours.”

“Please. Let us begin with you telling me who you are and why you're here.”

“I am no one of importance. And I am here due to an unfortunate situation.”

“I found you wandering the countryside dressed in clothes of dubious moral. When I try to _question_ you, I am struck down and rendered unconscious by a villain I later discover is a member of the De Bois men. These facts paint you either as a trollop, or as an agent in league with the queen’s enemies.”

“I am none of those things” Merlin swallowed.

“I don’t believe you, my beautiful liar”

“Am I under arrest? Because if not, then I refuse to submit further to this interrogation.”

Merlin jumped when he felt Mordred stopping behind him and leaning forward to whisper in his left ear, “You will not leave this room until I am _satisfied_ ”

At the last word, Mordred slipped his hand inside Merlin’s shirt and grabbed one of small tits, fondling it, paying a lot of attention to his nipple, playing it between his two fingers.

“Please, you don’t have to do this” Merlin’s voice was shacking, he felt paralysed.

“I can ensure you I have done so much worse”

“You cannot undo the things you've done, but it is not too late to win back your humanity. You can choose to be the man you wish to be.”

Mordred lifted Merlin up to a standing position and caressed his cheek sweetly. When had Merlin started to cry?

“The redemption of Mordred. I would love to see that” he chuckled. “How long I have been looking for you. I had even asked my seers to look for you but they couldn’t since you were too far. I was so worried those De Bois savages had hurt you.”

“I can ensure you they treated me with the most respect” It was a lie obviously, but Mordred didn’t need to know.

“Have they? Well, I hope you were not being to _friendly_ with them. You are mine after all!”

Merlin became irritated, “I am not yours! And I was not friendly with them, as you are implying. But even if I was, it’d be none of your business”

Mordred’s eyes if possible became darker, and he punched Merlin right in the stomach causing him to double over and fall on his knees to the floor, gasping for air. He saw Mordred’s feet stopping next to him, then the monster grabbed his hair and pulled it, so that they could be face to face.

“I dwell in darkness, and darkness is where I belong.”

Merlin looked at him with hate.

“Don’t look at me like that, darling. I had to make sure you are not with the child of one those filthy. If there was a baby in you, now I am certain it’s gone”

“You son of a b…”

Merlin was interrupted by Mordred’s lips on his own and his tongue in his mouth.

“I have been dreaming about kissing you again since the moment I met you. You have plagued my every thought since that day. I want you, and I will have you! And soon your womb will be full with my children”

He picked Merlin up from the floor and threw him on the table trying to get rid of his clothes. Merlin struggled obviously and was about to throw caution away and just use magic to make the bastard pay. However, before he could expose himself, the door was opened and Lord Agravaine stormed back in.

“I don't recall requesting your presence.” Mordred hissed.

“That’s it! We have done here. The boy is coming with me”

Mordred lifted Merlin up and pressed him against his chest facing Agravaine, holding him by the neck.

“I don’t think so. This boy has lived among the savages too long. He must be returned to the bosom of his own people, where he can take his rightful place by my side” He smiled when he saw his men storming in.

“You tell your men here to step aside before I lose my temper.” Agravaine was pissed.

Taking advantage of the two men arguing, Merlin managed to elbow Mordred on the ribs, causing lots of pain. Mordred let go and Merlin literally flew to Agravaine since at the moment he was the less of the two evils. He hide behind him, and disconnected himself from the situation for a moment, needing it to try and heal. He was in pain.

“You have no right to that boy, not while he’s being questioned by a Knight of Camelot.” Mordred snarled.

“He is a guest of the De Bois.”

“He is an Camelotian subject first.”

“And he was brought here for fear he was being held prisoner by my brother. Now he will have assured you that that is not the case, and by right, must be returned to me for protection.”

“I'm afraid further questions have arisen.”

“Oh, well...you won't be asking them on De Bois land. Not unless you want to start a war here, on this day. I doubt your aunt, the queen, would be too pleased to hear you started a war only for a boy you are lusting after”

Mordred gridded his teeth, “I suppose we're done for the day. Be sure to deliver him into Camelot lands by sundown tomorrow. If he is not present at the appointed time, you will be accused of harbouring a fugitive from Camelot, and you'll be hunted down and punished, even unto death. War chief or not.” Then he turned to his men, “Let them pass.”

“Come on, boy.” Agravaine had to drag Merlin out due to the pain from the punch and the mistreatment.

“I look forward to our next meeting, my darling” Merlin heard Mordred promised before the door closed behind him.

***

His body still reeling from the pain, the last thing Merlin felt like was a headlong gallop. He feared he was about to fainting when Agravaine finally called for a halt.

“Are we meeting the others here?” Merlin asked, stepping down from the horse.

“No, they're back at the campsite, but there's fresh water nearby, and you look like you could use it.” He pointed to a river down the path.

Merlin thanked him, confused by his sudden kindness, and started to drink. The water felt strange, as if there was magic in it. He stood up and turned around, finding Agravaine with a dagger in his hand.

“Are you a spy for the queen?” The Lord asked.

“How many times must I answer that same question?”

“I promise, this is the last time I'll ever ask it of you.”

“I am not a spy.” Merlin said with his blue eyes fixed on the Lord. “I am plain Merlin Emerson and nothing more. There. Can we finally be done with it?” Agravaine was looking at him as if waiting for something to happen. “Well?”

”Yes, done it is.”

“Do you plan on using that on me?” Merlin pointed at the dagger.

“I would have loved to. You’re a handsome but stubborn boy, but if you proved false, I would have had no choice. But now I know you’re telling the truth.” Agravaine put the dagger away, back in his belt.

“May I ask what convinced you?” Merlin was confused.

“This spring. Some druids call it the liar's spring. If you drink from that and you prove untrue, it'll burn your gizzard out.”

“A magic spring? What would Tristan think of his own brother using magic? Isn’t it illegal?”

Agravaine smirked, “For the good of my land, I am willing to use every mean...even the illegal ones. You’re a healer. Surely you believe in the powers of magic.”

Ah here was the snake Merlin had come to know. Agravaine couldn’t accuse him of being a spy anymore, but he still had to try something to destroy him. He obviously didn’t trust Merlin yet.

“I believe in the power of medicine, of the herbs our lands gifted us, to be used alongside scientific methods, improved with practice and patience by men, normal men”

Agravaine smirked, “We’ll see”

“Well, it would be nice to show Mordred this spring, so he could be convinced I am innocent”

“I doubt it would work. Mordred is using your mysterious presence here only as an excuse. He doesn’t care whether you are a spy. He wants you for himself. That’s all.”

“And now he’ll have me” Merlin wanted to cry.

“You don't need to see him again. Not if you do what I tell you.”

“Don't you have to bring me into the queen’s lands borders tomorrow?”

“A Welsh knight cannot compel a Cornish person, unless there is proof a crime has been committed, and even so, cannot force a Cornish subject from the De Bois lands without permission from the Duke of Cornwall or his representative concerned. Mordred forgot this law is still valid. It probably won’t be for long, since war with the queen will be unavoidable soon, but for now it still stands”

“You've been studying.”

“Yes, I have. I thought it might come to this. And I really think you will be more valuable to me alive and in my lands. I can only legally refuse to hand you back to Mordred if I change you from a Welsh boy to a Cornish.”

“Into a Cornish?”

“Mm, and the only way I can do that is for you to marry one.”

Merlin’s heart started to beat faster and faster. “No. Absolutely not. I cannot do that!”

“Would you rather become Mordred’s sex slave and broodmare?”

Merlin shacked his head and pressed his lips in frustration, “So I’m to marry you?”

“Well, I must admit the idea of grinding your corn does tickle me, but it's not myself I'd be nominating for the position.”

“Then who?”

***

“Agravaine wants us to be married.” A still shocked Merlin said to his soon to be husband, while he was sitting on a hill, still trying to process the recent events.

“I know.” Ari said, sitting next to Merlin and handing him a flask of ale.

“And you're willing?” Merlin asked the other boy.

“Well, you’ve mended my wounds more than once. I feel I owe you something for all that. Besides, what kind of friend would I be if I left you to that mad bastard Mordred?”

“But surely a young man like yourself...well, isn't there someone else that you're interested in?”

Ari looked at him straight in the eyes and smiled. “No. No, I'm not much of a prospect for a wife. I mean, there's the minor difficulty of a price on my head. No father wants his daughter married to a man that might be arrested and hanged any time.”

Merlin looked down, “So that's it then. As far as you're concerned, we can just start the honeymoon tomorrow?”

“Yes. Whatever suits you.”

Merlin was desperate to have him say no to the marriage. He had one last ace up his sleeve, thinking about the time he was.

“Well, doesn't it bother you that...that I'm not a virgin?”

Ari blushed before answering, “Well, uh, no. So long as it doesn’t bother you that I am.”

An awkward silence fell on them, a silence Ari decided to break with a small chuckle. “I reckon one of us should know what they're doing.”

Merlin could only think ‘ _well, fuck_ ’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the link of the scene of the waulking wool in Outlander that inspired the scene in this chapter.  
> https://youtu.be/MxV3qn9vgVA 
> 
> Next chapter: a wedding and the wedding night!


	5. The wedding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you like it.
> 
> Like usual quotes from Outlander and bbc Merlin

You forget your life after awhile...the life you had before. Things you cherished and hold dear are like pearls on a string. Cut the knot, they scatter across the floor, rolling into dark corners, never to be found again. So you move on. And eventually you forget what the pearls even looked like.

Or at least you try.

Those were Merlin’s thoughts when he opened his eyes that morning. He was laying in his bed and staring at the ceiling wishing he was somewhere else. That was the day of his second marriage. He had tried hard to fight this idea of Agravaine, even reminding the Lord he was still married. But nothing worked. Since Agravaine didn’t believe Merlin had a husband to begin with and didn’t find any proof of Alex’s existence, he had declared that Merlin’s first husband was dead, hence Merlin could marry Ari.

Merlin sighed and enjoyed his last few moments of peace, before the wife of the owner of the Tavern they were staying in stormed in to help him get ready for the wedding.

“It’s time to get ready, lovely”

She forced him to undress and started to wash him.

“I can do that myself, you know?” Merlin pointed out irritated when she started to wash his most intimate parts.

“Orders of the Lord” was all she had to say.

“Give it up, beautiful cheekbones” Gwaine’s joyful voice rang from behind him. He and Percy had just come inside the room. “Lord Agravaine wants to make sure you are never alone, just in case you decides to run” He winked at him.

Merlin scoffed. “So, you are what? My bodyguards?”

Gwaine laughed, “Kind of. Your real guards are outside. All of Agravaine’s men are to make sure the bride doesn’t escape. Ari sent us here for moral support”

Merlin shook his head in exasperation. “Now I know why Julia Roberts fled from the altar so many times in _Runaway Bride_ ”

“Who?” Percy asked.

“Never mind” Merlin murmured. “So what do you have in mind for ‘moral support’?”

Gwaine smirked, and took a lot of bottles out of his bag. “What do you say?”

***

After a few drinks with the boys Merlin felt slightly more relaxed. He was grateful to Gwaine and Percy. In different circumstances he was sure they would be the best of friends.

“How’s Ari?” Merlin found himself asking, maybe in the hope his future husband had found a way to escape somehow, and that maybe was now riding toward the horizon toward freedom.

“He’s getting ready as well. Lance and Leon are with him”

Before Merlin could ask more, the Innkeeper’s wife returned with clothes in her hands. She laid them on the bed, and Merlin could see them clearly. They were his wedding dressing.

He approached the bed and caressed the fabric with soft touches. The shirt was blue velvet with embroidered a silver dragon surrounded by a shield. The trousers and the cape was of dark silver satin. It was beautiful.

Merlin had wanted to make this wedding a fast and unimportant affair, so he thought he would wear his current travelling clothes. But now, looking between his shirt with a big dirty spot of wine and the beautiful dress on the bed, vanity won. If he really had no choice but get married, he wouldn’t do it looking like the village slob.

“Do you like it?” Percy asked.

“I love it. Where does it come from?”

“Well, Ari wanted to make sure you had a nice dress, so your dear Uncle Gwaine here gambled a little bit yesterday at the tavern in the next town and won this fancy clothes, a piece from each different losers. Mind you, the clothes were not this nice when I won them, so the boys, Ari and I decided to use some of our few coins to pay a seamstress to make it worthy of someone of your beauty”

Merlin was speechless. He knew Ari and his men didn’t have much left since they had to run from their land as criminals. So he was touched by the fact they used what little they had to ensure he had a proper wedding dress.

He gave them one of his open smiles, the one that could bright up the darkest room, like the sun. A smile that made many fall head over heels in love with him. A smile, he realised, only Ari had seen since he fell through time.

“Thank you, guys”

The two men were awed by such a smile. And Gwaine couldn’t help a “Damn, Arthur is one lucky princess”. He said it so softly that no one else heard him.

Soon after, Merlin was dressed. He looked at himself in the mirror. He couldn’t deny he looked very regal and handsome.

He went downstairs, where Agravaine and his men were waiting. Agravaine saw him while he was still on the stairs. The rest of the men soon followed his gaze. They stopped talking. Agravaine’s black eyes run up and down along his body. He nodded approving, the rest of the men agreed with him. Merlin didn’t mind being appreciated once in a while, especially on the day of his marriage.

Marriage.

Oh. Temporarily kept afloat by the wine and the beautiful dress, Merlin had managed to ignore for a while the importance of that occasion. He clung to the handrail the moment the idea hit him with the force of a punch in the stomach.

The innkeeper offered him another glass of wine, which Merlin gratefully accepted before following his picturesque wedding procession out of the inn towards the small chapel of the nearby monastery. Agravaine never let go of his elbow, a bit to support him, but above all to make sure he didn't run away. It had been explained to him the day before that the De Bois were increasingly embracing Christianity, a new religion in those lands, but not yet completely legal in the rest of Albion. Therefore the marriage would be celebrated first with the Christian rite, to make it legal for the De Bois, and then with the pagan rite, as it had always been in those lands before the Great Purge. Agravaine had to pay the friar who was to marry them handsomely for permission to perform the pagan rite as well. He wanted to make sure the marriage was legal at all costs. When Merlin asked what the Great Purge was, a heavy silence fell. Agravaine only told him that it was the attempt of King Uther, former King of Camelot and father of the current Queen, to free Albion from the corruption of magic and the Old Religion.

Merlin was curious about this topic, but decided there would be a more appropriate time in the future to ask more. A time that was not today and now, since they had just reached the entrance of the chapel.

It was a cloudy day, but suddenly the sun came out as Ari emerged from the chapel.

If Merlin was a beautiful 'bride', the groom was radiant. Merlin could only gasp in front of such breathtaking view of gold and red.

Ari was wearing a shining chainmail with a belt around his waist, a sword attached to it, brown trousers and well polished brown boots. Long golden bracers covered his forearms. A long bright red cape fell along his back, with a large golden dragon embroidered on it. The cape was kept tied to his shoulders by golden clasps with chain.

However, what took Merlin’s breath away was not just these fine clothing, but his silky blond hair. It was not a simply blond colour. No, it was as golden as the most precious of the treasures, shining under the sun. Now Merlin understood why Ari was always hiding his real hair colour. Who could ever not notice such a brightness?

Tall, with broad shoulders and strong features, he was far from the filthy stable boy he was used to. There was a knight in front of him now.

And by the sly smile on his face, Ari knew far too well of the effect that apparition was having on Merlin.

Chivalrously bending his knee, Ari bowed to Merlin, muttering, “Your servant”

“Oh” Merlin said languidly.

For once even Agravaine was speechless in front of his nephew’s clothes for a moment. Then he frowned and snapped. “Are you out of your mind, boy?!? What if someone sees you?”

Ari lifted a eyebrow, “Please uncle, don’t insult me on my wedding day. I have no intention of hiding who I really am today. I will not dishonoured my husband like that”

Agravaine hissed, “Well then, if you are quite finished with these sweet nothings... let's get on with it.”

In a sudden panic, Merlin turned to Ari, "I can't marry you.” Ari’s face dropped in hurt at those words. “I don't even know your real name.”

Ari looked at him relieved. “Oh. It’s Arthur. Arthur Utherson Pendragon” He spelled out every single word slowly.

Pale like never before, Merlin was having a heart attack. It couldn’t be true. But even someone as ignorant as him about the Arthurian legends knew the name Arthur Pendragon.

He was about to get married for the second time, hundreds of years in the past, not to his Alex, but to none other than fucking King Arthur. A virgin King Arthur. And once he got hold of this, he also realised his witnesses were the fucking Knights of the Round Table. Noble Lance was Lancelot; that sweet giant of Percy was Percival, and so on.

Too busy having a internal meltdown, he didn’t register Ari—ehm- Arthur softly kissing his hand and then escorting him into the chapel until he felt the cold in the church. He looked around. Arthur and he were facing each other in front of the altar and the friar was talking.

Merlin could barely follow what he was saying, but it didn’t matter. He doubted the Christian ritual had changed much. He was feeling like a cold and empty shell.

When it was time for the vows, he took Arthur’s hands and noticed with surprise they were as cold as his own. Maybe, just maybe, despite his casual attitude, he too was as nervous as he was.

Until then Merlin had avoid looking at him, but now he lifted his eyes and noticed Arthur was staring at him. The blond gave him a soft smile and squeezed his hands a little bit more. Merlin got the feeling they were supporting each other. If either of them let go or looked away, they would both loose it. This feeling strangely made Merlin feel better. Whatever was going to happen, good or bad, they were in this together.

“I, Arthur Pendragon, take thee, Merlin Emerson, to be my wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forth, for better or for worse, in sickness and in health...till death us do part.”

He caressed Merlin’s knuckles with a thumb.

Taking a deep breath, Merlin knew it was his turn. “I, Merlin Emerson, take thee, Arthur Pendragon, to be my wedded husband. To have and to hold from this day...in sickness and in health...till death us do part.”

“Do you have the rings?” The friar asked.

Lancelot passed them the rings. Merlin took a note to himself to ask Arthur where his ring came from. It was beautiful. A simple silver ring, made with Celtic knots. Arthur’s was the same.

The friar said a few traditional words, and Arthur leaned forward to kiss Merlin. At the beginning it was supposed to be a light peck on the lips just for the sake of the ceremony, but then Merlin felt how warm and soft Arthur’s lips were and couldn’t help himself. He met those lips with pressure. They were all his focus. An anchor during the storm.

They separated and just smiled at each other like idiots.

The moment was interrupted by Agravaine, who stepped forward with a dagger. Merlin stepped back in panic, but Arthur’s firm hold on his hands stopped him.

“Don’t worry, Merlin. This is just the pagan part of the wedding. It’ll be over soon” Arthur reassured him with a kind smile.

Merlin calmed down and allowed Agravaine to cause a cut on his wrist. It wasn’t deep, not enough to harm, but enough to drew a bit of blood. He repeated the gesture on Arthur and then pressed their bleeding wrists one against the other, and tied them together with a cloth.

“Repeat after me” Arthur whispered.

The words were in Cornish. Two or three sentences. The words meant nothing to Merlin, but he repeated them at best of his abilities. Then the cloth was removed, the blood dried, and they were married.

The guests applauded and congratulated them. Then the group made its way back to Inn for the celebrations and, Merlin gulped, the wedding night.

***

At the Inn rivers of ale, wine and god only knew what else were flowing freely as the men enjoyed the wedding celebration, a welcomed break from the tiring weeks of rent collecting.

Merlin stood up to go and refresh himself when he was stopped by Agravaine.

“I want for this marriage to be consumed. No hesitation” He ordered. “It must be a legal union, at all costs, with no chance of annulment.” He smirked. “I knew the boy’s father. If he is anything like him, you’ll have no issues doing your part”

Merlin just stared at him with hate and distrust as the Lord went back to the tables. That snake was gaining or would gain something big by this marriage. Merlin didn’t believe, not even for a second, that Agravaine was doing all this just to save Merlin from Mordred. The problem was he had no idea what the Lord really wanted. But he felt deep inside one day he would find out unfortunately.

Merlin met Arthur’s eyes from the other side of the room, who had seen the whole interaction. The blond was definitely having Merlin’s same suspicion.

***

Later, Merlin was sat on the bed asking himself how this could have happened. How did he happen to find himself in a forced marriage with a legendary king?

He flinched when Arthur entered the room were they would stay for three days for the ‘honeymoon’. The blond smiled apologising.

“You didn’t have to be scared of me. I have no intention to jump you…at least not like that”

“Never thought you would”

Arthur wouldn’t probably touch him until Merlin gave him permission to. And Merlin took a deep breath when he realised that soon he would have to directly ask this man to do very intimate acts with him.

It would all be so much more difficult if Merlin found him unattractive, but alas it was quite the opposite. He found Arthur extremely handsome since the moment they met. Fact remains however that Merlin hadn’t slept with anyone but Alex for the past eight years at least. No one could really fault him for being more than nervous.

“Do you want to sit down?” Merlin offered timidly.

“Yes” He did, took Merlin’s hand, and surprised Merlin a lot by asking, “Why don’t you tell me about your husband?”

“What?”

“Look, Merlin. We’ll be in here for a few days, and even thought I am a virgin, even I know it doesn’t take that much time to do what we have to do. So, I think that first we should talk, and get over the fear we have of each other”

“You are afraid of me?” Merlin lifted both eyebrows in disbelief.

Arthur looked at him in the eyes and smiled. “Yes, M _e_ rlin. More than you are of me, I ensure you. That’s why I am holding your hand, so mine won’t shake”

Merlin didn’t believe the last part but appreciated Arthur’s attempt to lift the mood. He decided it was only fair he joined in. “Anytime you are too scared, please, don’t hesitate to hide behind my skirt, you prat”

Arthur laughed, his blue eyes full of mischief. “So you do admit you’re the woman here, _wife_ ”

Merlin gasped and slapped him lightly on the arm, “How dare you, dollophead! I’ll have you know I am _very_ manly and…well, husbandly”

They were both laughing.

“I can’t wait to check that with my own eyes” Arthur said before turning more serious. “But seriously, Merlin, never being scared to tell me about your first husband. I don’t want him to be a ghost between us and for you to forget him, just because your husband is me now. If you loved him, it means he was a good person”

“Yes, he…was. Thank you, Arthur. Maybe one day I’ll tell you about him” Merlin hesitated only for a moment before continuing. “I have some questions for you”

“Ah, I guessed as much. But before you ask me anything, there’s something I want from you first”

“What?”

“Honesty”

Merlin jumped. _Did Arthur find out his secrets? Did he know he was a sorcerer and from the future? How could it be?_

“I know there are things you don’t want to tell me, Merlin, or that maybe you cannot tell me. I will never press you to tell me what concerns only you or your secrets. But I need to ask you only one favour. When you tell me something, let it be the truth. I promise you the same. We have nothing now between us, save - respect, perhaps. And I think that respect has maybe room for secrets, but not for lies. Don’t you agree?”

Merlin’s respect for Arthur grew at least just a little bit at those words. He smiled. “Yes, I do.”

Arthur smiled in return. “Good. Now, then, what do you want to know?”

“I want to know why you agreed to marry me?”

“Ah. I had many reasons for doing it. I’ll tell you the main one maybe one day, for now I’ll tell you only some of them. The first of course was so you could be safe from Mordred. He’s a terrible man. I wouldn’t even leave a dog in his care”

Merlin shivered at the thought of Mordred, such a violent man. “So you married me to keep me safe.”

“Yes. You don’t need to worry now. You have my name, my men, my family. And, if necessary, the protection of my body as well. That man will not put his hands on you ever again as long as I’m alive”

Merlin could feel his heart swelling up at those words. Arthur was serious. He was young but he knew what he was saying, what he was promising. He would lay his life for Merlin’s anytime and with no hesitation. Merlin was sure of that. And he felt safe. Not just because Arthur’s body was that of a warrior, trained to kill since birth, and of a knight, trained to protect, but also because of his eyes. His summer sky blue eyes made Merlin feel he could walk naked through Hell and still be able to reach Heaven unharmed, as long as Arthur was with him.

As reassuring as this thought was, it was also terrifying in its intensity.

“Very chivalry of you. Thank you, Arthur. I hope I will be able to return the favour one day”

“You already have”

“Uh?”

“By marrying me you saved me from my uncle Agravaine. He wanted to kill me so I couldn’t become Tristan’s heir and inherit Cornwall at his death. But now that I am married to you, I cannot become the next Duke of Cornwall anymore. This is another reason for marrying you” Arthur smiled.

“Uhm. Ok…why?”

“Because if I become Duke of Cornwall now, you’ll be its ‘duchess’ let’s say. And Tristan and every nobleman of Cornwall will prefer to fall on their own sword before allowing an outlander like you to become their sovereign. The solution to avoid this scandalous situation is not making me heir, so Agravaine has no more competition from me. Thank you, oh dear husband of mine”

Merlin made a face, “You’re welcome, I suppose. I can sense an insult at me there somewhere” Arthur laughed. “Do you think this is why Agravaine insisted we got married legally so much?”

Arthur frowned. “It’s definitely a reason. But I can see in his eyes this is not the only reason. I know him. He’s plotting something bigger. But I cannot figure out what…not yet at least”

Merlin sighed. “Well, this is an other reason for marrying me. Are there others you can tell me?”

He looked directly into his eyes. “Maybe I just wanted to sleep with you… you ever thought of that?”

Merlin gasped, not expecting such boldness. “Do you really want to sleep with me that much?”

“If I’m being honest, yes, I do”

“You didn’t need to marry me in order to do that”

Arthur seemed scandalised by what those words implied. “Do you think I am the type of man to take you without even offering marriage in return??”

Merlin shrugged. “Many men would”

“Well, my dear, let me tell you here and right now, I am not like ‘many men’”

Merlin looked at him up and down. So there was something Merlin could give him in return. And Merlin would lie if he was to say he had never thought of it. Arthur was one handsome arrogant bastard after all. “No, I suppose you are not”

Merlin poured a glass of wine for the both of them.

“Come on, then. Tell me about your family”

“Well, I suppose I can finally tell you everything. As I mentioned already, I was born in Tintagel. My mother was Ygraine De Bois, the youngest sister of Tristan and Agravaine. My father was Uther Pendragon, king of Camelot” Arthur stopped to see Merlin’s shocked reaction.

Merlin did his best to look surprised. Of course he now knew who Arthur was. He may have not know the details of his life, but that he was a Prince and future king, yes. But he played his part, and pretended to be shocked. “So you are a prince?”

Arthur lifted his chin proudly. “That I am. You should feel honoured to have such a prized husband”

Merlin rolled his eyes and said sarcastically. “Oh yes, I am so honoured, your highness. My eyes hurt in front of your shining figure and your greatness. I am not worthy to share this room and this bed with you. Maybe I should sleep in another room”

Arthur pouted like a child. “Ah ah, very funny, M _e_ rlin. You are not going anywhere. Tonight you are mine. Your prince orders it”

“Yes, your pratness” Merlin mockingly bowed.

They looked at each other and laughed aloud.

“And then? How did your parents met?”

“Well, my mother was actually engaged to Gorlois, a long time friend and ally of uncle Tristan. My father was invited to the engagement banquet out of courtesy since he was a powerful king of a neighbour kingdom, and it was then and there my parents met. I heard it was love at first sight. Soon they started to see each other in secret. When my uncles found out they were outraged of course. They tried to forced my mother to marry Gorlois agains her will. My mother told them off, she was so strong willing I heard. But my uncles just locked her in the castle until the marriage. However, one of her loyal servants sent a message to my father, who went to rescue her the day of the marriage”

Merlin was fascinated by this story.

“She and my father slipped out of the castle right under the noses of 3000 men. They ran to Camelot of course and got married. Gorlois married an other woman, Lady Vivienne. After a few years, my mother got pregnant with me.” His eyes turned sad. “The pregnancy had been difficult toward the end. She was very weak. She was in Tintagel to patch up things with her brothers, maybe feeling she may not have had another chance, when she went into labor. She died in childbirth”

Merlin’s heart broke for Arthur. “I am sorry.”

“My father changed after that, they told me. He became a bitter man, too consumed by grief to feel anything else. Not even love for his own son. Maybe because I look so much like her, a constant reminder of his lost love and the disappointment that I was still here and she wasn’t”

“Sadness kills more than any war or disease. But Arthur, never doubt your father loved you. After what you just told me about their great love, I think that the only thing that kept your father together, allowing him to live so long after her lost, was you. I don’t think you were a reminder of what he lost, but that a part of her was still with him. You are not a disappointment, but a gift. A gift from her to him. Maybe your father just didn’t know how to express his feelings anymore.”

Noticing the silence following his words, Merlin looked up and saw Arthur was staring at him deeply, as if Merlin was the most precious creature in the world. Eyes full of gratitude, awe and want.

“No one had ever put it this way and told me this. I also doubt someone told my father” Arthur said gulping.

“Well, I am not like many people” Merlin cheeky said, as Arthur pointed out about himself earlier.

“You definitely are not” Arthur murmured.

“What happened after your mother’s death? You said you have a half-sister”

“Yes, Morgana. When I was about eight my father adopted her as his ward. As far as anyone was concerned, she was the daughter of Gorlois and Vivienne, who had recently passed. No one knew why my father took her in, maybe it was because he felt guilty about stealing Ygraine from Gorlois so many years before. However the truth was discovered years later. After my mother’s death, in a moment of despair, when Gorlois was away, my father bedded Lady Vivienne and got her with child, Morgana. My father never recognised her as his daughter and apparently Morgana _really_ disliked this. She decided to get revenge against our father by taking the throne for herself. She was aided by her half sister Morgause, Gorlois and Vivienne’s firstborn and powerful High Priestess of the Old Religion. I don’t know how the two of them met, but Morgause taught Morgana magic, very dark magic, and together they conquered Camelot. Morgana proclaimed herself Queen, named Morgause her second in command, executed my father by burning him to the stake, and was about to do the same to me. But as you know, my men saved me. I became an exiled prince. The rest you know”

Merlin was speechless. What a mess. He was still shock to hear those legendary names like Morgana Le Fay pronounced so casually. “This Morgause sounds like a very manipulative and mean person”

Arthur nodded. “She is. She turned Morgana into a heartless monster and she is Mordred’s mother as well”

“Really?”

“Yes. Now you know why he is so vicious. I don’t know who his father is. Some says a Druid, other King Cenred, an ally of Morgause before she killed him to take hold of his army. She is famous for seducing important and powerful men for her own personal gains”

“Damn, your family is even messier than the Forresters of “ _The Bold and the Beautiful_ ” soap opera”

Arthur frowned confused, “The what?”

“Never mind”

“Let’s stop talking about my wonderful family. Tell me about yours”

“There’s no much to say. I never met my father. My mother Hunith raised me by herself in this little village in Wales. We didn’t have much, but she always worked hard to make sure I could have a good education. It’s mostly thanks to her I could effort to become a doctor. During my studies, I met Alex, my husband. My mother died a few weeks after I met him. It had been just the two of us since then. That’s it”

“So our histories are not so different from one another after all. You miss him, don’t you?”

“I do. But I prefer not to speak about him tonight if you don’t mind”

“Understandably, of course….”

“It’s getting rather late. Perhaps we should go to bed?” Merlin suggested.

Arthur lifted an eyebrow, “To bed...or to sleep?”

“Well…”

“Regardless, you cannot do it with so many clothes on…let me help you undress”

Merlin stood still as Arthur removed his blue cape, his belt, and slowly loosed his trousers. They fell on the floor around Merlin’s feet with a light thud. Arthur kneeled on the floor and took his time removing Merlin’s boots, caressing his naked skin every so often with light touches, making Merlin shiver. He was left only with his blue shirt on, barely reaching his thighs. Arthur stood back up and just admired his beautiful husband, mesmerising.

Merlin gulped. “It's my turn.”

Merlin repeated Arthur’s previous actions, adding some light touches here and there on his chest, his shoulders… He noticed Arthur’s hand shaking slightly when he kneeled to remove the boots. Merlin was hit fully by the realisation it was Arthur’s first time. He must be very nervous.

Merlin stood back up. They were now facing each other, and it seemed Arthur couldn’t wait any longer.

He grabbed Merlin by his nape and pushed him forward, devoting his lips in a hot and consuming kiss. Merlin could feel it. Arthur was hungry, but not for food.

Their tongues met and a battle started, a battle that soon turned into a dance.

Merlin felt a tingle in his toes. “Where did you learn to kiss like that?” He asked out of breath.

Arthur lifted a side of his mouth, pleased. “I said I was a virgin...not a monk. If I need guidance... I'll ask.”

Arthur hugged him tight, and Merlin could feel Arthur was more than ready to take him. To his surprise, he was ready as well. He didn’t know if it was the wine, the long celibacy or Arthur’s beauty, but Merlin found himself wanting him very much.

They kissed again, and Arthur fondled his breasts.

“You better tell me now if I am being to rough. If you tell me while we are one, I am not sure I’ll be able to stop”

“Just shut up and take me” Merlin demanded. He put his arms around his neck and let himself fall on his back on the bed, taking Arthur with him. Then he guided him between his thighs and inside him. Arthur’s precum the perfect lube.

“Oh my” Arthur gasped. His face buried in Merlin’s neck.

“Don’t you dare stop now, you prat”

Since it was Arthur’s first time, as expected, he was a bit clumsy and didn’t last long. He didn’t blow Merlin’s mind. Nonetheless it had been very pleasant. Their bodies very compatible.

When Arthur finished emptying himself in Merlin’s warmth, he laid down next to him on his back to catch his breath. He had a silly smile on his face. He looked like a child on Christmas Day. Merlin smiled at the image.

“So was it like you thought it would be?” Merlin asked, still unable to believe he had just deflowered King Arthur.

“Uhm, almost. I think I spent too much time in the stables. I thought...I didn’t realised you did it face-to-face. I thought you must do it the back way, you know, like... like horses.”

Merlin couldn’t help himself but laughed aloud, happy Arthur soon joined him. “Your tutors didn’t teach you anything?”

“I was educated to become a proper King…not a master in bed.” He protested.

“Well, despite that, you can tell your tutors you did just fine”

“I'll ask you a question.”

“Of course.”

“Did you like it?”

Merlin looked at him, “Yes”. Then he stood up and looked out of the window, feeling his heart heavy. There it was. Not only was he a bigamist and an adulterer, but he'd enjoyed it.

“I need to get some food.” He started to move to the door to go downstairs.

“Merlin, wait. I’ll go. They are far too drunk down there at the moment, believe me, you don’t want to hear their jokes”

Arthur stood up from the bed and went downstairs. From the closed door, Merlin could immediately hear the men’s happy cheers when they saw Arthur emerging from their room in nothing but his shirt, clearly knowing what had just happened.

Merlin heard Gwaine in particular. “Hey, Princess, how was your first time? Did you bleed?” And Arthur’s answer, “Your nose will bleed if you don’t shut up” but he was laughing, so Merlin relaxed.

Arthur came back with a lot of food to last them a while. He was blushing from the men’s jokes for sure. Merlin was now happy he didn’t go downstairs himself.

“Took you awhile. Had fun with your friends” Merlin smirked.

Arthur huffed. “I wish. Uncle Agravaine wanted to give me some advice now that I’m a married man”

“Oh, now I am curious. What are uncle Agravaine’s advices for a happy and long married life? Please, do tell”

Arthur chuckled at Merlin’s sarcastic tone and sat with him at the round dining table by the fire. “He said, and I quote, _you never want to let a woman see you're too eager to please her. Gives her too much power._ "

Merlin rolled his eyes, unsurprised, “Really? And what did you have to say to that?”

Arthur smiled and fed him a piece of cheese, “I said I was completely under your power and happy to be there.”

Merlin blushed, and blushed even more when Arthur stood up and moved behind him. He started to massage his shoulders and plant little kisses along his neck.

“ _Fy cariad gwallt llwyd_ ” Arthur murmured.

“What does that mean?” Merlin knew it was Welsh.

"My brown-haired love."

Merlin smiled, “Rather a dull colour, brown, I've always thought.”

“No. No, not dull at all. It's like the... the water in a burn. The way it ruffles down the rocks. Dark in the wavy spots with...little bits of auburn when the sun touches it.” He said as he passed his fingers first in Merlin’s hair and then slowly along his back.

Merlin stiffed slightly. After the realisation of his adulterous status, he was not ready for a repetition of his sin so soon.

He moved away from the touch lightly, and tried to engage Arthur in a conversation. “This rings are beautiful. I thought you didn’t have any money left on you. How did you manage to acquire them?”

It worked, because Arthur returned to his seat in front of Merlin and poured them wine. “I didn’t buy them. Elyan is the son of a blacksmith. I asked him to create those rings from a silver key I had with me.”

“The key of what?”

“The key of Camelot. It’s only symbolic of course. When I became Crowned Prince, my father gifted it to me, to symbolise the protection and safety of the kingdom was now in my hands”

“I see.” Merlin was now looking at his wedding ring in a different light.

“Do you like it?”

“Very much. At first sight, it looked simple, but then you look deeper and can see intricate knots and realise there’s so much more than what the eyes first saw”

Arthur smiled, “It reminds me of you. You look very simple at first sight, but then, when you take your time to look deeper, there’s a whole new world to discover”

Merlin smiled, “I can say the same about you” Yes, there was so much more about Arthur than what met the eyes.

They each spent the next several hours drinking and talking and...generally getting to know their new spouses.

They were having so much fun. They were red in the faces, their stomachs hurt and small tears were falling from the corner of their eyes from too much laughter. They were exchanging jokes after jokes, and stories. Oh how many stories.

Merlin found Arthur charming, a born storyteller, a bit theatrical to be honest. In another life he would have been an amazing actor. Right now he was standing on the table telling him how Gwaine was once found by a nobleman in bed with his wife, daughters and mother all together!

“Oh, come on. Now you're just making things up.” Merlin threw a bit of wine at him, laughing.

“No, I-I told it to you _exactly_ as Gwaine told it to me.” He was laughing too.

“Maybe your memory is not working properly”

Arthur started at him. “My memory works perfectly, thank you very much. For example, I remember every moment, every second of today. I'll never forget when I came out of the church and saw you for the first time. It was as if I stepped outside on a cloudy day and suddenly the sun came out.” He caressed his cheek.

Merlin swallowed. “Strange. I thought exactly the same”

He caressed Arthur’s hand against his cheek, then he removed it and looked at the slight scar of when Agravaine made them bleed for the pagan ritual.

“What exactly did the words mean?” Merlin asked, remembering that particular moment.

"Something like: _You are blood of my blood and bone of my bone. I give you my body that we two may be one. I give you my spirit...till our life shall be done_.”

Merlin was overwhelmed by the depth of what he promised to this man only that morning. “Have you noticed how similar are the words of the Old religion and the New? And yet people think they are so different. Both rituals involves binding two souls together forever”

“You know Merlin, when you kissed me like that I thought, well, maybe you weren't so sorry to be marrying me after all.”

“I am not” Merlin said with nothing but honesty. He had promised after all.

Arthur cleared his throat. “I know that once is enough to legalise the marriage, but…”

“Do you want to do it again?”

He nodded. “Would you mind it?”

“Not at all”

Merlin stood up and moved to the centre of the room and turned to face Arthur, taking a deep breath. He wasn’t one to run from what life threw at him, and now Arthur was part of his life. For as long as it’d last, he would embrace this…whatever _this_ was.

“Take off your shirt. I want to look at you.”

Arthur didn’t hesitate to walk until he was in front of him. Without looking away, not even for a moment, he took his shirt off, standing proudly naked.

Merlin slowly walked around him, taking in every detail, smelling his neck, caressing his lower back and muscled thighs, until he returned to the front.

“Well, then...fair is fair. Take off yours as well.” Arthur challenged.

Merlin smiled slyly and did just that. Once naked, Arthur studied him intensely with interest, exploring every inch of his slender but soft body, different from other males due to his nature.

“Have you never seen a naked male carrier before?”

“Yes, but not one so close.” He smiled brightly and moved closer, grabbing his wide hips, “And not one that's mine.”

He kissed him deeply and grabbed his ass pushing up, forcing Merlin to wrap his legs around his waist and his arms around his neck. Arthur pushed two fingers in to loose Merlin up, making him moan, then proceed to carry him to the bed so that Merlin was straddling him. They never stopped kissing.

Merlin started to kiss his neck, and slowly reserved the same attention to his chest. While Arthur kept fingering him, Merlin lined his tits with Arthur’s mouth, so the blond could suck and play with them. Merlin moaned when he bit his nipples, appreciating his enthusiasm despite his inexperience.

“Arthur, I am ready”

“Uhm, oh yes, you are, so ready for me”

Arthur embraced him and flipped the around. He entered him smoothly and without the hesitation of the first time. He started a fast but deep succession of thrusts. He was a bit too eager and still clumsy, but he made love with such a joy and restless way it melt Merlin’s heart.

The bed was banging against the wall and Merlin’s moans were turning louder and louder, Arthur’s were no less. Merlin felt so open, every nerve in his body tingling. Arthur fitted so well in him. At some point, Arthur touched him inside in the right place and with the right pressure, and Merlin arched and let out a scream of pure pleasure. He came like he never came before, not even when he was a horny teenager.

Arthur stopped immediately, worried. “I'm sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“You didn't.” Merlin stretched, languid and dreamy. He felt wonderfully. Arthur had definitely just fucked his brain out.

“You sure?” He still didn’t look convince.

“Yes” Merlin had enough strength of mind to remember he didn’t properly come the first time, so Arthur didn’t know what it looked like in a partner.

“Does it happen like this every time?” He asked curious.

Merlin smiled at him and bit his earlobe, teasing. “Only if the man is a very good lover.”

“Oh” The blond blushed. “Thanks. What should I do now that you have finished?”

“Who said I am finished? You are still ready. Why don’t you keep doing what you have being doing until now?”

Arthur looked shocked, “Don’t you need to rest? I definitely needed it earlier”

“Well, for carriers is different…and this carrier is very demanding and needy, just so you now”

“I’ve noticed. But you're so small. I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You won’t, believe. Besides, I’d like it”

Noticing Arthur’s growing confusion Merlin decided it was better to show him. He flipped them, so he was straddling the blond once again.

“What are you doing?” Arthur asked.

“Stay still.” Merlin licked his chest and kept going further south.

He then smiled wickedly and, taking Arthur by surprise, took his member fully in his mouth, enjoying the gasp coming from his husband, who was holding the bed sheets tight to ground himself. Merlin took his sweet time servicing him. He moved his head up and down repeatedly, taking care of sucking and licking in the right way to cause the most pleasure. None of his previous partners had ever complained about his skill at giving head. On the contrary, they always said Merlin was just the best with a cock in his mouth.

He lifted his eyes and was happy to see Arthur’s eyes were filled with pleasure as he looked at the ceilings but was actually lost in the amazing stimulus Merlin was making him feel. Merlin knew it was the right moment to increase the game.

He slightly bit the length of the cock, just a light pressure of the teeth, not enough to hurt of course, but enough to set the already over sensitive heavy cock in his mouth of fire, and to make Arthur scream due to that delightful and delicate mix of pain and pleasure.

“Does that hurt?” Merlin asked.

“Little bit”

“Do you want me to stop?”

“No. Oh please no.”

Then Merlin continued to tear him apart with his mouth, paying attention to his balls as well, taking them in his mouth and sucking one at the time. When he felt the member spasm in a very distinct way, he knew Arthur was about to come and made sure to gift him the ultimate experience. He moved his head up, keeping only the tip between his lips. He kissed it, before inserting the tip of his warm tongue in the opening of the urethra.

“Ah…oh my _cariad_ …ah I am c-coming”

Merlin just kept sucking and swallowing, until Arthur was dried up. He let the now limp member slipping out of his mouth and looked at Arthur. The blond was panting and his skin a nice reddish colour. He was looking intensely at Merlin with pure adoration, as if he was a God. He murmured something Merlin didn’t catch.

“What did you say?”

"I thought my heart was gonna burst."

Merlin laughed and laid next to Arthur.

“Now you understand what I mean when I say I don’t mind a bit of pain during these moments”

“Oh believe me. You made your point very clear, and when my brain decides to function once again – maybe next week - I’ll show you what a good student I am”

Merlin started at the ceiling very pleased with himself. “I can’t wait.” It was true. He didn’t remember having so much fun in bed like he just had. _Not even with Alex_ , a small voice whispered from the depth of his heart, a place only Merlin could reach.

He looked at Arthur and smiled when he saw he had fallen asleep. He stood up, thirsty. When he found no water, he decided to go downstairs. It was very late in the night by then. The men should be sleeping.

He wrapped a blanket around himself and sneaked out of the room. Indeed downstairs was empty. All the guests were probably in the rooms sleeping. The room was a mess of pieces of food that some rats were cleaning up. Merlin didn’t care. He found a jar of water and grabbed it, already on the first step to return to Arthur when he heard and then saw Agravaine entering the Inn.

The Lord saw Merlin too and approached him.

“You're out late.” Merlin commented.

“Yes. I'm just back from seeing Mordred. I shared with him the happy news that you're no longer at his beck and call.”

“What did he say?”

“There are likely limits even to your tolerance for foul language, so I shall not repeat the words he chose to voice his opinion about your recent marriage”

“I don't suppose he means to take any further steps about it?”

“I shouldn't think so. He's got more important things to worry about than chasing after one stray boy, no matter how pretty”

“That's comforting to know.” Merlin said sarcastically. He turned to go upstairs, when the Lord’s next words stopped him.

“I commend you for doing your duty. But it needn't stop you from sampling other pleasures.” Agravaine stepped forward toward a shocked Merlin and caressed his cheek softly. “I find you to be the most singular boy, Merlin.”

Merlin stood back, looking at Agravaine in disgust. “I'm Arthur’s husband.”

Agravaine sneered, “Well, for…” before he could continue Gwaine walked in the room.

“Evening, Merlin, Lord Agravaine.”

“Good evening, Gwaine.” Merlin was grateful for the saving.

“Again most hearty congratulations to you on your wedding day, Merls”

Merlin smiled, “Thank you.”

“Our Arthur may no have much experience, but I have to give him credit this time. You look like well ridden, my dear”

Merlin blushed, remembering he was naked under the blanket and that his lips were most likely swollen from the recent activities.

“He is a very attentive husband. I should return to him now. Have a good night, gentlemen”

Merlin literally ran upstairs feeling Agravaine’s black eyes stabbing his back until he closed the door behind him.

Quite upset by the encounter, he sat in front of the fire, to calm his shivering. So lost in his own thoughts, he didn’t hear Arthur waking up and sitting next to him. He kissed his temple.

“Are you all right?”

Merlin turned to look at him, choosing not to tell him what had happened downstairs. “Yes. How about you?”

Arthur hummed, pretending to think hard. “Considering I just had one of the best experiences of my life, I’d say I am _very_ good”

Merlin chuckled, “Happy you enjoyed my services, your Highness”

“Can you image if you were my manservant?”

“I would have been a very bad servant”

“The worst” Arthur agreed and leaned forward to kiss Merlin deeply.

They kissed for a while, sincerely enjoying each other’s company.

When they broke the kiss they leaned against each other’s foreheads, rubbing their noses and smiling.

Arthur breathed deeply, whispering. “You, Merlin, are very…precious to me”

Merlin looked at him in the eyes, seeing he was telling nothing but the truth. The light of the fire reflecting on his face highlighted his strong lines, making him even more handsome in Merlin’s eyes.

The brunet removed the blanket covering his nakedness, feeling the warmth of the fire on his skin. He sat in Arthur’s lap, one leg on each side, and carefully took him back inside of him. He kissed the blond’s gasp. Merlin stared into his blue eyes, Arthur was smiling at him, and started to ride him. Slowly lifting himself up and down with circular movements.

Their first time had been explorative, clumsy, full of the fear they still felt of each other. Their second time had been full of uncontrolled passion and carnal desire, the pure definition of _fucking_. But this time…well, this time was full of tenderness, no rush; just the joy to be connected. To touch each other more then ever. After all, one thing they was certain of since that morning, or maybe since the moment they met, was that they felt the most peace when they were touching the other.

***

_Merlin_

Merlin woke up all of sudden, causing his magic to light the candle next to his side of the bed he was sharing with Arthur after they finally decided to go to sleep. Again he heard that ancient voice in his head. A voice that was becoming louder and louder the nearer he went to Camelot.

“Merlin? What’s wrong?” Came Arthur’s sleepy voice next to him.

“Nothing. Just a nightmare I think. Sorry for waking you up. Go back to sleep”

“Uhm” Arthur stretched and blew out the candle before laying back down with his front against Merlin’s back, acting like a big spoon. He kissed the back of his neck, whispering, “Don’t be afraid. It’s the two of us now”

Merlin smiled and went back to sleep.

_Merlin_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A dragon is calling impatiently.
> 
> Cariad means Love in Welsh. Arthur knows Cornish since it’s his mother and uncles’ mother tongue, but his main one is Welsh since he is from Camelot.
> 
> Next chapter: the new married life; Merlin doesn’t forget he has another husband as well; a very familiar lake and...maybe Camelot?


	6. Chapter 6

The next day, the newlyweds managed to escape from the inn room by using the bed sheets to lower themselves from the window.

“I am sure your uncle will be pissed about this. We were supposed to stay in the room” Merlin pointed out, as Arthur grabbed his hand and dragged him away from the inn, and hid in the woods.

“Yeah, well, I have no intention of being a prisoner during my honeymoon. Besides, we both stink”

Merlin made a face and lowered his head to smell himself. Arthur was right.

They soon reached a small lake, surrounded by trees. The sun was shining bright above them, but despite the warmish weather, Merlin wasn’t sure he was ready to bath in the wild, too used to the joys of showers or at least a warm bath. He didn’t mind wait to go back to the inn to have one draw for him. He said as much to his new husband.

Arthur only gave him a smirk. He looked like a cat ready to play with the mouse he just caught.

Merlin frowned. “You are making a weird face just now.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about. There’s nothing wrong with my face. It’s as handsome as always”

Merlin rolled his eyes. “You are such a cocky bastard”

Arthur lifted one of his eyebrow, “am I?”

Merlin nodded, “The worst”

“You say the nicest things to your husband. Let me thank you as you deserve, my darling”

Before Merlin could react, Arthur pulled him over his shoulder and, ignoring the brunet’s protests, threw him in the lake.

When Merlin resurfaced, he was scandalised. “You-you prat!!”

Arthur threw his head back and laughed aloud but stopped when Merlin splashed him in the face. “You just didn’t dare…”

“Oh yes I have, _your highness_ ”

“Well then, prepare for your punishment”

Arthur took a run and jumped into the pond, bathing Merlin like a tsunami. When they both broke the surface, they looked into each other's eyes and burst out laughing, before splashing against each other like children.

Once they were clean, they came out of the lake, hung their wet clothes on a branch to dry in the sun, and lay down on a large rock on the shore, naked. Merlin was happy of that game in the water. As silly as it was, it had served to break the awkwardness arisen between the two that morning, after the night of passion and Merlin’s realization he had cheated on his husband Alex.

“Do I look like him?” Arthur’s voice distracted him from his thoughts.

“What?”

“I’ve already told you I am aware that even after our marriage you will think of him often, regardless if you want to or not. I could see you were thinking about him this morning. Maybe feeling guilt about laying with me last night. So, please, don’t close yourself in your own head when you remember him…talk to me. Don’t make him a ghost between us. So, do we look alike?”

“No”

Arthur and Alex couldn’t be more different, both physically and in character. Alex had black hair with ice blue eyes. He was pale with a toned but not muscular body, like an athlete. Arthur was blond, with eyes the colour of the summer sky. His tanned body was muscular, the body of a warrior, shaped and worn out by adversity. Everything about Arthur screamed sunshine. Alex was more like the moon.

“Well, I have two choices now. I can keep letting you think about him or…” He leaned to kiss Merlin on the lips.

Merlin had kissed a fair number of people, some of them were good, some weren’t. However, none of them kissed like Arthur did. His delicacy was not at all hesitant, but the promise of a restrained force. A challenge and a provocation made even more extraordinary by the absence of permission. His kisses said _'I am yours. And if you want me too, then...’_

And Merlin wanted him. Oh how much he wanted this. He opened his mouth to give him more access, accepting his tongue, the challenge and the promise.

After a while of kissing, Arthur looked at him and smiled. “Or I could distract you from your thoughts. It has been a marvellous gift what you gave me last night…allow me to help you now”

“Yes” Merlin said breathless.

Arthur didn’t waste time. He rolled on top of Merlin and started to pay great attention to his nipples, sucking them like a newborn. But as nice as it was, Merlin was not a patient man. He rolled them back, so that he was on top of Arthur.

“My dear, you find me in a disadvantaged position” Arthur said.

Merlin smiled and straddled him. Slowly he took his member, which always seemed ready for Merlin, and positioned it at his entrance. Never looking away from the summer sky eyes, he lowered himself and didn’t stop until the length was all in.

Arthur moaned. “Actually, I find myself at your mercy”

“That you are, my Prince” Merlin whispered. Then he started moving, up and down, Arthur’s hands on his hips guiding his movements.

Their moans of pleasure and the sound of their fleshes meeting each other echoed in the forest. Merlin felt as if they were one of those pagan gods. His mind emptied at every thrust. A part of him had always managed to stay in control during sex with his previous partners, included Alex, but when he was with Arthur. Oh, when he was with him, he felt like a feather. It didn’t care where the wind was carrying it, just that it kept being caressed by it, up and down, left and right, pulled and pushed. When he was with Arthur, Merlin felt like he was dancing in the wind.

They both came and then laid next to each other, while catching their breath. Merlin’s head on Arthur’s chest.

“Merlin…”

“If you dare to thank me like you did last night, I’ll punch you”

Arthur chuckled, “I wasn’t. I have a question though”

“What?”

The blond lifted himself on one of his elbows, turning his body sideway so he looked at Merlin. He took one of his hands and kissed it. “Is it usual, what it is between us when I touch you, when you lie with me? Is it always so between a man and wife?”

Merlin thought he could lie, telling him what they were doing was not different from what you do and feel during a drunk shag, a one night stand, or a fuck in exchange for money, telling him (or maybe himself) _this_ , whatever was between them, was meaningless. But he couldn’t.

He had promised honesty.

“It's often something like this.” He sighed, “No, this isn't usual. It's different.” He caressed Arthur’s hand.

“How so?”

“I don’t know”

“I feel the same. I’ve never bedded a woman or a carrier before as you know, but I touched a good number of them. It was nice, sometimes my heart was about to explode, but it was nothing like when I hug or kiss you. At the beginning the sensation is the same, but then it’s as if I am touching fire itself and all I want to do is to let it burn me”

They looked at each other and squeezed the other’s hand, both scared and strangely curious about this unknown emotion.

“It’s almost sunset. Let’s go back” Arthur said.

Thankfully when they entered the inn, Agravaine and most of his men were not there, only Arthur’s knights.

“Where’s my uncle?”

“He went to collect rent from the villages around here, so not to loose too much time. By the way, Arthur, we received a letter from Galahad. He sent it to Tintagel, and your uncle Tristan sent a messenger to deliver it to us” Leon said.

“Galahad?” Arthur was surprised.

“Who’s Galahad?” Merlin asked, curious.

“He was my squire in Camelot. Last time I saw him he was still my sister’s prisoner” Arthur took the letter and read it. “Here it says he managed to escape and wants to reunite with us. He has information for us. He is hiding near the border with Camelot, where he’ll wait for us.”

There was a moment of silence while the men analysed this new development. But obviously Gwaine wasn’t one for a prolonged silence.

“Soooo, tell me, what have you two lovebirds been doing today?” He lifted an eyebrow.

“Just sleeping” Arthur answered easily. Then he smiled. “I didn’t sleep much last night…” All the knights whooped. “…this one snores a lot”

Everyone laughed and Merlin slapped Arthur’s arm, before laughing as well.

They spent the rest of the evening singing and dancing. And Merlin was touched when the Knights presented him a beautiful dagger as a wedding gift, even if he didn’t know how to use it.

Later, while they were preparing for bed, Merlin noticed Arthur putting one of his daggers under his pillow.

“You always sleep with a weapon near you. Are you sure you don’t think I am a spy?”

“Uhm, as I said, I know you are hiding something, and doesn’t matter how much I think about it, I cannot figure you out. You could definitely be a spy thou. Come on, come to bed”

“Aren’t you afraid I could kill you one day with that dagger? Since you don’t know who I really am”

Arthur said nothing for a moment, then he removed his shirt and pointed at Merlin’s new dagger with his head, before laying down on the bed with his arms crossed behind his head.

“Straight up, just below the breastbone” He advised. “Fast and neat, but mind you, it requires a lot of strength. Cutting throats is easier, but very messy with all that blood everywhere”

Merlin narrowed his eyes, “It would serve you right if I was to actually do it”

Arthur’s sly smirk increased. “My _cariad_?”

“What?”

“I would die a happy man. Now come to bed and let me make love to you”

***

They continued their journey a couple of days later. Merlin had enjoyed feeling that pleasant soreness that came with riding a horse for hours. He was happy to finally be on the road again. Only this time he had Arthur by his side, who made sure to explain all the tricks to survive in the wildness, like to always hide in the forest so that birds would advert him if someone was approaching.

It ended up being a long and tiring day of riding, so Merlin was grateful when they stopped to rest for the night. They were in the forest in a meadow surrounded by big granite rocks. One of the men had hunted a deer, and while they ate, the group sang songs and told stories around the fire.

Merlin crouched next to Arthur. They were turned towards each other. They were holding hands and just looking at each other in the eyes, smiling. Arthur’s thumb was slowly caressing Merlin’s hand, when all of sudden he leaned in and kissed him. The blond then ended the kiss but didn’t stepped back. He looked tense.

Merlin leaned closer, and whispered. “What’s going on?”

Arthur pretended to bit his earlobe only to whisper in his ear, “The horses are restless. There must be someone nearby. Don’t look around. The men know.” And indeed Merlin could see all the men were discreetly placing their hands on their swords, even as they continued to sing as if nothing was wrong. “See that fallen tree behind you? When I say, go there and don't move."

Merlin had barely comprehend what he meant, when the bandits attacked.

"Hide!" Arthur yelled. 

Merlin ran to the indicated hiding place, kneeling down. He observed the fight fascinated, especially by Arthur and his knights’ style. It was evident they had been fighting together for a long time. Their movements were in perfect harmony. It was as if they were dancing. They attacked but at the same time had each other's backs. When Gwaine was disarmed, Percival didn't hesitate a second to throw a sword at him and Gwaine grabbed it almost without looking, sure that one of his companions would help him. Agravaine's men also fought well, but they lacked the elegance of the Knights and Arthur. They were beautiful.

Now Merlin knew why they would become legends.

His contemplation was interrupted by a movement not far from him. He looked up and noticed an enemy archer perched in a tree. To Merlin's shock, he shot an arrow, aiming at Arthur. Immediately his magic reacted and stopped the arrow in midair, then turned it around and sent it back to the sender. The archer fell from the tree.

He had to assist the fight with magic a few more times before the bandits were finally defeated.

“Merlin!” Arthur ran to him as soon as the fight was over. “Are you all right?” He grabbed him by the shoulders and kissed him. Merlin couldn’t help but noticing a sweating Arthur smelt good.

“I am okay, don’t worry” He said as he as well checked Arthur for injuries.

“Let's go to rest. It has been a long day. Kay will take the first watch.” Agravaine's annoying voice echoed across the plain.

Arthur took Merlin’s hand and escorted him to where their blankets were, laying next to each other. But before he laid down, Merlin looked at the archer, fearing he had killed the man, but thankfully he didn’t. The bandit had run away.

“Come, Merlin” Arthur called him from their bed.

He laid down, with Arthur doing the big spoon against his back, and closed his eyes. He thought he would fall asleep right away, but something big against his ass was stopping him.

“You must be kidding me?”

“Sorry” Arthur murmured, not sounding sorry at all.

“Right now??”

“It always gets hard after a fight. I cannot help it” Arthur’s hands started to lower Merlin’s trousers.

“But Arthur…”

“What? Are you tired? Don’t worry, it’s so hard I won’t last long”

“No, I am not tired, but…but we are not alone. There are other 20 men around us”

“The men won’t care. At most they’ll be jealous they cannot have someone as beautiful as you” He kissed his neck while fingering him. “Oh my _cariad_ , you are so wet. Don’t you want me?”

Merlin moaned in pleasure. “Oh what the hell! All right, bring it on, cowboy” He agreed and lifted his leg to allow an easier access.

Arthur smiled, happy, and didn’t waste time before thrusting into Merlin’s heat. And as he had predicted, he didn’t last long. After a few deep thrusts he came with a groan, and then used his hands to bring Merlin to the edge as well.

“Uhm, that was very nice. You are the best, my dear” Arthur panted while clearly already falling asleep. “Merlin?”

“Yes?”

“What’s a _cowboy_?”

“One day I’ll tell you. Now go to sleep” Merlin smiled to himself, especially when he realised he didn’t mind to do it like that in the open, surrounded by other men, not even when he noticed Kay snooping.

***

The next morning saw the men packing and Gwaine cracking his back, moaning.

“Oh, yesterday fight was a nice exercise”

“You guys were amazing” Merlin complimented.

Gwaine smiled slyly. “From what I heard, you were amazing as well. Our Arthur looks so fresh this morning”

Merlin blushed fast and snapped his head toward his husband, who was yawning and scratching his belly in that moment. “You said they wouldn’t care!”

“They don’t, but I never said they wouldn’t hear”

“You are such a prat!”

“Your prat, darling”

Everyone laughed as Merlin ran after Arthur trying to punch him.

“That’s enough!” Agravaine snapped, always unhappy when Merlin and Arthur were closed. “We need to bury those filthy criminals and then get going”

After that heavy task, Gwaine had an idea.

“Someone should teach this lad how to defend himself against assailants. I can do that. I am a good man with a blade.”

“Uh, thank you all the same, but I think I'll be fine.” Merlin said in a hurry.

“Every man and woman in the world needs to know how to defend themselves, _cariad_ , especially those married to a Pendragon.” Arthur pointed out with a smile.

“I become more aware of that every day.”

Merlin stood in front of Gwaine.

“Now then, mostly, you want to use the underhand. Overhand is only good if you're coming down on someone else with a considerable force from above you. Hmm?”

“All right. So where do I aim my dagger?” Merlin asked, trying to follow.

“If you're killing face to face, here.” He touched his chest. “Aim straight up, and then, as hard as you can into the heart. Uh oh, avoid the breast bone. You get your knife stuck in that soft part on the top, you'll be without a knife.”

Merlin nodded. His knowledge of human anatomy was helping him understand.

“How to kill from behind. Now, this is the spot in the back. Either side will do. Now, you see where all the ribs and such?”

“Mm hmm.”

“Very difficult to hit anything vital when you stab in the back. Slip the knife between the ribs. Just under the last rib, you stab upward... and into the kidney. Straight up. They'll drop like a stone.”

They practiced for a while, all the knights enjoying themselves assisting in the training. Merlin was grateful. He definitely felt safer in that new wild world after this basic lesson.

Later, when they stopped for lunch, Merlin saw Arthur whispering something to Agravaine and then he dragged Merlin away. As soon as they were far away from the group he pushed him to the ground and climbed on top of him.

“Won’t they come looking for us?” Merlin asked.

“I told my uncle we need to find some more of your herbs.”

“And did he believe you?”

“Never a chance.” He started to kiss him on the lips, neck and down on his chest and then back up again. “Does it ever stop, the wanting you?” He moaned deeply when he entered him and thrusted repeatedly. “I feel like god himself when I'm inside you.”

Merlin couldn’t help but laugh at that.

“What? Is that a foolish thing to say? You're laughing at me.”

“Yes, I most certainly am.” Merlin confirmed while throwing his head back and laughing aloud.

“And you'll get what you deserve. I’ll be like a beast. Do you want me to be like a horse, a dog or a bear?” 

“Like a hedgehog”

Arthur frowned, perplexed. “A hedgehog? Why? How do hedgehogs have sex?”

Merlin giggled, “ _Very_ carefully”

Arthur laughed out loud, looking at Merlin with adoration. 

"What?" Merlin asked, caressing Arthur’s cheek with a thumb. 

Arthur shook his head and kissed Merlin’s palm, "I can't believe you're mine" The blond admitted before launching into a series of merciless thrusts with the clear intention of getting into Merlin as deeply as possible.

Merlin put his arms around his neck and moaned. He instinctively spread his legs even more and welcomed Arthur inside himself with naturalness and pleasure. He took the blond’s head and pushed it against his neck that he was more than happy to bite and kiss. Merlin closed his eyes to enjoy every sensation. The darkness behind his eyelids was warm and pulsating.

But then all of a sudden Arthur's weight was abruptly removed from above him. Two armed men dressed in rags had him.

“Get up, you rutting bastard.” One of them ordered and put his sword agains Arthur’s neck.

“You might have let him finish first, Harry. Stopping in the middle, now, that's bad for a man's health.” The other laughed.

Harry smirked. “Oh, his health's no concern of mine. It won't be any concern of his for much longer.” He looked into Arthur’s eyes. “You and your men killed my friends last night. I am not happy about it”

“Well, kill him, and be done with it then, 'cause I've a mind to take a piece of that.” The second man pointed toward Merlin, still on the ground, with a creepy smile.

Merlin’s eyes widened, while Arthur struggled.

“No...I think I'll let him watch first. You like that, you blondie whoreson?” He laughed at Arthur’s insults and threats, and lowered his trousers in front of Merlin. “Take a good look, laddybuck, see how it's done, 'cause I'll have your slut moaning for more before the hour is done.”

He quickly grabbed Merlin’s legs and forcefully spread them, ignoring the brunet’s protests and struggles.

“No! Aah! Aah! Let me go! You bastard!” Merlin screamed, unable to remove the man from on top of him. He could feel his hard member pressing against his entrance, still wet from his moments with Arthur earlier.

He was so scared. All of sudden it was as if time slowed down and his ears turned deaf. His mind was running at the speed of light. He could vaguely hear Arthur trying and failing to get free. And because he was there, Merlin couldn’t use magic, however he managed to grab the dagger the Knights had gifted him and, barely understanding what he was about to do, he pushed the blade from the back between the man’s ribs, piercing his kidney accurately. Years of medical experience taught him exactly where to stab.

As predicted, the man fall dead on top of him right away. His companion must have noticed something was wrong with his friend because he screamed and turned away from his captive. Arthur didn’t hesitate. He grabbed Harry’s sword and killed him, fast, mercilessly.

The blond ran to his husband and removed the dead man from him. “Merlin!!”

He helped him to sit up and noticed right away how pale and shaken he was. It seemed he hadn’t noticed Arthur yet. He was staring at his hands, covered in blood. Arthur understood. It was his first killing. He put his hands at Merlin’s cheeks and lifted his head to finally gain his attention. His eyes were empty. Arthur was freaking out.

“Merlin, my cariad. Forgive me.” He whispered against his temples. “Sorry. I'm so sorry, my love”

“It's all right.” Merlin’s far away voice whispered back. It didn’t look like he was aware he was speaking, still too intent studying his bloody hands. It was as if he was talking to himself. “We're all right.”

Arthur shook his head, now his forehead against Merlin’s. He was crying. “My fault. To bring you here without taking proper heat, and to let you be...to not stop him.”

“It's all right.” Merlin whispered again.

“And here, you're so cold.” Arthur put his cape around the brunet’s shaking form. “Your hands are like ice.”

“Arthur!” Agravaine and the men were running toward them.

“Stay here, Merlin” Arthur went to the men, who had heard Merlin’s screams earlier and decided to come and check if they were okay.

“It's shock. You are all right” Merlin kept murmuring to himself. He stood up, shaking and cold, and started to pace, while looking at his hands. “I'm going into shock. I'm going into shock. It's all right. You need to calm down”

His mind jumped and danced from thought to thought, like a stone skipping across a pond. His kind mother kissing his forehead before school; his unknown father; the men he’d seen die; the smell of Alex’s cigarettes; Jack Sparrow swinging on a rope on his pirate ship; the feeling of his dagger tip puncturing the kidney.

Merlin breathed deeply and finally looked away from his hands to look at the blue sky. He had just killed a man for the first time. He, who had sworn to heal people, had taken a life with his bare hands.

Bitter tears silently fell from his eyes.

He looked toward Arthur and his heart broke. He knew he was worried about him, knew he wanted to talk about what had happened, but Merlin knew if he did, if he started giving rein to his feelings, things would pour out of him that he wanted to keep locked away forever.

“It's shock. It's all right. It's all right.”

***

Merlin didn’t remember getting on his horse. He didn’t remember riding away, or even how long they rode. All he was aware of in that moment was that he was angry, and he didn't know why.

It took him a while to realise they stopped.

“Why are we stopping?”

“You'll have to stay here with Lancelot.” Arthur informed him.

“What?”

“We are near the place where we have to meet Galahad. It may be a trap. I'll no risk you again. You'll be safer here with Lancelot to look out for you.”

Merlin frowned and snarled. “I don't need protection. You can take Lance with you. I can look after myself. I think I've proven that earlier.”

Arthur’s eyes softened. “You needn't prove it again. Please, my love, stay here. I'll be back, I promise.”

“You shouldn't make promises you can't keep.” Merlin knew it was a low blow from his part to remind Arthur he failed to protect him earlier despite his promise to do so, and regretted his words when he saw Arthur’s eyes turning sad.

“This one I will keep, Merlin. Now, you promise me you'll stay put.” Merlin just stared at him, stubborn. “Promise me. Swear you'll be here when I get back.” Arthur pressed.

“Fine, I promise!”

“Good.”

As he watched Arthur and the men riding away, the reason for his bitterness became clear to him. He wasn't angry at Arthur or the bandits. He was angry at himself for forgetting about his plan to make his way back to the Lake, his plan to return to his own time, to his husband, Alex.

After about half an hour he turned to Lancelot, “If you need me, I'll just be taking care of some personal business.”

“You shouldn’t go far from me, Merl”

“I have to pee! Do you want to come and watch me?”

Lancelot blushed and looked down. “No, sorry. Go ahead. Just...be careful, please”

Merlin nodded and walked away. He was sorry for lying to Lance, but he really needed to walk by himself for awhile.

He tried to avoid thinking about the incident in the meadow, but his mind kept returning to it, again, and again.

He walked and walked, removing branches from his path. And suddenly, there it was...

The Lake of Avalon.

His mind had been so clouded and confused, he didn't recognize the road when they rode in. There was no mistaking it.

He was back to the place where it had all begun.

So much had happened. So much had changed.

Last he was here, he was Merlin Druidson, then Merlin Emerson, then Merlin Pendragon.

The question was... who did he want to be?

_Merlin._

_Merlin._

_Merlin!_

_Where are you, Merlin?_

Merlin’s heart stopped, that was Alex’s voice. It was coming from the lake.

“Alex!”

He ran and kneeled at the shore. He looked down at the water and at the beginning he could only see his own reflection but then it changed. He saw Alex back in his time looking around in desperation screaming his name. It was clear Merlin was seeing what his husband was doing in that moment in 2019. He was looking for Merlin.

“Alex! I am here!” Merlin screamed.

Alex clearly couldn’t see or hear him, so Merlin stood up and prepared himself to enter the lake like he did when he came here. He knew he had to hurry before Agravaine and Arthur’s return.

His heart did a somersault at the thought of Arthur. How could he do that to him? Leave him without an explanation. Disappearing without a trace after everything. He shook his head. After his disappearance, Arthur would forget him, and would remarry. 

Absurdly that idea shocked him as much as leaving him. He cursed his idiocy. He wiped his tears and shook his head again. He had to go. He had to go home. He hoped Arthur would forget him, but there at that moment Merlin swore that he would never forget him, but for now he had to get him out of his head.

He stepped forward, but before he could put even a foot in the water, soldiers came out from nowhere. They were wearing a red Rowan tree crest on their armour. They were the knights of the Queen of Camelot.

“We’ve found a boy that looks like the one Lord Mordred is looking for. Let’s go!”

They sized Merlin by the arms and started to drag him toward a carriage with a cage on it.

“No!! Let go of me! No!”

It was useless. The cage door was closed and the group rode away. Merlin knew where they were going without having to ask.

Camelot.

Arthur’s kingdom and hometown. The place were his sister betrayed him, where his father was executed and from where he was forced to run to save his life.

Merlin had forgotten that the lake was passed the border between the De Bois’s lands and Camelot. It was here he had met Mordred for the first time.

His heart broke.

Camelot was also Mordred’s kingdom.

Merlin hope that monster would have no advance notice of his capture. No time to plan his interrogation.

Merlin, on the other hand, had the entire jolting journey in the back of the wagon to think. It was his one advantage. He prayed it would be enough.

***

Merlin's half-sleep was abruptly interrupted when the wagon stopped. He felt very tired. He hadn’t received much food or water in the past few days. He guessed Arthur had been right when he mentioned Morgana’s army was immortal. They never ate, drank or slept. And another reason why during the trip he had never been able to really sleep was because of what he had seen. Each village they had passed through was the image of misery, poverty, starvation. The children were dirty, clothed in rags, malnourished and so sad. The adults were even worse off. Everyone's eyes were lifeless. It was like this in every village in the kingdom.

When the chariot stopped in front of the main gate of the city, Merlin looked around and gasped when he saw the magnificent castle with white towers. The castle of Camelot. The legendary castle of King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table, described by minstrels during the centuries as splendid, surreal and full of magic. But what Merlin was seeing was not a legendary place. Oh, the architecture was impressive, but he felt in his bones that something was wrong. The atmosphere was wrong. It was as if the castle, like the kingdom, was suffocating. The magic of this land was poisoned, polluted. And something told Merlin that the queen and her followers were responsible for it.

An additional proof of this were the conditions of the lower town once crossed the gate. The people were miserable, skinny, in rags. Merlin’s heart broke at seeing what was happening to Arthur’s beloved subjects.

The wagon stopped in the courtyard, which, to Merlin’s horror, was full of pillories with dead people hanged and stakes with charred corpses still smoking. The urge to vomit was strong.

The soldiers dragged him out of the cell to take him to the prisons. But before he disappeared into the dungeons, Merlin had the sensation of being watched. He looked back and saw a man on the balcony watching him. The man was tall, with long brown hair and beard with gray locks in it. But before Merlin could observe more, he was taken away.

He was thrown in one of the cells and the guard told him to stay put while they went to inform Lord Mordred of his capture.

Merlin groaned at that and clenched the straw on the floor in frustration. “Nice welcome to Camelot I suppose” He told himself sarcastically.

Okay, he had to do something. If Mordred arrived it was over for him. He extended his arm toward the cell door and whispered a spell. The door opened right away.

He took a deep breath and escaped, making sure to hide if guards were passing by, and when he didn’t manage to hide in time he realised that with a quick spell he could put them out. It was nice to know they may not die, but could still fall unconscious. He didn’t know where he was going exactly but at a certain point he found other cells, fully occupied by muscular men.

They all stood up when they saw him.

“Who are you?” One asked.

“I’m Merlin. Who are _you_?” He asked looking at the man up and down.

He frowned. “I am Sir Bedivere, knight of Camelot. These are my brothers in arms” He pointed toward the rest of the men.

Merlin’s eyes widened. “If you are knights of Camelot, why are you treated like prisoners?”

“Because we chose to stay loyal to the true King of Camelot, Arthur Pendragon, now that king Uther is dead!” He snarled.

“What about the current queen? As far as I know, she is king Uther’s child as well” Merlin pressed, needing to be sure about their loyalty.

“We bear no love or loyalty for that usurper and backstabber. Lady Morgana used to be so kind and compassionate, but now she is only a corrupted untrustworthy monster! Arthur Pendragon is our true king”

“Thank you for your loyalty to Arthur. I am sure he appreciates it more than you’ll ever know”

The knights grabbed the cell bars, “You know him? You know where he is?”

“He is alive and well. Some of you managed to free him”

Bedivere nodded. “Yes, we organised his escape. It was not easy. These of us that stayed behind paid for it” He turned around and lifted his shirt showing the whip scars covering his back like a net. Other knights showed him the same and other scars due to torture. Merlin knew they would never truly heal.

“Oh…” Merlin whispered.

“Do not fear, boy…it was worthy it” Bedivere smiled.

Merlin smiled in returned and turned toward one of the unconscious soldiers. He looked around until he found the keys of the cells and started to open them, freeing the knights.

“Be careful. If you meet the soldiers, do not engage them in a fight, just knock them out. We must travel southwest. There, in the De Bois lands you’ll find Arthur” Merlin would change path once back near the Lake.

The knights exited the cells and Bedivere approached him cautiously. “Who are you? How do you know our king?”

Merlin blushed and started to scratch the back of his head. He chuckled. “Well, I actually happen to be his husband” He lifted his hand to show the wedding ring.

Immediately all the men fell on their knees, “Your Highness” They echoed.

“Only cow, no no, please, stand up. Don’t do that. I am not royalty” Merlin panicked.

They awkwardly stood up.

“You’re our king’s spouse. That means you’re our queen and the future mother of our future king or queen” Bedivere pointed out.

Merlin laughed awkwardly, “I understand your point of view, but, please, I don’t want to be treated like that. Please, I just want to be Merlin”

The knights reluctantly conceded and started to move toward a secret passage. Merlin followed them.

_Merlin_

The brunet stopped right away and turned to see who was calling him.

No one was there.

He stepped forward.

_Merlin_

Again, no one. But his magic was telling him to follow the voice.

“Lord Merlin? We have to go” Bedivere said.

“You go ahead. I have to check something”

“One of us should come with you”

“No, you go on…”

“But…”

“Please. Don’t worry. I’ll be just behind you in a moment. You go” Merlin insisted.

Bedivere reluctantly agreed and followed his companions, while Merlin followed the voice.

It was leading him deeper and deeper under the castle. When it became too dark he used magic to light a torch. He followed the stairs down until he reached the opening on a huge cave.

Merlin looked around for the owner of the voice. A voice he had been hearing for a long time now.

“Where are you?” He shouted in the cave.

Then, all of sudden, a Great golden Dragon flew near him to land in front of him.

“I'm here. How small you are for such a great destiny.”

Merlin was speechless for a moment, unable to believe a dragon stood before him. A dragon. Of all the things he saw since falling through time, this was by far the most amazing and unbelievable, what made him fully see how far from his world he was. A dragon. His favourite animal when he was a child. The embodiment of all that magic was.

“You are a dragon! Are you real? What destiny are you talking about?”

The dragon chuckled, amused. “Yes, I am as real as you, young warlock. You can call me Kilgharrah. Your gift, Merlin, was given to you for a reason.”

“So there is a reason.”

Kilgharrah nodded, “Arthur is the Once and Future King who will unite the land of Albion. But he faces many threats from friend and foe alike.”

“I don't see what this has to do with me.”

“Everything. Without you, Arthur will never succeed. Without you, there will be no Albion.”

“No. No, you've got this wrong. I shouldn’t be here. I don’t belong here!”

“There is no right or wrong, only what is and what isn't. Destiny brought you here”

“But I'm serious! I cannot be here. I already have someone waiting for me at home. I need to go back to him. I...I want to go back to him.”

Kilgharrah laughed, “None of us can choose our destiny, Merlin, and none of us can escape it. Arthur needs you by his side”

“No, he doesn’t. It’s already over. He’s not king. He lost the war”

“Perhaps it's your destiny to change that.”

Merlin frowned, “What are you…”

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!” A voice bombed.

A man appeared out of nowhere. Merlin recognised him right away as the man he saw on the balcony before he was taken to the dungeons.

“I asked you a question, boy, what are you doing here?”

“He called me” Merlin pointed toward the dragon.

The man turned around to look at the dragon. “Why would you do that?”

Kilgharrah chuckled, “You cannot feel it? I am very disappointed in you, Balinor. You fell lower than I thought. He is kin”

Balinor frowned and snapped. “Watch your words, dragon. Remember who your lord is”

“And you remember who _you_ should serve”

Merlin looked between the two, unsure of what was going on. He cleared his throat. “Ehm, excuse me. What’s going on?”

“None of your business, boy.”

“It is his business. He is Emrys after all and his destiny with the Once and Future King, Arthur Pendragon, has already begun”

“Emrys?” Merlin asked confused.

“That’s your name” Kilgharrah explained.

“I am quite sure my name is Merlin, always has been.”

Before the dragon could talk, Balinor intervened, “Are you saying this is Emrys??” He turned to Merlin. “And you know Pendragon?”

“Yup, he is my husband” He was kind of fed up to have to repeat that to everyone.

“You see, Balinor? The prophecy is already enfolding”

“So what? You know I hate Pendragons. They are not to be trusted”

Merlin frowned. “You seem to know a lot about us. But who are you?”

“My name is Balinor, last DragonLord, and advisor of the queen. I used to be friend of Uther Pendragon, before the Great Purge. But when Uther started his war against all that was magic, he pursued me! He hunted me like an animal! Then he asked me to use my power to bring the last dragon to Camelot.” He pointed to Kilgharrah. “He said he wanted to make peace with it, but he did not! He lied to me! He betrayed me! He imprisoned Kilgharrah in this cave for twenty years. Then he killed every one of my kind! I alone escaped! Gaius’s, the former Physician, helped me, and told me to ran to a small village, where his niece lived.” He looked down, sad. “I had a life there. A woman. A good woman. Why would he not let me be? What was it that I had done that he wanted to destroy the life I built, abandon the woman I loved? He sent knights to kill me. I was forced to flee! After Uther’s fall I looked for my wife, but she was gone. I was never able to find her again. Now you know why I hate Pendragons like your husband. I decided to join Morgana, as finally Camelot had a ruler with magic. I freed Kilgharrah and gave her mine and Kilgharrah’s support”

Merlin’s heart broke for Balinor’s sad story. He could see the man was full of resentment. “I’m sorry for what was done to you and your family. But then, why are you here with Morgana Pendragon, Uther’s daughter?”

“She has magic. She freed us from her father’s tyranny. Kilgharrah may believe that Arthur Pendragon is the Once and Future King, but I don’t believe in that anymore”

“You mean _you_ gave _your_ loyalty to her, but the witch will never have mine!! I am here because I have no choice but to follow your orders. You…” Kilgharrah thundered.

Balinor interrupted him in a language unknown to Merlin, but that made his body shiver. It sounded like a command because Kilgharrah hissed at him before flying away.

“What was that?”

“Dragon tongue. I am a DragonLord. It means that when I speak this language a dragon must obey me”

“Oh, wow…that’s cool.”

“You should go as well…you shouldn’t be here. The queen soldiers are looking for you. I must take you back”

“You know, I don’t think you’re right about Morgana”

Balinor frowned, “What do you mean? You don’t even know her”

“I don’t need to know her to know she is not very nice. I just had to observe the status of her kingdom. Everyone here is so sad and miserable, as if they were dead inside. I believe that the quality of a sovereign is shown by their subjects and their happiness. This Morgana may have the greatest magic powers in the world but it’s clear she is not using them for the good of her people”

Balinor was speechless. Merlin reminded him of himself of long time ago, before he lost everything. So idealistic, so full of hope, so naïve.

“And you think Arthur Pendragon is better?” He asked sceptical.

Merlin shrugged, “I honestly don’t know if he’d be a better ruler than Morgana, but when he speaks of this kingdom and its people his eyes are warm and full of love. That must count for something. He has a kind heart, even if he’s a prat, mind you”

He couldn’t understand what the strange look that came over Balinor’s eyes at the word _prat_ meant.

“Prat?” The DragonLord asked with a chocked voice. “Where did you learn that word?”

“Oh, my mother used it all the time, especially when talking about royals and nobles in general” Merlin’s mouth stretched wide in one of his bright breathtaking smiles at the thought of his late mother. “She also used to say that nobility is defined by what you do, not by who you are. That’s why my opinion of Morgana is not that great. I can see what she is not doing, taking care of her people, regardless of who she is…”

Merlin didn’t realise Balinor had gasped and was not listening to him anymore, too lost in memories he had locked in his heart long time ago. Someone else used to tell him exactly the same thing and used to have that same beautiful smile which stole his heart before he could even realise it. The love of his life.

_“You know, you cannot address me like that!” Balinor pointed out in fake arrogance._

_“Look, I told you you’re a prat, I just didn’t realise you are a royal one, My Lord” The sweet voice of the girl he was falling deeply in love with said with a mocking bow._

_She looked up and smiled at the man her uncle Gaius had asked her to hide with a smile that could brighten up the darkest room to let him know she was just playing with him, with not malice._

_Balinor was mesmerised by the beauty of that smile and her sea blue eyes, and smiled in return, enjoying this witty little but strong willed woman. He continued their banter, loving every second of it. “I am from one of the oldest noble families of our lands, my dear, so how dare you speak to a Lord in that way?”_

_“Nobility is defined by what you do, not by who you are” She answered with a small smile. “I’ve seen more chivalry in some farmers who take care of their lands and family from dawn to dusk than in the richest kings. Powers should be used for good”_

_Balinor approached her and sweetly caressed her cheek. He put a flower in her ebony hair. “My dear, you are not only beautiful but also very wise. Every Lord would be lucky to have you by his side”_

_She smiled, “Are you proposing, Lord Balinor?”_

_“Maybe.” He lifted his eyebrows. “Pretending I am, would you say yes? Would you be mine?”_

_“Only if you can catch me”_

_She sprinted away, laughing aloud while she ran among the high grass of the meadow not far from her village. Balinor didn’t hesitate to run after her, laughing as well. He may have been a fugitive, and yet, there with her, he’d never felt more free._

_Later, they sat on the ground under the shadow of a oak, watching the sunset._

_“Oh, look, Balinor, a merlin!” She pointed a finger toward a high branch, where indeed a small hawk was resting. “It’s beautiful.” She chuckled. “Merlin. It’s actually a nice name for a son, don’t you think?”_

_He smiled, “Indeed it is, my dear Hunith”_

“Lord Balinor? Hey, can you hear me?”

Balinor returned to reality at finally hearing Merlin’s worried voice after he had been unresponsive all of sudden. Balinor noticed he had unconsciously put a hand over his heart, which had started to beat faster and faster after being dead for more than twenty years.

“Are you alright?” Merlin asked, still very worried about the man. He knew he was technically an enemy but he couldn’t help but feel a connection with him.

He jumped out of his skin when all of sudden the lord grabbed his shoulders. His eyes looked a bit crazy.

“Please, tell me, who is your…?”

“Ah, Lord Balinor, you’ve found our guest!” A voice that Merlin had hoped to never hear again echoed in the cave.

Both men turned toward it and found Mordred at the entrance of the cave. He was smirking at them, and of course couldn’t take his eyes away from Merlin. He signed to the soldiers with him to take Merlin.

Balinor stepped back, still in shock, as he watched the guards grabbing Merlin’s arms and Mordred approaching him with a evil smile.

“Hello, my dear. I am so happy to have you here with me” He grabbed Merlin’s chin and pressed his thumb against his lusty lips. “I know exactly what we could do together. Let’s go to my chambers, to _talk_ ”

Merlin tried to fight but he knew it was useless. But before he was taken away, Balinor asked him a strange question.

“Boy, what’s your mother’s name?”

Merlin turned to him, frowning. Mordred was confused as well. But then he shrugged. He couldn’t see any harm in revealing that information. Sadly his mother was long gone.

“Hunith. My mother’s name was Hunith”

He let himself being taken away, not knowing to have just completely shaken the life of the DragonLord.

***

“Felicitations and congratulations on your recent marriage. Though I am not particularly happy the wedding didn’t have me as the groom.” Mordred said as he circled around Merlin, who was sat on a chair in Mordred’s bedroom. Apparently when Morgana took over, Mordred decided to reside in the crown prince’s chambers, hence this used to be Arthur’s room. Merlin felt strange being there.

“On the other hand, I am very happy with my chosen husband” Merlin talked back.

“Uhm, why would Agravaine De Bois consider you of such value, that he would rather adopt you as one of his own than allow me to question you?”

“I am sure I have no idea what you're talking about.” Merlin rolled his eyes.

“Really?”

“Really. Maybe he just likes me”

“That is the single most amusing thing I've heard all week.”

“So I take it you haven't been amusing yourself by flogging some innocent prisoners then?” Merlin snapped, unable to forget what he did to the knights in the cells.

Mordred laughed, “Amusing myself? What an odd thing to say. I consider flogging a very serious matter, a fitting punishment for those working against my aunt and my mother. It’s a pity they are away right now. I would have loved to introduce my future wife to them. But before they come back, I fully intend by any means necessary to discover both your true nature and the secrets that you hold, and of course to make you forget that husband of yours”.

He opened a drawer and took a rope out of it.

“What kind of gentleman keeps a rope at his desk?” Merlin asked with a touch of fear. He tried to reach his magic but for some reason he couldn’t sense it. He guessed Mordred had put a sort of barrier where no one could use magic but him in this room.

“A prepared one, my darling. Now, start to talk, while I enjoy your beautiful body”

Immediately Merlin stood up and tried to run, but Mordred trapped him against his chest and quickly tied his hands up behind his back, and threw him on the bed.

“Help, somebody! Help me!” Merlin screamed.

Mordred chuckled, as he tore Merlin’s shirt up, and started to kiss his exposed chest. “Yes. You have a lovely voice. Soon I’ll have you scream in pleasure”

“You are going to regret this.” Merlin snapped, struggling.

“I doubt it. My, my. Your rosy opening is basically calling my name. It can’t wait to be filled with my essence” Mordred had lowered Merlin’s pants and, after licking his lips, was about to insert a finger in his rim.

“No, stop. Help!”

Then, all of sudden, the windows exploded, pulverising the glass, following a ferocious roar. The two brunets on the bed turned their heads in that direction and Merlin's breath was taken away. Outside the window, Kilgharrah was flying in midair, but the most surprising thing was not the dragon, but his rider.

Arthur!

Arthur’s eyes seemed on fire when he looked at Mordred with pure hate. He lifted his sword. He looked majestic on top of a dragon.

“I'll thank you to take your hands off my husband.”

 _Good god_. Merlin thought.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like for my beloved readers before reading this chapter to keep in mind the story is set in the Middle Age, so some male behaviours that we condemn today were ‘normal’ back there.

Mordred was paralysed for a moment, as if he couldn't believe his eyes. He lifted Merlin and pressed his back against his chest. He looked toward the window and paused again for a moment with his eyes fixed in amazement, then laughed.

“Agravaine De Bois neglected to mention that you married the runaway former prince of this kingdom, Uther’s evil spawn” He told Merlin, even if his eyes were always on Arthur. He tried not to show how unsettled he felt at seeing a magicless Arthur on top of the Great Dragon.

“Let. Him. Go!” Arthur snarled after jumping off the dragon and inside his former bed chambers.

“Or what? What’re gonna do to me?” Mordred smirked, knowing Arthur couldn’t defeat him without magic.

“You have no idea. Let my husband go!” Arthur raised his sword.

Mordred smiled and started to caress one of Merlin’s breasts. “I don’t think I will. You know, I like him very much, and I looked everywhere for him.” He scoffed. “It seems that we have more in common that you think, Arthur. We are related through Morgana; we share the same title of prince of the same kingdom; I am living the life you were supposed to live; and we like the same man”

“I'll cut off your balls, I swear.” Arthur advanced.

“You are a foulmouthed scold. Your recent life as an outlawed changed even old precious golden Prince Arthur” He laughed.

Arthur continued to step forward but knew he had to find a way to force Mordred to lower his guard. He couldn’t attack directly, Mordred’s magic would stop him right away, and he also didn’t want risking hurting Merlin.

What to do?

Mordred smiled. “Nothing to say? You’re not fun. Well, I was busy before you arrived, my dear Arthur. If you don’t mind, I'd like to resume what I was doing, before taking care of you." He blocked the blond with magic, "I have an even better idea. Why don't you look instead? You won't be able to be at our wedding because you will already be dead, but at least I can show you what the wedding night will be like"

Merlin panicked as Mordred’s hand travelled south and he looked at Arthur’s frustrated eyes.

Then all of sudden, Mordred was thrown away from Merlin and against the wall. He fell on the floor unconscious, and the effect of his magic on Arthur disappeared.

The two men looked at each other before running to embrace each other to comfort the other that they were okay.

“What happened?” Merlin asked looking at the unconscious Mordred in confusion.

“That would be because of me” A voice said behind them.

The boys turned around and to their surprised Balinor stood at the door, his hand still lifted from when he used magic to attack Mordred.

“You? Why?” Merlin asked, confused. He understood Balinor was loyal to Morgana and her followers, first of all her nephew. What changed? And why was Balinor looking at him like that? With a sort of longing as his eyes rested on him.

“Let’s just say my loyalty has changed due to personal circumstances.” The DragonLord vaguely explained.

Merlin wanted to ask more but Arthur grabbed his hand. “Merlin, we must go. This place is about to fill up with immortal soldiers! Our men distracted them for as long as possible to allow me to sneak in, but they left soon after”

“He’s right” Balinor nodded. “Let’s go!”

He ran toward the destroyed window, followed closely by the two boys. They climbed on Kilgharrah’s back, who flew away right away.

Merlin was fascinated by the experience of flying. Of course, he had flown on airplanes hundreds of times, sometimes with such questionable airlines that the plane shook more than Kilgharrah. But nothing could be compared to flying on a dragon, feeling its powerful muscles beneath his own and its strong scales against the skin. It was similar to riding a horse, but a thousand times more breathtaking. The cold evening air filled his lungs with life. There was a beautiful sunset in front of them, the forest and lakes below covered in pink and orange light. Merlin could not resist. He spread his arms wide and screamed at the top of his lungs, laughing. Kilgharrah laughed with him, while Balinor and Arthur remained serious. Balinor because he was apparently born that way. Arthur because he was actually freaking out in that moment, flying.

They landed in a meadow on the border between Camelot and Cornwall and decided to camp there, too tired to continue after that crazy day. Kilgharrah flew away to hunt his own food.

The atmosphere was awkward in that strange group, no one knew what to say or how to behave with the other. The silence was interrupted when Balinor offered to go and collect some firewood. Merlin decided to follow him, still in need of answers.

“Why have you saved us?” He asked immediately when he reached the older man.

He didn’t answer him right away and kept his head down, eyes looking at nothing. Then Merlin saw him taking a deep breath and looking back at him with a soft gaze that shocked the brunet, not expecting that from a man he had come to perceive as strict and cold.

“How could I not save you? You are all I have left of my beloved Hunith" Balinor confessed.

Merlin couldn’t breath and to be honest his brain couldn’t even understand what he was just told. “Hunith?”

Balinor nodded. “That’s the name of the love of my life. The woman I had to leave to keep her safe from Uther”

Merlin shook his head in denial. “No, no, no. I don’t believe you. Your Hunith must be someone else than my mother”

He saw Balinor gulping. “You tell me then”

Balinor closed his hand in a fist and whispered something in an ancient language, his eyes turning gold for a moment. Then he extended the hand toward Merlin and opened it. Sparks of fire laid on his palm, then they were lifted by magic and shaped into a face. The face of a woman Merlin knew too well and missed every day.

“This is my Hunith. Is she your mother?”

“Yes” Merlin conformed with a broken voice. That was definitely his beloved mother. Younger than what he remembered her, but he would never forget those gentle eyes and warm smile.

Balinor took a deep breath, nodding. “Has she ever got married?”

“No. She always told me there was only one man in her heart, my father”

Balinor closed his eyes and put the hand holding Hunith image against his heart as to show he felt the same.

“Are you?” Merlin asked in a mix of fear and trepidation. “Are you my father?”

Balinor stared at him, before showing a small smile. “I believe so”

Merlin let go of a breath he didn’t even know he was holding. “How is that possible? I am not from here. You see…I was born in 1992.”

Balinor frowned in confusion for a moment, but then his expression relaxed in understanding. “I am not sure, but I think that when Hunith found out she was with child she knew you would never be safe here due to your heritage. So she went far away. On her away she must have stopped at the Lake of Avalon, one of the few passages to new worlds, guarded by the Lady of the Lake. She is a devoted servant of the Triple Goddess. She must have known Hunith was expecting Emrys and took her to a safe place…Now I know why I couldn’t find your mother anywhere no matter how long and far I searched”

“And that Lady of the Lake must have taken me back here. I saw a woman in the lake before falling through time”

“Yes. To fulfil your destiny”

Merlin was overwhelmed by an endless amount of emotions, too many to deal with. “What now?” He asked genuinely not knowing what to do next.

“I don’t know what it is to have a son”

“Or I a father”

The two just took each other in in silence for a moment. Both overwhelmed. Then slowly and with a bit of fear, they hugged each other, and somehow it felt right. It was as if both had finally found the missing piece in their life.

When they separated Balinor asked, “How’s Hunith?”

Merlin looked down, sad. “Unfortunately she died a few years ago. She didn’t suffer. She died in her sleep. I am sorry.”

He couldn’t decipher the man's expression, but he could feel in the energy around them that Balinor was heartbroken. 

Balinor approached him and gave him the firewood. "Go back to the camp. Your husband must be worried"

“What about you?” Merlin asked concerned.

Balinor smiled sadly. “I need a few moments alone. I want to pray for her soul”

Merlin nodded, and before he disappeared in the woods back to the camp he looked back to his father. Balinor had kneeled down, he had his hands and forehead flat on the ground. He was whispering something. He was praying. He was mourning.

Merlin returned to the camp and passed the woods to Arthur, who took no time starting a fire.

“You took your sweet time with that sorcerer” Arthur pointed out irritating.

Merlin tightened his lips and took a deep breath. “I was just thanking him for saving us”

“Uhm”

“Arthur, what’s wrong?” Merlin tried to touch his arm but the blond stood up right away before he could make contact.

“I am going to the river to collect water”

Merlin couldn’t understand why he looked so pissed. He thought it may be a temporary mood, but Arthur’s irritation lasted long after his and Balinor’s return, and during dinner.

“So Lord Balinor, have you decided to betray my sister?”

“Clearly”

“Why? You’re a sorcerer”

“True. But, I am also a man who just remembered what’s truly important”

It was clear Arthur had no idea what he was talking about, but for now he just shrugged. “Then, tell me more about the immortal army. Tell me about the Cup of Life”

“How do you know about it?” The DragonLord asked.

“One of my knights managed to escape from the dungeons and told me that Cup is the source of my sister’s army, but he knows nothing of magic so he couldn’t tell me more than that”

Balinor nodded. “The Cup of Life is an ancient relic of the Old Religion. It gives the power of life and death. What Morgause did was putting blood of Cenred’s army in the Cup, making the men immortal. She controls the army completely.”

“How do you defeat an immortal army?” Merlin asked.

“You need to empty the Cup of the blood it contains. Do that and the army will disappear and the power of the sorceress disintegrated”

Merlin could see Arthur thinking intensely, but then decided he was too tired to think clearly and preferred to go to bed. Merlin stood up to follow him, but to his surprise Arthur shook his head and went to sleep far from the brunet.

Merlin wanted to find out his husband’s problem, but he also wanted to be with his father as much as possible. He sat near the man, who smiled sweetly at him.

“You have your mother’s kindness. I see her in you”

Merlin blushed. “How do you become a dragonlord?”

“You don't choose to become a dragonlord. It's not something you're taught. It's a sacred gift. For thousands of years it's been handed down from father to son. And that is what you must now become, Merlin.”

“I would like that.”

“And like all dragonlords, you won't know for sure that you have that power until you face your first dragon.” He smiled at him. “You should get some sleep. We've a big day ahead of us. Goodnight, Son.”

“Sleep well, Father.” He smiled wide and pleased.

***

Merlin woke up the next day when he felt Arthur grabbing him from behind, covering his mouth.

“Morgana’s men.” Arthur whispered.

He drew his sword and the soldiers attacked. The three of them got separated. Merlin used the small dagger and discretely his magic but soon got disarmed. He panicked for a moment but then saw Balinor rushing to his aid. Balinor fought with his sword as best as he could but before anyone could understand what was going on, he was run through.

Merlin’s heart stopped as he caught him in his arms. Pure rage filled his heart. He screamed. His eyes glowed and he threw the guard who just stabbed his father against a tree. Merlin lowered his dad to the ground and held him.

“Ah, I see you have your father's talent. Merlin... “

“Please, no. Please. I have just found you. I can save you.”

“Listen to me. When you face the dragon, remember: be strong. You're the last dragonlord now. You alone carry the ancient gift. Deep within yourself, you must find the voice that you and Kilgharrah share, for your soul and his are brothers. When you speak to him as kin, he must obey your will.”

“No. You can’t leave me”.

“Listen to me! Oh, my son. I've seen enough in you to know that you will make me proud.” He smiled. “Don’t be sad for me. Don’t cry for me. I am happy. I can finally go to my Hunith. I can finally see her again”

Balinor caressed Merlin’s cheek delicately, really happy and grateful he was able to meet his and Hunith’s son, as brief as it was, knowing that a part of them would still exist. Through Merlin, they would live forever.

With that thought and eager to meet Hunith in the other world, Balinor smiled and closed his eyes.

_When he reopened them, Balinor found himself in a familiar place. He was in a meadow near the village where he had met Hunith. He looked at himself. He was younger and dressed in white flax. The sun was warm. It was spring. Everything looked ethereal and peaceful._

_He heard giggling and turned around. And there she was. As beautiful as he remembered her. She was leading against their oak and looking at him with kindness and love._

_“Took you long enough, my Lord. I’ve been waiting for you for a long time” Hunith said._

_“I apologise, my love. I was lost for many years, and I couldn’t find you”_

_She offered her hand and he took it without hesitation. Their lips were the next to meet. When they separated they smiled at each other and started to walk away while talking and laughing about everything. They went, hand in hand, where they would spend eternity together in the fields of eternal youth, in Avalon._

Merlin cried and cuddled Balinor to his chest. “No. Father. No.”

Arthur showed up, saw Balinor and threw his sword down in frustration.

Merlin wiped his eyes and stood up to face Arthur. “He protected me”

They both heard a painful roar. Kilgharrah was flying toward their camp. He landed near Balinor and softly nuzzled his nose against his face and made a sad sound.

“Goodbye my old friend”

Silence fell in the camp until they could hear more soldiers approaching.

“On my back, now!” Kilgharrah ordered the two men.

They didn’t hesitate. Soon Kilgharrah was flying away, Arthur and Merlin on his back, and Balinor’ lifeless body in his claw.

He flew south, and landed only once deep in the De Bois’s lands.

“You will be safe here for now. Your companions are not far from here” The dragon prepared to leave.

“Wait” Merlin said. “What will you do with Balinor?”

“He was my DragonLord. I’ll bury his body in a sacred place for our kind, where our ancestors are resting, and where I’ll rest one day as well”

That said he flew away.

“Come on, let’s go” Arthur said rudely, and started walking.

“Arthur…”

“Not now, Merlin! We have to find the others…let’s go”

Merlin frowned, still unable to understand why Arthur had been so irritated since the rescue.

***

A couple of hours of silence later, they stopped to drink along a river bank.

“Are you all right? Mordred... He... he didn’t hurt you?” Arthur finally decided to talk to him.

“No, he didn't have time, thanks to you.”

Arthur was staring at him with his hands on his waist, as if he was waiting for something. His eyes were cold. Merlin had no idea what he wanted.

“I'm waiting for you to say something, anything that approaches an apology.”

Merlin’s eyes widened in disbelief. “An apology? I was taken hostage by Mordred. Are you trying to say that's somehow my fault?”

“Well, it _is_ your fault. Had you stayed put where I ordered you to stay, none of this would have happened. Ah, but no. No, you won't listen to me. Why mind me? I am no but your husband. You take it into your mind to do as you damn please, and next I know, I find you flat on your back with your pants down and the worst scum of the land between your legs about to take you before my very eyes.” Arthur was now screaming, his face red.

“I told you there was no danger in me going along with you. Would you listen to me? No. No, I'm only a carrier. Now, why should you pay any attention to what I have to say? Carriers, like women, are only fit to... to do as they're told and obey orders.”

“If you’d done that, we wouldn't be on the run now with a hundred immortal soldiers on our tail.”

Merlin slapped him.

Arthur was furious. He grabbed Merlin’s shoulders and shook him. “Try that again, and I'll slap you until your ears ring.”

“You're a brute and a fool!” Merlin shouted in return. “Do you think I went and got captured on purpose?”

“Yes, I do think you did it on purpose to get back at me for what happened at the glade.”

“At the glade? With the bandits?”

“Yes, I think you wanted to punish me for not being able to protect you”

“You think, to punish you, I went for a walk in the woods on...On the chance that some Camelot soldiers would be going by? Christ, Arthur, I went to pee!!”

“I ordered you to stay put.”

“I don't have to do what you tell me to.”

“Yes, you do. You are _my_ husband!”

“Oh, your husband. _Your_ husband. Oh, you think I'm your property, don't you? You think I belong to you, and you can't stand for someone to have something else that belongs to you!”

“You _do_ belong to me, and you _are_ my husband whether you like it or not.” Arthur snarled.

“Well, I don't like it! I don't like it one bit!” Merlin screamed in his face. “But that doesn't matter to you either, does it? As long as I'm there to warm your bed, you don't care what I think or how I feel. That's all a husband is to you, something to stick your cock into whenever you feel the urge, to satisfy your pride.” He pushed him away since Arthur was still holding his shoulders. “Let go of me, you... you _fucking_ bastard!”

“You foulmouthed idiot! You'll no speak to me that way!”

They stared at each other for a few seconds in silence, both clearly fuming. Then Arthur stepped back and when he spoke again, his voice was low and broken with emotion.

“Have you seen the gallows in the courtyard?”

Merlin frowned, but nodded nonetheless.

“There’s where my father was executed in from of me, and the same was about to happened to me. Have you any idea what it felt like for me to go back to Camelot after so long? To enter my home like a thief in the night? There is where my father died, where my sister betrayed me, where my life was destroyed. Where I would have been killed painfully and slowly had I been captured. I knew all of this, and I didn’t hesitate one second to come to you as soon as Lancelot told me you had been taken.” He gulped and continued. “The men helped me entered the city, but then I told them to go away for their safety. I was alone. I was scared. Then, in the courtyard, that…that dragon appeared in front of me, telling me he would take me to you up in my old chambers. You know how I feel about magic, and yet, when I heard you shouting I would have ridden a dozen dragons to come to you, Merlin” His voice cracked. “And when I heard you scream, I came to you armed with just a sword and my bare hands knowing I’d face an immortal army and sorcerers.”

Arthur was talking with more calm now, but his eyes were still filled with pain and rage. Merlin couldn’t speak. Still shock by his encounter with Mordred and his new found father’s death, he hadn’t realised how much desperate courage Arthur had taken to come and rescue him at Camelot.

The blond turned around and sat on the ground with his back against a rock. His eyes wet. “But you are right. My pride is hurt. And pride is more or less all I have left” He lowered his head in his hand. He looked exhausted. His voice was broken. “You’re tearing my guts out, Merlin.”

Merlin could feel something similar happening to his own as well. Overwhelmed, he kneeled in front of the trembling blond and lifted his head.

“I'm sorry. Arthur...please, forgive me.”

Arthur hugged him against his chest immediately. His tremors calmer. “Forgiven. I'm sorry, too. I ask your pardon for what I said. I was sore. I said more than I meant. Will you forgive me, too?”

Merlin nodded right away and caressed his cheek. “Forgiven.”

They looked into each other’s eyes, which were wet, smiled softly and then hugged tightly.

Merlin asked forgiveness, and Arthur gave it. But the truth was, Arthur had already forgiven everything Merlin’d done and everything he would ever do long before that day. For Arthur, that was no choice. _That_ was falling in love.

***

They found the men in a inn jut after sunset. They were having dinner.

The atmosphere was quite tense. Aside from Arthur, the rest of the group was treating Merlin as if he was invisible, even the knights.

“I don't believe I've properly thanked all of you. What you did last night...”

“…Kay, you got any wine down there?” Agravaine interrupted Merlin’s attempt to apology right away , as if he wasn’t even there.

Merlin looked down, sad. “It's been a long day. Think I'll go upstairs.”

Agravaine moved near Arthur as they watched the brunet entering the room reserved for him and Arthur. “He doesn’t understand what he nearly cost us.”

Arthur nodded. “Yes. And he needs to.”

When Arthur entered the bedroom, Merlin was sat on the bed, one of Arthur’s long shirts on to use for the night.

“Do you think they'll ever speak to me again?”

Arthur nodded. “They will.”

Merlin scoffed, not sure whether to believe him. “Come to bed, Arthur.” He pat on side of the bed.

“I'm afraid we've a matter still to settle between us before we sleep tonight.”

“What is it?”

“If a man among us had put the rest in danger as you did, he'd have likely had his ears cropped or been flogged, if not killed outright.”

Merlin gulped, nervous. “I... I didn't know.”

“Well, I know you are not yet familiar with our ways, and that's some excuse. Still, I did tell you to stay hid. If you’d done so, none of this would have happened. Now Camelot will be looking high and low for us. As for Mordred, eh, that's something else again…”

“He'll be looking for you, especially now that he knows you're here.” Merlin realised.

“Yes. He...It's personal with him. He would do everything to please his aunt. And finding me would please my sister very very much”

“I am so sorry, Arthur.”

“Eh, if it were just me, since you were hurt by it, I wouldn’t say more about it. But your actions put all the men in jeopardy.” He straightened up his shoulders. “Right. Best get on with it. You’ve done considerable damage disobeying my orders, and I'm gonna punish you for it.”

Merlin sat on the bed, unease. “What do you mean?”

“Oh, you know fine well what I mean. Now, get down by the bed and lift the shirt”

“I'll do no such thing.” Merlin refused, resolute.

“Now, Merlin...” Arthur ordered as he took his own belt in his hand in a threatening way.

Merlin crawled far from him on the bed. “I have said I'm sorry, and I am, and I will never do such a thing again.”

“That's just the point. You might. You come from a place where things are easier, I think. Where's it's... it's no a matter of life and death if you...You disobey orders or take matters into your own hands. But it's the hard truth in places and times like these that a... a light action can have very serious consequences.”

“All right, you... You're right, of course. I will obey your orders even if I don't agree with them.”

“Good. Now, then, get off the bed and we'll get this over with.”

“What? I... I said I would follow your orders.”

“There's a difference between understanding something in your mind and really knowing it, deep down. I can tell you from my own experience that a good beating makes you understand things in a more serious light. But as I said, if it was just me you put in danger...But it wasn't. Such a thing is justice, Merlin. You’ve done wrong to all the men, and you must suffer for it. I'm your husband. It's my duty to attend to it.”

Merlin had a lot of objections about this. If on one hand he could admit Arthur was right to seek justice, but his sense of self-preservation wouldn’t stand to be beaten, especially by the man he was dependent on as a friend, protector and lover.

Merlin tried to run but Arthur blocked the path.

“I will not let you beat me!” Merlin ensured him as he ran toward the door. Arthur caught him and pushed him on the carpet on the floor.

“You won't? I doubt you’ll have much to say about it.” He hit him on the bottom with belt once.

“Ow!” Merlin screamed.

“The boy’s getting on with it.” One of Agravaine’s men pointed out as they played cards downstairs.

“Seems so. It’s his duty.” Agravaine said.

“You’re my husband, like it or not.” Arthur said as he tried to hold a struggling Merlin still on the floor.

“I'll scream.” Merlin shouted while he kept fighting.

“Likely if not before, certainly during. I expect they'll hear you in the next village. You’ve got good lungs.” He pushed Merlin’s hands away from his face. The little minx was scratching it. “This'll go faster if you just yield, boy.”

“I’m gonna make you suffer!” Merlin promised.

“Oh! You already are.”

“You're taking pleasure in this, you barbarian.” Merlin managed to kick Arthur’s face with his foot, making his nose bleed.

“Aaaaaaaahhhhhh”

“Sounds like holy hell up there.” Kay pointed out.

“I'm not sure who's punishing who.” Gwaine laughed as he threw the dice.

“I'll never forgive you.” Merlin screamed as Arthur held his hands above his head with one hand and straddled him.

“Well, if I can forgive you for what you did, you can forgive me, too, soon as you can sit down again.” The blond smirked and hit the butt with the belt.

“Aah! You sadist!” Merlin accused as Arthur managed to turn him around and lift his shirt, exposing his nakedness.

“I don’t know what's a sadist. As for my pleasure, I said I was gonna punish you. I didn’t say I wasn’t gonna enjoy it.”

***

The next day the group finally decided their job was done and was time to go back to Tintagel. Merlin was ignoring Arthur, who looked like a lost puppy as he looked at his husband. He probably thought that once justice was done, problem was solved. Oh how wrong he was. Merlin was pissed and his butt hurt like hell, especially during the riding.

During the journey, all the men that were ignoring him the previous day were now trying their best to make him feel as comfortable as possible. He was happy they were back to be friends. He only had to endure their jokes about his hurting ass all morning. His only consolation was that Arthur wasn’t spared either, since Merlin proudly gave him a bleeding nose, a scratched face and lots of bites.

They reached the castle of Tintagel a few days later. They were greeted by all the inhabitants, eager to congratulate the newlyweds, after being inform through a letter of their marriage.

“Hooray!”

“Welcome home”

“Well done. Congratulations.”

Arthur watched as Merlin presented a fake smile and thanked the people, especially Gwen who ran to hug him before rushing to Lancelot.

The cheering was interrupted by the arrival of the Duke Tristan De Bois himself. He didn’t look happy but he sure pretended to be.

“Congratulations to you both. I look forward to hearing all about your nuptials. It's been some time since we've had a wedding here. My profound good wishes for a long and happy marriage, Lord Pendragon” He nodded toward Merlin, who thanked him, before turning to Arthur. “A word, nephew”

“I’ll be in your office very soon, uncle. I am just escorting my husband to our chambers first”

Tristan nodded, “Very well”

Merlin and Arthur started to walk towards their now joined bedroom. Merlin was still ignoring the blond and walking fast in front of him.

“You know” Arthur started. “I would prefer not to follow behind my husband”

“So walk faster” Merlin talked back, snarling.

They reached the room. Merlin entered it quickly and shut the door in Arthur’s face.

Arthur sighed deeply and shook his head. “Right”.

Depressed, he made his way to his uncle’s office. His uncle Agravaine was there as well, while Tristan sat at his desk.

“Ah, it's the bridegroom. Now that I have all two of you weasels gathered together, who would like to explain Camelot? Is the De Bois going to have to answer for your...your little raid, hmm?”

“No. Any repercussions will land solely on me. Mordred will make sure of that.” Arthur ensured him.

“Fine. You can go, brother.” Tristan dismissed Agravaine, who was clearly unhappy with that but could see his older brother was pissed and not one to be crossed. Arthur could see that too and tried to escape.

“Perhaps you’d rather chastise me at a later time, uncle.”

“Stay.” The Duke crossed his arms and started walking around the room. “I opened my home to you as sanctuary from your sister. I gave my food. I gave my hospitality. I grant you quarter and protection. I didn’t even demand for you to swear your fidelity to me, like a knight should to his lord. And how am I recompensed? You marry an outlander, knowing well enough that none in the land will support you now as my successor.”

“I meant no such betrayal, uncle.”

“And yet here we are. You ruined everything!”

“I don’t regret marrying Merlin, uncle. We are one now. There’s nothing you can do to change that”

Tristan narrowed his eyes, fuming. “Get out!”

Arthur left and spend the day in the stables, carrying for the horses. It always calmed him talking to them.

Later in the evening, he entered his chambers and sat on the bed. He could see Merlin was not sleeping.

“What did your uncle want?”

Arthur was so shocked that finally Merlin was talking to him that he didn’t answer until Merlin turned to look at him.

“He just wanted to let me know how disappointed he is with our marriage”

“Great” He said sarcastically then frowned when he saw Arthur undress. “What are you doing?”

Arthur stopped, blushing. “I thought...”

“Think again.” Merlin laid back under the blankets and turned his back to him.

Arthur sighed again and left the room to sleep with the horses.

***

Days passed like that. The tension between Arthur and Merlin and Arthur and Tristan showed no sign of improvement.

Arthur tried to distract himself by tending to the horses, training and hunting, while Merlin spent his time with Gaius.

The rift with Merlin was an open wound for Arthur that would not heal. He had thought the page had turned on an unpleasant chapter. But he had little experience as a husband, or he would never have had such naive expectations. If anything, returning to Tintagel only heightened the tensions and strains on his newfound marriage and presented him with more choices that would affect their lives for years still to come. He needed to do something, make a decision, choose a course of action. But what?

Arthur had to decide. What was more important? His authority as a husband as he had been taught or saving his marriage?

He smiled when he thought about it…because there was no choice to make.

In the evening he returned to his chambers, Merlin was there, just sitting in front of the alight fireplace. He barely spared a look at Arthur. The blond was not surprised. It was normal by then. However he definitely got Merlin’s attention when he kneeled in front of him.

“For the first time since I was a boy, I feel uncertain about my next step. All I know is I have to find a way forward, one step at a time. I have to make things right by you. I am sorry, Merlin. My life was always steeped in tradition, custom, and ritual. Wives obey their husbands. Husbands discipline them when they don't. Now, that's how it was with my father and his father on and on and on, back. But maybe for you and me it has to go a different way.”

Merlin didn’t know what to say to that and before he could think of something Arthur unsheathed his sword, laid the blade on both his hands and made as to offered it to Merlin, as a Knight did when swearing loyalty to his Lord.

“I swear by the holy iron which I hold, that I give you my fealty and pledge you my loyalty. If ever my hand is raised in rebellion against you again, then I ask that this holy iron may pierce my heart.” He looked at the expressionless brunet and his gaze turned crestfallen. “Is that not enough, Merlin? Do you not want me anymore? Do you wish to live separately?”

Merlin’s eyes were like ice. “I feel that's what I should want...” He wasn’t angry only because of the beating. Everything until that day had felt unreal to him. This world felt unreal. The dramas of that time insignificant and he had looked at the people around him as if they were funny men and women in costume. But what had happened a few days ago and Arthur made him fully realised it was all real. _Arthur_ was real. More real than anything he had experienced before, even more than Alex and his life in 2019. Arthur, tender lover and perfidious scoundrel. “…But I don't.”

Arthur sighed in relief and kissed Merlin’s hand with the wedding ring. “The key of Camelot. I gave it to you to symbolise that place is as much as yours as it’s mine. But it’s not mine anymore.”

“Arthur...”

“That thought doesn’t pain me as much as it once might have. _You_ are my home now. I want you, Merlin.” He said before being silence for a moment as uncertain of what words to choose. He nuzzled Merlin’s neck with his cheek and warm lips. “I want you so much, I can scarcely breathe. Will you have me?”

“Yes. Yes, I'll have you.” _Why keep denying it?_

Arthur grabbed his hand like a snake. The effort to control his emotions was such that his hands were shaking. "I don't ... I don't think I'll be able to be delicate, Merlin"

The brunet had barely time to nod that Arthur had already laid him on the soft carpet in front of the fireplace, keeping hold of his wrists, and was kissing him hard. Merlin returned the kiss before sitting up and stripping both of them of their clothes.

Kisses. Kisses. Grabbing of the flesh.

Then Merlin pushed Arthur down and straddled him. He leaned forward and took his member in his mouth while shaking his ass in front of Arthur’s face, who didn’t hesitate a second before tasting his husband’s sweetness. Sloppy sounds echoed in the room. Then Merlin straighten his back and turned around, now facing the blond, whose lips were wet with the brunet’s nectar.

He took his now hard member and lined it up with his entrance. He pushed himself down until he was fully sat on Arthur’s lap. They both groaned in pleasure. Then Merlin started to move, and before Arthur could realise it, grabbed the blond’s sword and pointed it at his neck, freezing the blond.

“Listen to me. If you ever raise a hand to me again, Arthur Pendragon, I will cut your heart out and have it for breakfast. Do you understand me? Do you?”

“Yes. You have my word. You're mine, my cariad. Mine, now and forever. I want you, body and soul. And I mean to make you call me master.”

He pushed the sword away out of Merlin’s hand. He turned them around and his thrusts became deep and hard.

Sweat drops were running along their bodies. Their fleshes were now meeting with pushes so strong it was almost painful. Merlin’s tights were sore, but Arthur was restless. Merlin could feel a constant spark raising to a peak of intensity with each push. Arthur spread his legs to the maximum and pushed hard in him beyond the pain, to the pure sensation, on the verge of surrender. 

"Yes!" Merlin screamed. "Oh God, Arthur, yes!" 

Arthur grabbed him by the nipples and pushed harder and faster. Somewhere in his soul, Merlin felt a spark ignite and an overwhelming passion emerging from the ashes. He arched his body to meet him and dug his nails into his back, scratching it. Arthur screamed and bite Merlin's neck. They attacked each other as they drew the other towards themselves, lost in the desire to become one. They came together with a loud cry in that last instant of dissolution and fulfilment.

Merlin came to his senses after a few minutes, his head on Arthur's chest, listening to his irregular heartbeat that follows an orgasm. Their eyes met and Arthur smiled.

“Oh yes, Merlin. I am your master, and you're mine. Seems I can’t possess your soul without losing my own.”

At these words Merlin closed his eyes to rest. The last things he remembered was Arthur covering the both of them with a blanket from the bed.

***

When Merlin opened his eyes the next morning, they were still on the carpet. His back against Arthur’s chest, who was hugging him tight. All his muscles were sore. Arthur was looking at him with a very satisfied gleam in his eyes.

“It looks like the ride was heavy. I left you a little sore"

Merlin turned and looked at him with a critical eye. "You look a bit battered too, my boy. Oh, was I too rough on you?”

Arthur smirked and kissed him. “Well, if you bed a vixen, you have to expect to get bit. Come here and bite me some more."

“Arthur. I ache all over” Merlin complained.

He chuckled. “I’ll be delicate”

Merlin rolled his eyes, knowing by then that it was a lie.

Later they were still laying together, holding hands and looking each other in the eyes, none of them in a hurry to leave for the day after being apart and off with each other for so many days.

“Cariad.”

Merlin smiled slyly. “Yes, master?”

Arthur chuckled. “What does "fucking" mean?”

Merlin frowned and looked at him. “What?”

“Fucking. After Camelot, you called me a ‘ _fucking bastard_.’ If you have to insult me I’d like for you to do it in a way I can at least understand. By the way you said it I know it was a bad word, but what does it mean?”

“Um...” Merlin bit his lips, “well, it means what we just did.”

“Ah. What about ‘ _sadist_ ’? You called me that as well.”

“Well, that means someone who takes sexual pleasure in hurting someone.”

“Oh, well, you don’t flatter me overmuch, but I can’t fault your observations.”

They both laughed while they kissed.

“I'm ravenous.” Merlin said.

“So am I.” Arthur joined in and moved on top of him, but stopped when he saw Merlin’s unamused face. “You meant food.”

“Mm-hmm.”

Arthur sighed. He wanted his husband all the time, but he also wanted to take care of him. He smiled, finally happy after those past hellish days and stood up. “I'll go to the kitchen and fetch us something to eat.”

***

The following weeks passed in serenity and a routine was created between our main characters. Every morning Merlin was awakened by some sexual act inflicted by Arthur, his favourite was to feel his tongue licking his rim. The two had breakfast together in the great hall of the castle and after a passionate kiss Arthur went to work, while Merlin spent the day with Gaius. Merlin brought lunch to Arthur, who then dragged him somewhere to make love to thank him. In the evening they dined together and then made sure that their moans of pleasure echoed throughout the castle.

Merlin's day with Gaius was a joy for the young man. Together they treated the people and prepared medicines. Merlin happily took on the task of collecting herbs and visiting the sick at home. He loved the serenity he felt when every morning he carefully prepared the medicine basket with potions and some tools he had created with Elyan's help, such as a sort of stethoscope. People looked at him skeptically at first, but since he always treated their ailments successfully they just shrugged. When most of the patients were gone, Merlin would lock himself in the small room in Gaius's laboratory to practice magic. 

Merlin smiled. Sometimes Arthur would bring him herbs and flowers from his hunts and Merlin made sure to show him his gratitude very passionately. 

He stopped grinding and put down the pestle and looked around the laboratory. He watched all the glass vials glistening on the shelves, the bandages and dry leaves, roots and mushrooms neatly wrapped in gauze. He sighed with contentment. In fact, he was really happy, he suddenly realised. Despite the dangers and uncertainties of his current situation, and the pain of missing Alex, Merlin actually wasn't unhappy at all. It was the opposite.

He immediately felt unworthy and disloyal. How could he be happy when Alex must be mad with worry? He felt remorse. He should have gone back already or made more effort to return. But the problem was that he had done it. He had tried several times and look what happened. Married to an exiled prince, pursued by an immortal army led by a sadistic and evil sorcerer, and they lived in this den of vipers where an uncle would not hesitate to kill Arthur if he considered him a threat to the succession. But the worst part was that Merlin felt happy.

Since returning to Tintagel he had tried to not think about his previous life. He knew he’d have to make a decision soon, but he kept delaying it, enjoying the pleasure of Arthur’s company and his arms.

Suddenly the door swung open and a limping Arthur accompanied by a red-haired young man entered. He sat on the stool while Merlin examined him, as Gaius was away. 

“A slight sprain. What have you done?" 

"I fell," Arthur said succinctly. 

"From the fence?" Merlin teased him and got a frown in return. 

"No, from Hengroen"

"You rode that beast of a horse??"

"He wasn’t so bad. You did well for a while, my lord," Said the red-haired boy, who extended his hand when he saw Merlin's confused face. “Oh forgive me. I'm Galahad, Prince Arthur's squire”

“Oh. Pleased to meet you. If you weren’t that bad, how did you fall? Was your butt too big to fit in the saddle?" Merlin smirked.

Arthur narrowed his eyes. “No. The horse was stung by a bee, he reared up and started kicking like crazy all over the fence. I managed to stay on until he jumped over the fence"

“Wow, and where is he now?" Merlin asked. 

"I hope in hell, where he can stay for a while" Arthur grunted. 

“Aw my poor husband” Merlin cooed as he bent down to kiss the temple of the blonde who was too adorable with a pout. 

Arthur looked at him. "I'm not a child!" 

"Of course you are. You are _my_ baby"

Galahad coughed uncomfortable. “I’ll go. I’ll tell the others you’ll not come to work tomorrow since you need to…to rest” He said looking at Merlin before leaving.

Merlin frowned toward the now closed door. “Can you tell me why everyone think we have nothing in our mind but sleeping together?”

Arthur smirked. “First of all we have been married for less than a month, and secondly, everything you think is written all over your beautiful face, my love"

“Damn me!”

A couple of days later, Arthur got his revenge for the teasing. He asked Merlin to assist helping a mare giving birth during a difficult labour. The brunet had to insert his hand deep inside the mare to feel the colt and help its birth by pulling, while Arthur and the other stable boys took care of the mare in pain.

Later, when the colt was born and Merlin sat on the floor covered in blood, smelly fluids and afterbirth, Arthur smirked at him and kissed him on the head. “Aw my poor _baby_ …you’ve never looked more beautiful”

“Oh fuck you, Pendragon!”

Merlin tried to snarl, and yet he had never been happier.

***

The peace was interrupted by that unpleasant Agravaine who forced Arthur and his knights to go on a long hunt with him that would last a week.

The idea of being away from Arthur for so long depressed Merlin deeply, realising how every day he eagerly looked forward to the evening to have dinner together and the joy of seeing him here and there during the day, of the security his warm presence gave him in bed at night and his caresses in the morning.

He was with Arthur in the courtyard while he was finishing preparing his horse. “I’ll miss you”

“I’ll miss you too. I wasn’t expecting it, but it hurts me to leave you” Arthur caressed his cheek.

“Kiss your husband goodbye, Arthur.” Agravaine ordered, already on top of his horse as the knights were already riding out of the city.

Merlin ignored him. “Be careful”

“I will. You too. These are dangerous times, my cariad.”

“I will.”

They kissed passionately, uncaring about the bystanders.

“I said kiss him, not swallow him.” Agravaine snapped.

Arthur stared at Merlin, looking at him in adoration. “I want to imprint you in my memory to remember you while I’m away”

Merlin smiled at him. “Come back to me, Arthur Pendragon.”

***

A couple of days after Arthur left, Merlin felt bored and sad. Thankfully he had Gaius and Gwen to cheer him up.

This one had become a dearest friend, and they spent every day together, especially since they understood the other’s loneliness. Merlin missed Arthur as Gwen missed Lancelot.

One evening, they were together in Merlin’s room and heard a strong knocking. The door shook.

“Open up!”

Merlin frowned in confusion. “Who's there?”

“Open the door now! It's the warden.”

The two friends stood up not knowing what was going on.

“Open this door now! This is official business! We demand to see Lord Merlin right away. Open up!”

Merlin gulped and opened the door before the men would break it down. A group of armed soldiers stormed in and held him by the arms in a vice. Others went to Gwen.

“What the hell are you doing.?” He asked, scared.

“Merlin Pendragon. By orders of Lord Tristan De Bois, Duke of Cornwall, you’re under arrest for sorcery.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: it’s time for some truths.   
> Merlin wiped his tears away, and took a deep breath, “I am from the future”


End file.
